A Miracle a Day:

Christine Guetzloff’s Battle with Ovarian Cancer

Once upon a time there was a guy named Charles Richter, who did not study earthquakes nor invent the seismometer. This Charles Richter grew up on a farm near Colman—a small town in eastern South Dakota. His career as a competition street-racer was cut-short after a run-in with the law. When he was old enough, he went to college to study engineering. He met a girl named Bernadette Anne Luze while at South Dakota State, where both were work-study students. Bernadette came from a large farm family in rural Brookings County and loved children, horses, and reading books. After driving her through the snow-filled ditches of the prairie in his Oldsmobile, and regaling her with his grade school poetry, Chuck Richter was added to the list of Bernie’s loves, and following his graduation, the pair were married in 1968. They experienced life in the Army while stationed in Havre d’Grace, Maryland and Huntsville, Alabama as part of Chuck’s Army duties. In January 1969 before Bernadette joined Chuck in Germany, she gave birth to their firstborn, Christine Justel Richter. Shortly thereafter, Christine and her Mom joined Chuck stationed at Miesau Army Depot, Germany for a year after which they returned to South Dakota where Christine would later be joined by nine siblings. Finished with missile ordnance duties and his time in the Army, Chuck, Sr. purchased a farm from his parents outside of Colman. In addition to the many animals (cows, horses, pigs, chickens, sheep, etc.) they raised on the farm, the couple raised their ten children.

• Chris
• Chuck, Jr.
• Bill
• Laura
• Ginger
• Betsy
• Julie
• Zeke
• Nancy
• Alex

When Christine J. Richter was young, she was fascinated with re-runs of flipper. Her Christmas wish list included a dolphin suit complete with a tail and fins that would allow her to glide effortlessly underwater. At age five, she attended the Colman Elementary School. Like the majority of the Richter kids, she received glowing reports during the parent-teacher conferences. Chris paid close attention to the teachers in school and would bring home ‘A’s on her report card. Throughout elementary school the kids would ride the school bus to get to the school. The route was changed every year, but was generally an hour of round trip bus-time. Of course, the farm animals needed feeding before getting on the school bus (the kids not the animals), and showers needed taking, which meant getting up early was a requirement.

Once a week she would ride the bus to Grandma’s house after school to get piano lessons. In addition to giving Christine and the other grandkids piano lessons, Grandma Richter was also a good seamstress. She would make the girls dresses or other outfits. She had finished sewing a first-communion dress for Christine in the spring of 1977. So Bernadette drove the family’s red Volkswagen bus, loaded with pre-school aged children Laura, Ginger, and Betsy in the van (and Julie in the womb) to Grandma’s house to fetch the dress. As she turned the van into the farmstead along Highway 34, an 18-wheeled tractor-trailer rig smashed into the side of the van. The children were unhurt, but Bernadette suffered three broken vertebrae and a broken arm. The family visited her in the hospital and she would let the kids have the parts of her hospital meal that she didn’t want. Bernie would let Ginger and Betsy ("the little kids") suck water from cup filled mostly with ice chips through the bendable hospital straw. Although she would recover from that accident, she would continue to have aches and pains. With the van smashed beyond repair, the family purchased its first and only brand new car—a 1977 Datsun 710 station wagon for $4400.

As the oldest child, Christine helped her Mom and Dad take care of the younger children and did farm chores morning and night. Truly caring about the animals, she spoke of someday being a veterinarian. The baby piglets and lambs needed shots, tales docked, and so forth. Spring through autumn, Christine could be found on the tractor in the fields. Her favorite type of fieldwork was cultivating corn with the open topped tractor. During the sunny weather, she took advantage of being outdoors to work on her tan dressing in her bikini top. One day while cultivating corn with 30-acres in which to turn around, she singled out the spot with the pickup and sideswiped the black Chevy giving it three large dents that would become permanent fixtures.

The family worked as a team. When the hay was ready on hot summer days, the entire family would take part in the work. If hay-stacking, Chris’ Dad would drive the tractor around the fields with the loader’s forked bucket gathering up hay from the windrows arranged in patterns. At a location in the center of the field, hay would be piled, and the team would walk around and around stomping the hay making sure that it formed a rectangle. Each bucket of hay brought in would be distributed with pitchforks and packed with footsteps. By the time it was packed down, the next bucket of hay would be raised into position. Our team was known as the Green Hay Packers. Continuing on in this manner, The Green Hay Packers would build a hay-stack 20 feet high (before settling).

On other occasions the hay or straw was baled into small rectangular bales. Approximately 150 bales could fit on the big flatbed trailer for transport to the hay-loft. Bernadette and a couple kids would take the bales off of the flatbed and place them in an elevator that would carry them into the loft. The other kids and Chuck, Sr. would stack them 10 bales high inside the barn. The kids would sometimes build elaborate tunnel networks as the bales were stacked. Later, the kids would crawl through the dusty tunnels on hands and knees accompanied by creatively named kitties (e.g., Calculator, Nimbus 3, and Ricky Staggs), and Rusty the dog.

On particularly hot days, the baling and stacking would have to be done late in the evening when it was a bit cooler to keep more leaves on the hay. When the work was done Chuck and Bernadette would take the children to Lake Campbell where we’d go for a moonlight swim. This would cool everyone off before going to sleep in the house with no air conditioning, as well as clean off the dust and dirt. Except for the odd high school skinny dippers, we had the swimming area all to ourselves.

Everyone in the family (with the exception of Dad) had a horse. Christine had a horse that she named Marshmallow Patches. He was a difficult horse to train, but Chris loved him nonetheless. She’d ride to the neighbor’s place where she and her friend Charlene would play. Other times when the cattle needed to be driven to or from Grandpa’s farm, many of the family members would mount their saddled-horses and ride alongside the cattle. Always there was work to be done on the farm.

In High School, Christine Justel gave up the Nancy Drew books to study mathematics and the sciences. She received good grades, even though she took the optional harder classes. In addition to classes, she participated in oral interpretation, competing against other students in judged speeches. She was very convincing and won many tournaments. She also put her Grandmother’s piano lessons to good use, playing at nursing homes, playing for recitals and accompaniment for school concerts. Also during high school, she became chapter president of the FFA at Colman. Looking up to her Uncle Chuck Luze she was very active within the FFA, she competed in (and excelled in) many activities, including FFA contests like land judging, meat judging, crop judging, and parliamentary procedures.

The South Dakota driving age was 14 years old for daytime driving, and 16 years would garner legally entrusted driving privileges at all hours. As the oldest, Chris would drive "The Big Kids" thirty-five miles to the inexpensive theatre in Sioux Falls, the shows were a month or two behind the first run, but the kids loved seeing movies however infrequently. On one such trip to Sioux Falls, Chris was driving the silver (or grey depending on who was arguing) Datsun station wagon. A hit and run driver darted out of a gas station and rammed the Datsun’s driver door while Chris was parked waiting in the left turn lane. The kids held the door closed with twine string the whole way home. A visit to the junkyard replaced the orange twine string with a fully functioning green door.

Close calls with danger make one appreciate life. Another close call that Chris had involved being trampled by livestock. The feed had been poured into a feed bunk located in an empty pen and the hungry animals in the adjoining pen were eagerly anticipating dinner. As Chris opened the gate, the pressure on the gate threw her to the ground with the gate on top of her. Fortunately the animals were sheep and not cows. Unfortunately there were many of them. To determine how many she had to count the incriminating hoof marks on her back and divide by four.

After graduating Salutatorian in 1987, Chris went to college at South Dakota State University seventeen miles from the farm in the town of Brookings where she studied Chemistry. That year, Bernadette Richter (judged world’s most-loving mom by at least 11 people) underwent a mastectomy and subsequent chemotherapy treatment following detection of a lump. The treatments were deemed a success, but had taken quite a toll on Bernadette. By the end of Christine’s first year of college, her Mom was complaining of pain and shortness of breath. X-rays showed that the cancer had metastasized to the lungs. A second round of treatment was started. By July 1988 the doctors admitted that her survival until Christmas was a very optimistic assessment.

Chris’ brother Chuck joined her at SDSU in the fall of 1988. Following in her footsteps, he took many of the same classes that she had taken the year before. When they could, the two would drive to the farm or the hospital to visit and help their mom as she endured various medicines. Bernadette died on Halloween day afternoon in the year 1988.

Every year, Chris looked forward to Dad’s homemade fudge, which he would only attempt during the holiday season because it took so long to make. Just before Christmas in 1989 Chris fell ill with Mononucleosis. She was dog sick and ended up going to the hospital on Christmas Eve day. Not having been able to keep any food down for a few days, the doctor figured she needed to be on an IV for nourishment and admitted her to the hospital. From the hospital bed she told the siblings visiting her that she really wanted some of Dad’s homemade fudge. So her sisters decided to pack up some fudge before returning to the hospital that evening. She put a tiny drop of the chocolate on her lips and let it dissolve. Chris later described the taste sensation as pure bliss. Ginger, Betsy, and Laura stayed with Chris in the room, talking and watching "The Sound of Music," which was playing on the television mounted from the ceiling. During the movie, Dr. Jacobs her attending physician came running into the room and headed for the large window. He promptly wrapped the green and white drapery tightly about his head, saying in a girlish voice "Let’s make play clothes!" Shortly after he broke out singing "These are a few of my favorite things!"

Chris did well in her college courses in spite of her active social life. She was frequently found at the bars or parties having fun with friends and dating guys. She kept a list of the guys that she kissed and it grew rapidly. That was likely one of the main reasons why she had ended up in the hospital with mono. She definitely knew how to have fun. Her Dad once told her that her company was more enjoyable after she’d had a few beers.

In her junior year of college, Chris lived in a college party house called "The DMZ" with five other girls. They did their part to preserve the house’s reputation. In her senior year, she met a football player turned chemistry grad-student named Tom Guetzloff. Social friends for a while, they discovered they had much in common. Chris decided to stay at SDSU to pursue her doctorate and her future husband. With a ring strategically placed in an aspirin bottle, Tom proposed by faking a headache. Thus it was that in 1992 when Chris was 23 years old, the couple began "happily ever after" with an afternoon wedding (reception and dance following).

Those were the Ramen Noodle days. (Additionally, Chris was actually fond of white rice with margarine, salt and pepper.) They made their first home in an apartment in the college house at 206 Harvey Dunn in Brookings. The apartment served as a backdrop for chemistry research and the rearing of Bandit, their first dog. Research involved many long nights at the lab, and no time for raising children. After a few years they still had more research ahead, but it was time to make the family bigger. In 1994, after a (now-shattered) record labor of 60 hours, Chris gave birth to her first child, a daughter named Megan Bernadette Guetzloff.

In 1995 positions at Mt. Marty College brought them to Tabor, South Dakota where they bought the proverbial three-bedroom house with a two-car garage and an acre of land on which Megan and Bandit (and later Bandit’s replacement Jesse) could play. Tabor was home to the regionally famous "Czech Days," which included some small carnival attractions, Czech cuisine, and beer. Cousins, aunts and uncles would camp out in or outside the Guetzloff home during that weekend each summer talking, grilling out, and watching the parades. In between teaching chemistry and physics classes, their dissertations were written and successfully defended.

Jacob Alfred Guetzloff joined the family in 1996. A fairly quiet baby, Jake was later diagnosed as having autism, and would require much love and parental attention. The family had many local friends and often entertained nearby family visitors. They lived frugally, drove used vehicles and were able to pay off their college loans rapidly. In 1998 and 1999, reorganization in Mt. Marty’s chemistry department prompted them to sell their house and move into a small trailer house that they fixed up. This would allow them to move as quickly as possible, and Tom begin a job search that included such options as joining the Air Force.

In 2000, Tom secured a tenure track assistant professor position with West Virginia State University. The family packed up moved to West Virginia for a new start. They bought a house with a big yard in a quiet neighborhood. Christine was offered a part-time position with the university, which didn’t pay much but would keep her involved in the world of chemistry while also being a mother to her two children.

In early 2001, life was going well for the Guetzloffs, and then genetics caught up with Christine. In addition to her mother Bernadette, several great-aunts on her mother’s side had been diagnosed with Breast Cancer, and had subsequently passed away. For this reason, mammograms and self-breast-exams were considered musts for the women in the family. No one had considered the risk of other types of cancer to be significant.

The Guetzloff family traveled to the home of Chris’ brother Chuck living in Seattle for a reunion over the 4^th of July week in 2001. During the weeklong reunion, Chris complained of feeling nine months pregnant and of having pressure in her abdomen. She attributed the feeling to a problem with her gall bladder. Otherwise, she was in good spirits and seemed to be a healthy 32-year old mother of two. On the return drive with the Rasmussens, the families stopped at Glacier National Park in Montana. Leaving Glacier National Park behind, the families traveled east, stopping at Yellowstone National Park on their way to South Dakota. Tom was dropped in Rapid City, SD to catch a flight back to Charleston, WV where he had work waiting. The rest of the crew headed to eastern South Dakota.

Following the 2001 Richter Reunion Chris was admitted to the hospital in Rock Rapids, IA. Her diagnosis is described in the emails that were sent between family members and in emails from Chris and Tom to friends and family.

Subject: Chris
Date: Mon, 16 Jul 2001 13:42:23 -0500

Tom,

Maybe you already heard, but Chris has been admitted to the Rock Rapids Hospital. They are putting IV's in her...she was very dehydrated...they had problems finding a vein because she was so dehydrated (no food for 5 days I hear). They are thinking pancreas or gall bladder or scar tissue buildup...are still processing tests and may need to do an ultrasound.

They are going to put a tube down her nose to release the gas and ease the pressure. She has our cell phone, the number is XXX-XXX-XXXX, or the number to the hospital is XXX-XXX-XXXX, she was in Room 110 at noon.

Chad

Sent: Tuesday, July 17, 2001 9:30 PM

Subject: Chris' status in Rock Rapids Hospital

Family,

Just found out the following info from the doctor and surgeon: Chris has a stone approx. 1-inch in diameter in her gall bladder, and some gravelly stones (smaller) possibly in the pancreas. She also has fluid in her abdomen (not surrounding the liver as originally thought) probably due to the inflammation of the pancreas (pancreatis). If this fluid stays the liver could be damaged (as would occur in heavy drinking, etc.). As of now, they need to "put the stomach at rest" (i.e. nothing to eat or drink except an occasional ice chip) so they can perform surgery to remove the stone and gall bladder hopefully on Wednesday.

Chris has a nasal tube from her nose down into her intestines to remove the undigested food from the last several days, which could not pass due to the gall stone. The nasal tube through her throat makes it very painful to talk, so please keep this in mind when calling her. They are going to give her some chloraseptic, which will hopefully help. She is also on an IV to restore her fluids. They are going to add some medicine to her IV to relieve some discomfort in her abdomen, which has a lot of pressure built up from the fluid.

We are in the waiting game at this point until things settle down in Chris' system. Tomorrow there will be another ultrasound to check on her progress for surgery.

It looks like the surgeon will be the same one that did Ginger's 2nd C-section. Once the surgery has been performed, Chris will need to spend at least 3 more days in the hospital to recuperate. The doctor has already said Chris can't drive for at least 3 weeks after the surgery.

Megan and Jake are in good spirits and seem to be enjoying the extra time with Angel & Hope.

That is what we know at this point. We will fill you in on more details as they become available to us. Keep Chris in your prayers.

Ginger & Chad

Sent: Tuesday, July 17, 2001 11:14 AM

Subject: Flying out

I'm flying out on Friday. Ginger will be giving us an update on Chris soon. But she should be ok. Thanks for the prayers.

Tom

Sent: Wednesday, July 18, 2001 12:03 PM
Subject: Re: Flying out

Went to see Chris. Everything still stands as was stated in the last e-mail. She will be having another ultrasound around noon. Her throat still is sore so try to keep it short when conversing with her. If you have any other questions feel free to call me and I will do my best to answer them.

I will update you as soon as we find any more information out.

Ginger

Sent: Wednesday, July 18, 2001 10:47 PM

Subject: Chris

Here is the latest as of Tuesday evening:

Chris is going to have a catscan performed in Sheldon tomorrow morning at 9:15 a.m. Depending on the results of the catscan, she may have surgery tomorrow afternoon in Rock Rapids. A third doctor recommended the catscan, because he isn't convinced it is the gall bladder. They are going to try for a scope surgery, but there is a possibility of a full-blown incision, similar to a C-section.

Chris still has the nasal tube and is on an IV. Her abdominal area continues to swell, as the fluid builds up in that area (she mentioned feeling very pregnant again). Her intestines have been cleaned out enough by the pump to allow surgery.

A correction from yesterday, her liver is surrounded by fluid, which could cause potential damage. The kids are still holding out OK so far. Thanks for all those who have called/e-mailed with your support. Chris appreciates your concerns and prayers.

Ginger & Chad

Sent: Thursday, July 19, 2001 1:59 PM

Subject: Chris

Dear Family and friends,

They did not find anything different on the cat scan. They doctors are still a bit concerned about the excess fluid in her abdomen and around her liver. Because of this fact and it not being the most open and shut gallbladder surgery they are taking the liberty of transferring her to Sioux Falls. Chris will be in Mckennan hospital. We are still hopeful that she will have the surgery sometime today.

Ginger

Sent: Friday, July 20, 2001 8:45 AM

Subject: Re: Chris

We are still not sure… She was transferred to Sioux Falls yesterday to McKennan Hospital. They took another ultrasound of her pelvic area checking into the possibility of ovarian cysts. The ascitis seems to be greater than with a normal gall stone patient. Waiting for an answer seems to be getting old. Chris has not eaten anything for about a week and each day she gains two pounds due to the build up of ascitis. Hopefully we will know more today. Thanks for you concern.

Ginger

Sent: Friday, July 20, 2001 9:44 AM

Subject: Re: Chris updated info.

Family and Friends,

We have bad news to report... Chris has cancer. A baseball-sized tumor was found outside in between her uterus and rectum, which they think is causing the fluid buildup. It sounds like they are going to remove the tumor tomorrow and start chemo after that. We will let you know more as information becomes available.

Please keep Chris in your prayers.

Ginger & Chad

Sent: Friday, July 20, 2001 10:34 PM

Subject: Chris Guetzloff

Family & Friends,

Another update as of tonight: Chris is in McKennan hospital, diagnosed with a cancerous tumor (the doctor is 99% sure). Surgery to remove the tumor is scheduled for 2:00 p.m. CST. They also plan to remove the uterus, ovaries, and possibly part of the colon depending on what they find. The fluid buildup was caused by the tumor. A rectal examination is how the tumor was identified in conjunction with the ultrasound. They think the tumor is cancerous due to its irregular shape. We are hopeful that the cancer is contained in this area only. Chris does still have the gallstone as well, but the doctor is not concerned about it and will probably not remove it (she will be losing enough organs as it is and they want to keep the incision as small as reasonably possible).

We hear that the surgeon is one of the best in the region, and is a specialist in this field. Chris was surrounded by family and friends today and seems to be in good spirits. Tom flew in tonight around 5:30 p.m. Megan and Jake are still staying with us and seem getting along very well. Tom is also staying here tonight. If anyone needs to reach Tom or us, our home phone # is XXX-XXX-XXXX, and our cell phone # is XXX-XXX-XXXX.

Thanks for all your prayers and support, and keep them coming, especially tomorrow afternoon.

Ginger & Chad

Sent: Friday, July 20, 2001 7:41 AM
Subject: Re: Chris Guetzloff

Family and Friends,

I just want to tell all of you that this doctor/hospital business was a nightmare. I know many of you have called me and asked me if Chris is getting good care. The answer is yes. Chris received several physical exams that collaborated with the two visual techniques, that she has a growth. The doctor through years of experience stated, that there is a high probability it is cancer. Some good news, he said that younger patients sometimes do not have a cancerous growth in this situation (keep in mind that is rare, also).

Chris is at a hospital that has more than three doctors. She has seen three specialists and this doctor has a good rep. Many people that I know at the hospital stated that she is in very good hands. This surgery is not a walk in the park but she looks very strong to me also. I know that she can pull through with flying colors. So roughly at two o'clock the surgery will commence. We are expecting anywhere from an hour to two hours. Keep us in mind and thank-you in advance.

Sent: Saturday, July 21, 2001 11:22 PM
Subject: Chris Guetzloff Surgery

Family & Friends,

Chris made it through the surgery and is now recovering. They were able remove 90-95% of the cancer in the surgeon's estimation. The tumor was connected to both the colon and uterus. They could not remove cancer from the colon without causing damage and potential infection. It is now up to prayer and chemo to hopefully rid her system of all the cancer.

Around 5 quarts of fluid was removed from her. They also removed the uterus, ovaries, and the appendix. The surgery took around 2 hours. The doctor plans to put Chris on an aggressive chemo schedule, to begin in approximately 2 weeks in Sioux Falls. After the chemo has begun, she may be > able to return to WV for the remaining chemo treatments (6 total treatments, 1 every 3 weeks). The doctor said some people respond well to the chemo and some people don't.

Chris was in alot of pain after the surgery and is on morphine. She did respond to people and is aware of what is happening, but is very tired and is in need of rest to begin the healing process. Please continue to pray for Chris, we can see the strength God is giving her through this ordeal.

Tom is staying at the hospital with Chris tonight. Chris was surrounded by family again today and tonight. We'll let you know as we find out more.

Ginger & Chad

Sent: Wednesday, July 25, 2001 9:31 PM
Subject: She is out

Friends and Family,

Chris is out of the hospital. She has overian cancer and she will see the doctor for next Wed. They might start chemo on Wed or a later date. It will be up to the docotor when Chris will come back to WV. She will have several complications and travel could occur only on certain days between treatments. I will keep you informed. I'm planning on staying until she is over the sickness of the first chemo treatment. We are staying at Ginger and Chad's at this phone number, XXX-XXX-XXXX. Thanks for the prayers and gifts.

Tom

Sent: Friday, July 27, 2001 6:19 PM

Subject: Update on Chris and some old news

Family and Friends,

Chris is doing fine. She has been resting and walking a mile a day as the doctor has ordered. I have attached an old email below that will give you some idea's on what has happened to her. She does have ovarian cancer. Chris is going to have an appointment this Wed and we will find out the details of the Chemo procedure. Hopefully soon, she will be able to travel to WV to receive more Chemo treatments. For some of you this is old news but I wanted some of you to know what happened to Chris. We are staying at Ginger and Chad's house. Thanks for the prayers.

Tom

OLD NEWS

Family & Friends,

Another update as of tonight. Chris is in McKennan hospital, diagnosed with a cancerous tumor (the doctor is 99% sure). Surgery to remove the tumor is scheduled for 2:00 p.m. CST. They also plan to remove the uterus, ovaries, and possibly part of the colon depending on what they find. The fluid buildup was caused by the tumor. A rectal examination is how the tumor was identified in conjunction with the ultrasound. They think the tumor is cancerous due to its irregular shape. We are hopeful that the cancer is contained in this area only. Chris does still have the gall stone as well, but the doctor is not concerned about it and will probably not remove it (she will be losing enough organs as it is and they want to keep the incision as small as reasonably possible).

We hear that the surgeon is one of the best in the region, and is a specialist in this field. Chris was surrounded by family and friends today and seems to be in good spirits. Tom flew in tonight around 5:30 p.m. Megan and Jake are still staying with us and seem getting along very well. Tom is also staying here tonight. If anyone needs to reach Tom or us, our home phone # is XXX-XXX-XXXX.

Thanks for all your prayers and support, and keep them coming, especially tomorrow afternoon.

Ginger & Chad

Sent: Saturday, July 28, 2001 1:43 PM

Subject: Update from Chris

Friends and Family,

This is Chris writing to update you all. I had surgery last Friday evening. Dr Samir, an OB/GYN Gynecologic Oncologist (has a great reputation around here), performed the surgery. He removed my ovaries, uterus, lymph nodes, appendix, and the malignant tumor (size of a large fist). We do not have the official results of the type of cancer, stage, etc, but from reading on the web it is definitely not Stage I or II. We should find out that information next week when I meet with Dr. Samir about the chemotherapy. (By the way, I still have my gall bladder, which is what I initially went in for. I had no other symptoms of the ovarian cancer except the acsites (fluid buildup). That is why ovarian cancer is called the "silent killer").

We were apprised of the chemotherapy on Tuesday before being discharged at the Avera Cancer Institute in Dr. Samir's office by his nurse. She told us that I would most likely be taking taxol with carboplatin (similar to cis-platinum) on the first treatment. It would be infused in an IV and I would have to take some other steroids and medicines to reduce the nausea and side effects. On the second or third day after treatment I would probably feel like I have the flu. The chemicals kill all fast growing cells (good and bad). So my bones will ache and 10 days after I will be anemic, the white and red blood cell count will be really low and my ability to clot (platelets) will be diminished. This is when I will be very susceptible to germs and should not be knowingly exposed to anyone with a cold, etc. About 10-15 days after treatment my hair will also fall out. (I guess I will wear a wig, scarf, hat, to protect my bare head from the sun. In anticipation of the whole hair loss thing, Ginger cut my hair short (like Julie's). It's not really me, but why not have a change and try a new do when I am going to lose it anyway!) After reading more info on the web, it looks as if the one year survival rate is around 80% with treatment and the five year survival rate after that is between 5-20%. We will know more about the specifics of treatment and survival outcomes after the meeting with Dr. Samir next week.

Remember as with any cancer, the survival rates are significantly dependent on the patient's positive attitude and the prayers of all who love and support them. I know that all of you have been praying for a speedy recovery and for me to whip this thing. I appreciate all of this. I have a very positive attitude and I am asking God for a miracle for me so that I can be around to see my grandchildren (God willing). I know I have a hard road ahead of me, too. But I know that you are all praying and supporting me which will help us along the way. I WANT TO BE HERE in 10, 20, 30 years. I think that God will grant me this miracle if we all pray together. Thanks for your prayers and support and understanding.

Chris

Sent: Wednesday, August 01, 2001 7:07 PM

Subject: We are moving camp

Family and Friends,

We are moving to Chuck Richter's farm tomorrow. He does not have email access. We will try to get info out ASAP Tomorrow, is the important Dr.s visit. We should learn much needed information about her cancer and stages. As of now, Chris will be treated here and then flown out to WV by plane for more Chemo treatments. We do not know when or anything will occur. You can reach us at (XXX) XXX-XXXX. Or snail mail at Chuck Richter, RR 3, Box 133, Colman, SD 57017. We should be back at Ginger's on Monday, unless Chris will be traveling to WV. I will drive back the truck with the kids. My mom will meet Chris at the airport. Wish us luck and keep praying.

Tom

Sent: Wednesday, August 08, 2001 7:57 AM

Subject: New stuff

Family and Friends,

New twist and turns in the Guetzloff saga. Chris has a referral to WV, but that scheduled appointment is not until August 16. I just called the Drs. office in WV and the nurse has potentially rescheduled a tentative appointment for Monday August 13th. If this holds true, Chris will be flying out tomorrow. Chris can't receive chemo yet, because she is not 100% healed from the surgery. She is definitely acting more normal and back to her true self. I'm going to leave Rock Rapids, IA today (we will have to keep my fingers crossed). I will stay at my sister's in Chicago. I will probably leave at 10:00 am. Hopefully, all this will be resolved soon.

Tom

Sent: Thursday, August 09, 2001 12:18 PM
Subject: Re: Chris

Family,

If you haven't already heard, Tom drove to Chicago yesterday and will drive back to WV today. Chris flew out from SF this morning and will arrive in WV around 2:30 p.m. Someone from Tom's work will pick her up at the airport.

As far as we know, the latest is that Chris is scheduled for a doctor's appt on Monday, and will hopefully start chemo soon (Wednesday at the earliest).

Her cold sore is almost gone, but she may be getting a cold.

Keep on a prayin'.

Ginger & Chad

(E-mail correspondence from Tom and Chris from the first chemotherapy treatment)

Date: Monday, August 13, 2001 4:05 PM

Subject: Chris Guetzloff's chemo treatment

Hi all,

I saw Dr. Schiano today and he said I am healing fine. (I still get a little tired in the afternoon.) Chemo will start on Thursday at 9:00 am (assuming my lab work comes back all fine) and last approximately 6 hours. He wants to use a higher dose of taxol and cis-platin instead of taxol and carboplatin to start out with. (Remember that Dr. Samir said that carboplatin and cis-platin are similar and chemically related. Carboplatin is a little harder on the bone marrow suppression, I guess.) He may change it after the first treatment depending on how the cancer responds to treatment. He examined me which he will do before each treatment. He said there are a few nodules at the present time on the colon area about 1 cm in size which he believes should respond to treatment. The treatments will be every three weeks. He said that days 7-14 (after each chemo) are the "low" in which I am most susceptible to infection. So I will be minimizing contact with infectious persons (ie. church, malls, shopping, games) during this time. I will probably be very tired and fatigued during the first ten days after chemo so I should not overdo it, and he said that I will definitely lose my hair.

So keep praying that the cancer responds to treatment and that it goes into remission. I will be keeping my head up so that I remain positive.

(For my family)

He seems to think that there is a genetic link (probably not the BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene attributed to breast cancer) and he noticed that each successive generation on the Luze family tree is getting the cancer at a younger age (which I noticed and pointed out). He says this could be due to dietary changes of the different generations (who knows???, but it is an interesting pattern).

Gotta go and rest,

Chris

P.S. For those of you who may not know and are being included on this email list, I had surgery (total hysterectomy) to remove ovarian cancer (Stage III) three weeks ago (July 20th).

Date: Thursday, August 16, 2001 7:36 PM

Subject: First Chemo

Family and Friends,

Chris is done with her first round of Chemo. She will give you more info. I think it went well but it took a long time. They had to slow it down because of typical type reactions (not a big deal). Once the medicine was administered slowly, everything went well. It took her about 8 and half hours for the administration of all of the drugs and saline solutions.

Tom

Date: Thursday, August 16, 2001 8:38 PM

Subject: First Chemo

Hi all,

I had my first chemo regimen today. They had to stick me four times before getting the vein so I will probably go into have surgery to put a port in that will last for a long, long, time.

Well anyway... I know that the pharmacist did not skim any taxol off my bag!!!! When I started getting the taxol, I got an initial shock (aka allergic reaction) and had to have it stopped for a bit. My face turned rose red, started sweating, and I could barely breath and all these little white lights came fluttering into my eyes. They had only infused 1 mL. Then I waited a half hour and they started it really slow 1 ml/hr, then 20 mL/hr, then slowly, slowly we reached 183 mL/hr for 295 mg in 0.9 NS solution (about 500 mL). So it took much longer than the anticipated 3 hours. The infused Benadryl and Zantac before the Taxol. Then they flushed me with a liter of saline with MgSO₄, KCl, and mannitol. The cisplatin (platinol) was then infused and then more saline. Then also gave me other antinausea stuff which I can't remember right now.

For those of you who are high risk for breast/ovarian (aka my family and relatives), you should go to an OB/GYN/ONC and demand that you have full check-ups twice a year and have them do a CA125 blood test at each visit. Do this now! (You won't need to do it if you're pregnant. Pregnancy and subsequent breastfeeding protects you from getting it then.) The CA125 level is sometimes correlated with the presence of cancer. The CA125 normal values should be around 1-15 (about - at least that is what the nurse said today so don't take my word on it). My last one was 250 and the one before surgery was probably in the 600s (not sure though).

I guess I should probably feel ok tonight and tomorrow (maybe some nausea) and then the next three days will probably be very challenging with pain and fatigue. That is when the taxol really kicks in. It is a lipophillic drug and is biphasic as it leaves the system whereas the cisplatin leaves more quickly and I believe is monophasic. I should lose my hair in several days.

Well for now I'll go and rest (I have a slight headache from this stressful day), God bless you all for your kind thoughts and prayers.

Chris

P.S. Feel free to forward this email to someone you know who may know me and that I haven't included due to losing touch, or lost emails, addresses, etc. Ask them to send me their email and I'll include them on the list. (Ron, that means Mike and Kathy Johnson, Brad and Kris Archer if you know where they are.)

For those who are new to the list, I have ovarian cancer Stage III and had a full debunking of the hysterectomy on July 20th in SD and my first chemo treatment was today.

Subject: Great News
Date: Wed, 05 Sep 2001

Hey all you guys,

WhooHooo! I saw the doctor today, got the lab work done yesterday and will get the next treatment tomorrow. The doctor examined me today and said that the 1 cm growths (nodules) on my colon had shrunk and are not as prominent. Then he was trying to find my lab work and when we were leaving I heard him say, "This can't be right!?" He had received my lab work... Then I thought, "Oh, no, it is really high." But then he proceeded to say that my CA125 number was 15 (actually 14.7, remember that my last CA125 number was 256 before my first treatment, over 600 before surgery - {1-10 or 15 is normal}). So the cancer has responded to the taxol and cis-platin. THIS IS AWESOME NEWS!!!! He also said that all my other lab work is good to go for the next treatment tomorrow. I should be having a total of 5-6 treatments.

So I want to thank all of you who have been praying for me and thinking of me. All of this positive energy is really making a difference! I feel like I am really going to kick this cancer's "bottom". Keep up the prayers, please. I can really use them. Thanks. (My miracle is happening!)

HAIR UPDATE:

• I have lost about three-quarters of my hair now. I still have a little bit in the back that you can see when I wear a hat. It is extremely thin.
• Thank you all who have given me hats. They are wonderful. I also heard a little rumor that someone sent an email or something around asking people to send me "weird" or outrageous hats. You don't have to send me anything! I have gotten some really cool and neat hats so far.
• Grandma sent me a hat that has beer cans in it. (Hamm's) Yeah!, but I
  can't drink beer now.
• Chris and Chuck sent me a leopard baseball cap.
• Ginger sent a POOH and SEL baseball cap.
• Char and Vic sent many cool hats and bandanas.
• Susan and Myron sent a pretty straw hat.
• Jan Luze sent two nice hats.
• Beverly Guetzloff bought two nice hats, scarves, and turbans.

Love you all,
Chris

Date: Wednesday, September 26, 2001 5:03 PM

Subject:

Hi all,

I went to the doctor today and the nodules were about the same if not a little smaller. He said they could also be scar tissue. My CA125 number went down again (now it is 4.5 down from 14.7). This is good. The normal range is 0-21. So it looks like everything is working. At this point he says I will get a total of 6 chemos. 2 down, 4 to go. My next chemo round is tomorrow. My lab work looks good. So back in the saddle again. But hey, I can rough it if the cancer is squashed.

So all is looking good.

Ginger and the kids (Angel and Hope) are having a good time here. Have put Ginger to work... painting several rooms. It is looking good.

Well, that's it for now. Take care.

Chris

Date: Wednesday, October 03, 2001 4:23 PM

\Subject: 3rd Chemo Update

Hey all,

I am just updating you all about the chemo this third time around. Doctor plans on 6 total chemo treatments. Three down, three to go. Whoo hoo!

My low should be coming soon. I feel pretty good so far, a little tired. Nothing too bad.

Ginger (my sister), Angel and Hope left on Monday. They really helped get a lot of projects done around the house (painting, wallpapering, etc) and made meals for us. Thank you so much.

HAIR UPDATE

• Amazingly, I still have the tufts of hair left from last chemo (a little more sparse, though). Enough to show when I wear a hat.

HAT UPDATE

• Shirley Richter - nice pink flower hat (Megan is always taking it from me to wear)
• Laura and Julie Richter - two scarves and a nice black hat
• Dan and Gail Luze Family - Angel T-shirt (stating "Expect A Miracle") with matching baseball hat with angel on it.
• Grandma Luze - a cute navy blue hat - one of my old favorites
• Dorothy Pomper - a really cute white hat with an angel pin and a styling plaid denim hat (Julie and Ginger almost stole it from me when they were here!)
• Diana and Joey Klein - a nice stylin' black hat and another cute hat
• Some friends at work with Susan Lang that I don't know their names - a cute knit hat (albeit too small - good first knitting job - maybe Megan can wear it) and a velour type navy blue hat

I hope I haven't forgotten anybody's hats this time. To everyone who has sent hat and head apparel, I appreciate them all. They are so cute and I wear them all the time.

Tom's mother, Beverly, is flying back now as I write this email. I hope she had a great time in

Aruba.

Love and prayers to all,

Chris

Date: Monday, October 15, 2001 8:35 AM

Subject: 4th Chemo is coming up

Family and Friends,

Chris is going to get her blood work done today. On Wed, she will visit the doctor for her check-up. On Thursday, Chris is scheduled to have her fourth chemo if all goes well. She is doing great and feeling great. She had her typical low days about the 6th day in the previous treatment but it went well.

Thanks for the thoughts and the prayers.

Tom

P.S. Chris still has some hair.

Date: Wednesday, October 17, 2001 7:41 PM

Subject: Good news again!

Hello family and friends,

Good news again! I had my doctor's appointment today and the small nodules on the colon that were there last time cannot be felt (remember he had said that they were either slightly smaller and/or the same size last time, and originally they were about 1 cm in size after surgery and before the first chemo). And the CA125# was even lower - 2.2 (down from 4.4 last time and down from 14.7 and 256 previously. [0-21 is the normal range for cancer free patients]). The doctor has only had one other patient with a lower CA125 number than me. So all those prayers are working. Thanks.

I start my 4th chemo (taxol and cisplatin) tomorrow and then only 2 left (it takes about 8 hours to infuse everything). My lab work looked good, too. I am feeling great. I am walking 2-3 miles a day during my good week and 1-2 miles during the first week of chemo and 0.5-1 mile during my "low" (about day 9-10 after chemo). I painted one room (back room of bathroom - the sewing room) on Monday (Bev helped, too).

HAIR UPDATE:

• Still have some hair. About 1/6 left. Enough to show when I wear hats. I probably won't lose all of it now, but who knows (and who cares if the cancer is killed!).

HAT UPDATE:

• Rita Majerle - knitted and sent a very nice knit hat with a cute color scheme

Thanks everyone for the prayers, cards, thoughts, etc. I know my miracle is happening each day. I wish all of you the best, too.

Chris

Date: Thursday, October 25, 2001 7:09 PM

Subject: Update

Hi all,

Just a note to let everyone know I am doing pretty good. My "low" should be hitting around tomorrow and Saturday. So far each low has been better than the last. Tom's mother, Bev, left for CT this morning and arrived there safely today. We really appreciate all the help she and all the family members and friends have done. We can't give enough thanks to everyone. But I sincerely hope all will know we appreciate the help that we have received.

The kids miss Grandma, but are looking forward to 'trick or treating' festivities next week. Megan has a Halloween party tomorrow and Jake's is on Tuesday. Megan and Jake will both have a soccer game this weekend (last one) and it is supposed to be cold (40s) here with a possibility of snow (we'll see about that). I won't be going to the games as I will be in my low and will not want to expose myself to the elements and get sick.

Today is a really windy day and all the leaves are finally blowing off the trees.

HAIR UPDATE:

• About the same

Love and prayers to all,

Chris

Sent: Monday, November 05, 2001 9:46 AM

Subject: Chemo #5

Family and Friends,

We are hoping that Chris can start her Chemo #5 this week (Thursday). She has a slight sniffle but hopefully that will not delay the Chemo. She is going to see the doctor on Wed. She has been feeling really good.

We are glad to hear that Charles III is doing well and Ginger had a fun B-day.

Thanks.

Tom

P.S. The family went to the WVSC football game (Bring a Kid to a Game Day) and the kids had a blast with all the activities.

Sent: Thursday, November 08, 2001 6:45 PM

Subject:

Hey everyone,

My CA125 number was 2.5. Good. Last time it was 2.2. Statistically insignificant. This is good.

The chemo went well. No problems. Only one left. YEAH!!!!!!

Chris

Sent: Tuesday, December 18, 2001 11:26 AM

Subject: Last Update

Hi all,

Well, I made it through the "low". I'm now back on the rebound and in a week or so I should be building up my immunity and hopefully regrowing some hair. As I reflect on the six chemos here are some of the things that changed in my life during the battle with cancer:

TOP TEN CHANGES IN MY LIFE

1. infused with a positive attitude from all my friends and family that I could beat this
2. lost 20 pounds from being in the hospital and from the ascites
3. received wonderful hats, scarves, gifts, meals, help, and prayers
4. lost most of the hair on my head (a few straggly strands remind me of what I used to have) and my eyebrows, eyelashes, etc.
5. was reminded of how precious life is
6. formed growth rings (like a tree) on my fingernails, one for each chemo
7. ringing in my ears and a little peripheral neuropathy (numbness in toes)
8. gained the 20 pounds I lost due to steroids (OK, the steroids didn't gain the weight, I did, but the steroids made my appetite strong, so strong that my will power was weak - at least that is what the doctor says. I guess it is better than losing 20 and going to the hospital. Now I have to gear up for the battle of the "bulge", which won't be easy with the holiday season quickly approaching. They say once the steroids are finished it will come right off. We'll see about that...)
9. realization that I am so blest to have family and friends who care about me and my family so much during this tough time
10. Thankful to be alive!

I probably won't be sending many emails to all of you on this list now that the battle has subsided. However, I'll keep you updated when I get checked and rechecked, etc. If you want to send me an email now and then, feel free to keep in touch.

HAT UPDATE:

• Denise Reedy - a very nice, warm light blue hat
• Betsy and Kristian Lehmkuhl - two beautiful, red, dressy scarves

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and wishing you all a very wonderful New Year!

Chris

Sent: Thursday, January 10, 2002 9:42 PM

Subject: Checkup after last chemo

Hi all,

The exam at the doctor's today went well. All looks good, but my lab work will come in a few days and I will be getting a CAT scan soon (tomorrow, most likely). I meet with the doctor again in six weeks. I'll let everyone know how the results go, but I assume they'll be fine. Hope everyone is enjoying the new year!

Chris

Sent: Thursday, March 07, 2002 6:24 PM

Subject: Checkup

Hi all,

I just had my checkup today at the doctor's. The lab work was great (CA125 was 0.8) and the exam fine. Now, I will be taking a quantum leap (as my doctor puts it) and begin being checked every three months. The next checkup is at the end of May.

HAIR UPDATE:

It is approximately one inch in length, thicker than it was, yet it is, unfortunately, not curly. Alas, maybe there will be a slight wave when it gets longer. It's almost to the point where I'll feel comfortable not wearing a hat.

Thanks to all of you for the much appreciated prayers/hats/food/cards, etc. I'm still open to accepting a few prayers here and there to keep this cancer away if you're still willing to say them. Thanks for thinking of me and feel free to drop me a line/email sometime to help keep me positive that I will beat this!

Sincerely grateful for a great checkup,

Chris

Attached: A recent mugshot of my short hair and steroid chipmunk cheeks/chin.

Sent: Thursday, May 16, 2002 3:17 PM

Subject: PET scan

Friends and family,

At this point of time I would like to update you all. Last week I thought I had a UTI and got it looked at. Unfortunately, it was not. Then I had a CAT scan and nothing was visible on it. I also had my blood-work for the CA125 # taken and it was elevated to 99 (0-20 is normal). This most likely means the cancer is back. I am scheduled to get a PET (positron emission tomography) on Monday at 10:00 am to determine the points of cancer growth and its metabolism. [PET uses radiolabelled nuclides to monitor various metabolic conditions and can be used to monitor the glucose uptake of cancer cells.] Therefore if there are areas, which are not visible on the CAT scan yet visible on the PET scan, we (the doctor, Tom, and I) may be able to formulate some kind of plan of attack and know the extent of the reoccurrence.

The appointment has been scheduled for 10:00 am Monday morning. (I know, I tried to get one for today or tomorrow, Monday was the earliest I could get. Therefore, I need (would like) everyone to pray that the cancer growth can be stopped and that I can shrink it using positive thinking techniques and visualization. The power of positive thinking can accomplish a lot.

We are praying that we are getting this soon enough to have a positive result. You know, there are people who have one reoccurrence and it never comes back. We (Tom and I) can do this. But we need your prayers again.

Thanks in advance for all your prayers. We'll get through this.

Love,

Chris (and Tom)

P.S. We'll keep you updated on the results as we get them.

P.P.S. Attached is what I look like now. The hair has come back in curly and thicker. I love it.

Sent: Monday, May 20, 2002 9:19 PM

Subject: PETs can

Hi all,

The PET (positron emission tomography) scan was conducted today. It measures the radioactivity of Fluorine-18 in a radiolabelled fluorodeoxyglucose molecule. Cancer cells metabolize glucose faster than normal cells. Apparently, the PET scan can detect cancer cell clusters the size of a grain of sand. [WOW!] The technician injected approximately 30 mL of the glucose into an IV. It was allowed to circulate for 35 minutes, then I was scanned for the next hour. It was a relatively harmless procedure. [Now I'm radioactive!! Should be deactivated pretty soon though.] The scan was conducted from my brain all the way down to my knees. It will be able to diagnose pretty much anywhere the cancer may have gone. It didn't hurt and it was kind of relaxing being in a straightjacket unable to move. Ha Ha.

I guess the PET instrument is a traveling instrument. It comes to Charleston every Mon/Tues of each week (or did she say every other week... I'm not sure). So I guess I got it scheduled as soon as I could.

The technician told me that the radiologist could read the scan today, write it up, and send (fax) it my doctor sometime soon. However, when we called over late this after noon, it still had not been sent.

Dr. Schiano will be in surgery tomorrow so I doubt we'll get the results tomorrow. It will likely be Wednesday or later and we'll email all of you when we get the results. Thanks for all the prayers. I could really feel them this weekend. They have really helped me stay calm and positive considering the probable results.

Chris (and Tom)

Sent: Wednesday, May 22, 2002 6:13 PM

Subject: PET

Friends and Family,

The PET scan did not find any cancer at all. This is whole data set is puzzling and a mystery. Chris is scheduled next week to see the doctor and she will get another CA 125 done then. So keep praying and hopefully the last CA 125 test had some type of cross contamination occurring giving a false reading.

Tom

Sent: Thursday, May 30, 2002 6:54 PM

Subject: Chris

Family and Friends,

I just got off from the phone with Chris and the cancer is back. The growths are approximately 1 inch in diameter and the doctor says that surgery is out of the question. We will let you know when the next treatment will start but it will probably start next week. Thanks for the previous and continual prayers.

Tom (and Chris)

Sent: Thursday, May 30, 2002 9:04 PM

Subject:

Family and Friends,

Tom emailed you all that the cancer is back. I guess the CAT scan and PET scan were inconclusive (not negative). But combining the physical exam (can't replace people yet!) with the results points to cancer. I'm not sure what the actual course and regimen of treatment will be. However, when we know we'll let everyone know. At this point in time I am trying my hardest to get into the best shape I can for the next round of chemotherapy. I walk at least 3 miles a day. I've lost 8 pounds since the last time I was at the doctor's. Everyone here says I look great. Hard to believe that it has reared it's ugly head again.

The chemotherapy may consist of carboplatin and taxol. Depends on how the cancer responds. The number of chemos would depend on how well it responds to treatment.

Only by the grace of God will I be able to fight this fight. I must believe that God wants me to live. Don't give up your faith in me or the Lord. Your prayers have not been said in vain. You must believe that. Keep believing in God. (and in me.) We will get through this again. I have two wonderful children and an awesome husband who are everything I have to live for! And I have wonderful family and friends who would give me the world if they could. I have not and will not give up fighting to live and make a difference in this world.

Keep the faith.

Chris (and Tom)

Sent: Tuesday, June 11, 2002 10:19 AM

Subject: Update for first chemo round 2

Family and Friends,

So far so good! This chemo has been even better than the first ones last year. I'm sure that one thing that helps is that I'm not healing from surgery and that I am basically healthy. I'm still walking 2-3 miles a day/lifting weights and eating healthily. So far I really haven't felt a nadir or "low" yet. Maybe if I don't think about it, I will be able to just fly right through it. Also, the peripheral neuropathy (tingling in extremities) has been much less subdued compared to the cis-platin. Nausea and GI-tract upset have been minimal. I'm only taking metaclopromide (GI-tract stimulation) and dexamethasone (steroids) to increase the solubility of the taxol. I am getting a few night sweats while sleeping (hopefully this means that the dead cancer cells are being flushed away!)

Keep praying that the cancer responds. We really appreciate all the prayers. I'll try to email again next week after the low and let everyone know how I'm doing!

Love and prayers to you all.

Chris, Tom, Megan and Jake

Sent: Monday, June 17, 2002 1:18 PM

Subject: Nadir

Family and Friends,

So far so good! If I've experienced my low on Friday/Saturday, then I'll be sailing through these chemos (assuming the cancer responds to this cocktail). On Friday I felt a little tired (not enough to stop me from going to the pool when a friend invited us). I know, I covered up so I wouldn't bake in the sun. [I'm supposed to stay out of the sun because of the carboplatin compound.] It was a cool day so it was perfect for me. On Saturday, I did lie down to rest a bit, but was too invigorated to sleep or take a nap. Both days I walked my 2 miles and felt fine. [I don't know if you remember last fall I could only walk about a 1/2 mile during my low and I was feeling worn out.] Kinda felt like a cold was coming on, but was better on Sunday. My back ached just a bit, but nothing I couldn't handle. All the symptoms were much less than last year so far. Obviously we're taking care not to get an infection by washing hands, etc on a regular basis.

I have been eating healthily and nibbling on healthy "cures". For example, I usually take some seaweed, flaxseed meal for the omega-3 and -6, a few nuts, and rosemary on a daily basis. I've been eating the apple seeds to get the B-17 and fresh carrot juice for my Vit A.

HAIR UPDATE:

• Still there. Last time it didn't fall out until day 17-21. So maybe this weekend. We'll see...

On the spiritual side... A student of mine from last spring has been regularly sending me Bible passages to read and words of wisdom to keep me inspired. I really appreciate them. It helps keep me focused when doubt crosses my mind. Obviously it is hard to remain positive everyday when you won't go into get your lab results until the next chemo. BTW, my blood-work will be drawn on Monday (24th) and my doctor's visit is the 26th and the next chemo on the 27th if all goes well.

The weather is nice here today. In fact, beautiful. Enjoy your day. I've already accomplished so much.

Love and prayers to all.

Chris (and Tom)

Sent: Thursday, June 27, 2002 6:47 PM

Subject: Chris

Family and Friends,

Chris’ CA-125 number is around 130. This is about a 50% decrease since the last chemo. However, Chris asked the chemo nurse, why the number was not much lower (it should have been 50 and down)? Well, I will put it mildly, Chris received a dose of reality about her current prognosis from the nurse. She was told that typically that for cancer reoccurrences that are quick, the prognosis typically is bleak. Chris is taking things very tough at the present moment (as you can imagine). I keep telling her that at least the cancer growth is down and the CA 125 went down. If reoccurrences will continue (and extremely likely to) to occur for most chemo patients, her CA-125 number will not get lower than a 50. I hope this is not the case. For those who remember about this particular chemo regimen she is on, she will basically have to isolate herself from big crowds, etc.. She will require some type of white cell booster that will range from $1500 to $3000 each treatment that we will have to pay 20% out of pocket (unless there is some divine intervention). She is totally drained emotionally at this present moment but tomorrow she should be much better. Keep praying and hopefully the typical prognosis is not hers.

Tom (and Chris)

Sent: Friday, June 28, 2002 7:56 PM

Subject: I feel better today.

Family and Friends,

I want to say, THANK YOU, for all your prayers thus far. You all know we have a tough row to hoe. BUT, we are strong and we will do this. In fact, I read an article that for individuals that relapse within 0-4 months after chemo, only 15% have a chance of the cancer responding to conventional treatment using platinum-based compound in which the cancer responded the first time, whereas those who relapse 5-12 months have a 20-30 % chance of the chemotherapy working. In this study all patients died, but their mean survival length was increased an average of 28 months.

NOW I do have hope that we can beat these odds. Your prayers have strengthened me. Already the cancer has responded so we must be thankful even though the CA125 number was not as low as we had hoped it would be -- but it IS lower. Tom was right that I was depressed yesterday. But I have been reinvigorated today that I CAN beat this. God has a reason for me going through this. And I must do my best and not give up hope. Please don't give up hope on us either. Betsy sent me a book about a woman with Stage IV breast cancer spread to the bone and even had a bone marrow transplant. She lived about 8 years after that. She also wrote the book on how she beat the cancer that long. I have begun to utilize many of her health tips to beat the cancer.

Please remember that it is good for us to know the odds. We are truly blessed knowing ahead of time that I could be called to die in the immediate future. In this we have a silver lining. No one knows the hour or the day we will be called. In fact, any one of us could be killed in a car accident today, tomorrow or soon, or have a heart attack and there are many other ways we could die. Knowing the odds ahead of time with cancer allows us reprioritize our lives and gives us time to prepare to live a life that is right and good. Taking time to smell the roses knowing it could be my last. Just think about all the people in the World Trade Center who did not know it was their time and their inability to prepare for death. We must treat this as a blessing. I am going to beat this but we must also be prepared for the worst. We should all live a life we would be proud of whether or not we know we are going to die tomorrow or the day after.

Now, we thank everyone for their prayers for us to beat this cancer. But I don't want you to forget that others have problems, too. Perhaps we have loved ones that are sick or family members that are in trouble. Remember to pray for each other. It is great that you all pray for us, but don't forget to pray for yourselves. Cancer is tough, but many of us have problems that seem too great to bear at times. Please remember to pray for yourselves, too. Don't be afraid to get yourself on a prayer chain. Prayer is scientific. One article wrote about how two sets of couples who were trying to achieve pregnancy by In vitro had prayers said for them from people in Canada, US, and Australia for one group and not the other. The couples who had been prayed for (unbeknownst to the doctors or the patients) had a two times better fertility rate. The rate was more than statistically relevant the article stated. So prayer does work.

We will beat this. I feel much more positive today. Yesterday was only a minor setback.

Love and prayers to all.

Chris (and Tom)

P.S. I am getting a Neulasta shot tomorrow (~$3000 for one shot). And it was covered by the insurance. We only had to pay a $25 copay. This shot will last the whole month. It usually brings the white blood count up by 4000-6000. Normal is 5000-10000. I might have some pain in the legs while it increases the rate of WBC. But the nurses do not want me to go into neutropenic shock if the nadir were to get too low. Last January (before this shot was out) they lost one lady due to neutropenic shock. They are adamant that I either get the Neulasta shot or if insurance wouldn't pay for it, then the nuepogen shots (which are given during the low for 5-10 days). Things are working out.

Sent: Monday, July 01, 2002 1:44 PM

Subject: Not too much hair left...

Hey all,

This is me with very little hair left now. I think I've lost more hair this time than last time. Just thought you'd like to see a shiny dome on this head of mine. Ha Ha. As you can see, I'm still alive and kicking.

Chris

Sent: Thursday, July 18, 2002 9:27 PM

Subject: Chemo/Party Update

First of all: Yesterday I had my blood drawn and my doctor's appointment. The doctor still could not feel anything which is good. However, the CA125 won't be in until Friday or Monday (maybe even Tuesday, they have to send it out to be tested).

After looking at the other blood-work my hematocrits are low (29.0 %) which qualifies me for procrit to stimulate the hematocrit and red blood cells. I was told I'll need one of these each week and have blood-work drawn each week. We probably won't see the effects of the procrit until 4-5 weeks. I will be getting the neulasta shot (for white blood cell stimulation - the neutrophils) again probably tomorrow. I had chemo today and they had to stick me two times to find the vein so the chemo is doing its works on my veins.

On July 13th we hosted a Celebrate Life Party and it was very fun for us. We invited neighbors, close friends and our families. My dad came on Saturday for a visit and stayed until Tuesday. It was very nice. Betsy visited and stayed from Friday to Sunday. I guess Betsy and Kris are moving at the end of July most likely to somewhere in the Midwest. I'm sure they'll let us know when they know. The party was fun and I really enjoyed having everyone over. Also the family (my immediate family) pitched in and bought me a "gift certificate" for a new pair of walking shoes. They figured I was about due for another pair. Well... I bought two pair. One was for cross-training (Fila) the other was for walking (Nike Air Essentials III). I think they are pretty good quality. I did not expect anything for this Celebrate Life Party. Some of my neighbors pitched in and bought three beautiful bushes for our yard. One was a crape myrtle and I can't remember the other names, but they are really nice. Thank you. Before the party the Kleins (Joey and Diana akaLuze) sent us a really neat BeLieVe sign that was hand painted. And Sue Lang sent a decorative angel for those who believe in the power of prayer.

I think Dad had a nice visit and we were sad to see him go. The grandkids and Grandpa and I played many games like Go Fish, dominoes, battleship. We took them swimming one afternoon, went to Blenko to see the worker make/blow glass. They were making cowboy hats when we watched it. Every time I go there, there is always something new to see. I know the grandkids miss Grandpa already.

Tom went on a Land-grant trip to WVU (another land-grant university in WV) on Sunday evening, Monday, Tuesday, and Wed. It was a good trip. He went to sessions on Acid Mine Drainage and Organic Farming. He has alot of info he would like to talk to Dad about especially about sheep farming (organic) and hormone and implant free cattle.

Tom has some other good news. On Friday, Hal Pinnick (the Chemistry Department Chair) was informed from the NSF that the grant that was submitted by Hal, Tom, James Mayhugh, and Don Anderson was funded. It was an MRI (major research instrumentation) grant. The grant was written to acquire an ICP (Inductively Coupled Plasma Instrument) that can simultaneously determine the concentrations of 70 or more elements per sample in about 15 minutes. They will be utilizing this instrumentation in research especially acid mine drainage and its remediation, contaminated soil sites, metal binding studies in remediation, service samples, with other applications that I'm probably forgetting. It will also be utilized in Tom's Instrumental Analysis course, maybe even some other courses for undergraduate students.

After Tom submitted the grant, I caught a few typos in the grant, and I said "over my dead body will you get that grant". So on Friday evening (after hearing the good news) when we were eating supper, Tom stated, "So when are you going to die?????" I was somewhat puzzled as to his expression, thinking he was referring to my cancer, but then I vaguely remembered my comment I stated about the grant last January. I had to eat a bit of crow... (In his defense, it was well-written, but I thought those typos would can it.) Tom and James have also been getting other grants - some small and one larger one (from NASA and Land-grant) over the past few years. He and James make a good pair.

Dr Schiano will be on vacation on the 8th of July, so chemo will be moved up to July 7th assuming all the blood-work is OK.

Love and prayers to all.

Chris (and Tom)

Sent: Wednesday, July 24, 2002 9:43 AM

Subject: from Chris and Tom

Hi all,

Just a few pictures to show my bald head. Yes, I broke down and shaved the top. I left a little in the back for my hats. But it is very thin. As you can see, my face is starting to get a bit steroidy! But not too bad yet. Megan was at summer academy that's why she didn't make it into the cam picture. Hope everyone is doing fine.

Tom is going to a one day work conference in DC tonight/tomorrow. He flies out late tonight and returns tomorrow night with some others from work.

So far the low (nadir) hasn't been too bad. Slight peripheral neuropathy in my feet and lips and I'm a little tired, but all in all not too bad.

Love and prayers to all.

Chris

Sent: Wednesday, August 07, 2002 5:47 PM

Subject:

Family and Friends,

Hi. I just had my fourth chemo today. All in all it went well. The CA125 number has come down to 53.6 down from 93. Almost half. That is good. A couple more chemos at this rate assuming it decreases by half again each time will be near the normal range in a few more. However, typically the number will bottom out and not continue to be cut in half. So we're praying that it does come down to the normal level (0-20).

My other lab work came down and my neutrophils were low, but the number was 1512 (they don't give chemo if it under 1500. It also said that I might have some bacteria in the urine. So it's being sent out for a culture and may need an antibiotic if there is a bacterial infection. Also my potassium level is low (3.2 (normal is 2.5-4.5)). So I need a prescription for that. I'll have to get my blood-work checked on Monday for this stuff to see if everything is fine.

Thank you for the prayers and thoughts.

Chris

Sent: Saturday, August 24, 2002 6:05 PM

Subject: Update

Family and Friends,

Just a note to say I'm doing fine. I haven't given an update for a while. Most of my family came to visit the second week in August and we visited Tom's Chicago side after that (Tom had a workshop there). It was really fun. School at State started this week and school for Megan and Jake will start on Monday. The class I was going to teach did not make so I will be doing some research for/with Tom at State when the kids are in school. I am looking forward to this. I haven't done research work in a long while.

My next doctor's appointment is Monday. Lab work will be taken that day, and the next chemo is scheduled for Wednesday, the 28th. This will be the fifth chemo. Remember, that I said that the doctor said, "Six treatments"? Well, because the CA125 number hasn't come down to normal, I'm sure that I won't be done after six. It says on my sheet for the prescriptions eight treatments, so most likely it will be eight, but I'm not really sure, maybe more. They say the numbers level off and never really reach normal so we'll have to see... I'm definitely sure it won't be just six. [I may never have hair again! Oh well, it is way overrated anyway.]

As for how I'm doing physically, great. I walk 2-3 miles each day, weightlift, and I even walk/run 1/2 mile every other day now (I'm really really slow though). When my family was out here, they all went running so it has inspired me to have a goal of being able to run 2-3 miles a day by next summer. I figure all the exercise has really helped me sail through the chemos. And if I have to continue living my life on chemo, I might as well have as much energy as possible to do the things I want to do. My brother-in-law, Chad said he didn't really see any difference in my abilities. However, they did not see me during the low. This past low was really easy compared to the third one. That one I was quite worn out. I think the Procrit (epogen) and Neulasta shots have really kicked in. (I give myself the shot each week.)

Mentally, I go up and down. Overall, I'm positive and believe that I will continue to live with this. Other days, I can only ask for faith that God wants me to live longer. I've been truly blessed with having an easy chemo life. I'm also blessed I can do what I need to do for my family as wife and mother. I pray I can continue to do this for a long time. I know that everyone's prayers have helped me stay strong and kept chemo easy for me.

I know so many have prayed for me. Thank you, but remember to pray for yourselves, too.

Chris

Sent: Wednesday, August 28, 2002 2:01 PM

Subject: CA-125

Family and Friends.

The CA-125 is 17.26. Yippee!!! More to come.

Tom (and Chris)

Sent: Wednesday, August 28, 2002 5:04 PM

Subject: Good news

Hi Family and Friends,

Today was a wonderful day, yet filled with great anxiety. I remarked to Tom during our walk that I was very nervous. [Last night during my prayer session I had a hard time wondering what the CA125 number would be. I was sure it was going to go up this time. But all I asked God was for continuous blessings to be strong, positive and healthy. I did not ask for the CA125 number to be in the normal range this time - that would be too much to ask for!] So I took the ativan before we left that is supposed to calm my nerves (it has since each chemo). However, after the benedryl had been infused this time, I started to have problems. My legs were getting tight (muscles) and so were my arms, then my neck. My heart started racing. I thought I was having an allergic reaction. They checked my blood pressure (which was fine), but my heart was racing (145-150) bpm and I was just laying in the chair. My heart would flutter and skip beats. By this time I was really nervous. I started doing the deep breathing exercizes, but it was only maintaining the condition. Then my chest was beginning to get tight. They stopped all flushing and watched me for half-an hour. Everything was numb, tight, with lots of pressure. (no heart pain though). They even had the doctor come down to look at me. He thought it was a panic attack (my first real panic attack) and to prescribe another ativan. Amazingly, about 5 minutes after they gave me the ativan, all the symptoms had been alleviated. Very nerve wracking! Took a whole hour to calm down. But I got though it. I felt like I was drunk after. But I do know the incidence really scared Tom when he heard about it at work. Tom could take a few prayers too to stay strong. I know this is stressful for him, too. He's been very good to me, but I do see the stress this situation causes in all of us.

The good news, the CA125 number has come down to 17.5 from 53.6 last time (0-20 is normal). I can't really believe it. I said to the nurse, it must be a typo or some other person's vial. The last one was 53.6 and they have been only decreasing about a third each time (not really half). [I also talked to a lady who is on her second relapse and her numbers have been going up, up, up (300-600-800). Not good.] I'm not sure what really did it on this chemo. Maybe it was all the family coming out to visit in August. Maybe it was going to Chicago to visit family there. Maybe it was the transmission going out on the van?? Ha Ha. Maybe it was the prayer of Jabez. Maybe it was because I didn't ask GOD to be healed this time and thanked him for his blessings instead. Maybe it was the weekly water/coffee enemas and monthly gallbladder/liver flushes. Maybe it's the exercising. Maybe it's all YOUR prayers. Maybe I just don't know. Maybe it's all of it. And maybe it's a miracle. All I can say is Praise the Lord! But for this to be truly a cure/remission, a lot of more little miracles will need to continue to happen. I know I have many, many people who have been praying for me. The prayers have been working. They are all special to me. But don't forget to pray for each other. We ALL NEED prayers.

On Monday's doctor's visit, it looks like there will 8 or 10 treatments total. I just finished five. With this lower number maybe it will be 8 if it keeps going down. He wanted to play it by ear.

Love and prayers to all.

Chris (and Tom)

P.S. Jake said he didn't want to go to school tomorrow. I wonder what happened. We couldn't get anything from talking to him on why he wouldn't want to go. Ann, did you see him on Wednesday, and if so, do you have any ideas why?

Sent: Wednesday, September 18, 2002 2:03 PM

Subject: CA-125

Family and Friends,

Chris’ CA-125 number is a 6.0 this reading. I do not want to steal her thunder but this is really good. But she has one or two chemos left. The decision to have one or two chemos will be a difficult one but Chris will elaborate in a later email message.

Tom (and Chris)

Sent: Monday, September 23, 2002 1:43 PM

Subject: 7 or 8???

Hi all,

As you know, the CA125 number has come down to 6.0 after 5 treatments. I assume the sixth and seventh treatments will also be as low, which is great. As you remember, the nurse said that it does not typically come down and if it does, it levels off. Therefore, we must say a big thank you to all of you for all the prayers. They are obviously working. Now for the nitty gritty. The doctor thinks that I could be finished with seven treatments (two past no detection). However, I asked him about taking one more for good measure (number 8) assuming I can handle it. He said he could be talked into it. One of the nurses seems to think it won't matter for the prognosis - which is - there will be future relapses. And that I should just think about extending my life as much as possible. But as you know, we don't know God's will and so far, as Tom says, I am a freak (in a good way with the numbers). I have been doing well so far and I assume because of your prayers, God's will is for me to continue fighting this and to not give up nor believe that I can't do this. I have contacted various research doctors lately and have received no advise as to the number I should have. As you may or may not know, chemotherapy is toxic. It kills good and bad, it is indiscriminate. It also has a toxicity in the body. After a point, it can cause cancer, too. So it is a fine line between killing the bad and killing the good cells. So one must also remember it has side effects. I will definitely be run down in the immune system after chemo. How long the bone marrow rejuvenates itself is not entirely known. I do know that after the first chemo regimen, my red blood cell count had not come back to normal yet (4-5 months after chemo). I am getting the epogen (procrit) shot to bump up the RBC count during chemo, but I'm not sure how long that will last (i.e. insurance and medical protocol).

I plan on trying to bump up the immune system naturally, but will it be enough to keep the cancer at bay for good? I don't know. Should I stop at 7 chemos or 8? I don't know that either. If I feel well enough, I might be inclined to take another chemo (#8) for good measure. The last treatment (assuming I would stay on track) would be Oct 30th. (the day before mom died on Oct 31st). I don't know if this is a sign to do #8, but it may be. What I would like all of you (especially those of you who have a direct line with God!) to ask him what we should do. I know faith is important and hopefully it is your faith in me that will help us decide what to do. Even though chemo has been relatively easy, I don't want to do it again (IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!).

Hopefully someone of you or many of you will be able to help us in this decision. If I knew for sure that if I did the eighth chemo and that it would never come back, I'd do it in a heartbeat! But we all know, that we don't know the future and nothing is certain - except God's love for us. Thanks for the thoughts and prayers.

Love and prayers to all.

Chris (and Tom)

Sent: Monday, October 07, 2002 3:30 PM

Subject: The number is seven.

Friends and Family,

The doctor stated that we will stop at seventh chemo instead of the eighth treatment. The cancer growth rate at this stage is slower than normal fast growing cells and the extra chemo would do more harm than good. Thanks for the prayers and advice. We are comfortable letting it be in God's hands.

Tom (and Chris)

Sent: Tuesday, October 08, 2002 4:55 PM

Subject: #7 postponed 'til later date

Family and Friends,

My lab work came back and my neutrophils are at 800. I need to be at or above 1500 to get chemo. So chemo is not on for tomorrow. Good news though, my CA125 was 3.5 (or 3.2), down from 6.0. I'll let everyone know when it will be. I'm getting the lab work taken again tomorrow. Hopefully I can get this last one taken pretty soon.

Chris

Sent: Thursday, October 10, 2002 8:13 AM

Subject: Game on... wait... GAME OFF!

Hi all,

Now hear what has happened. The results of my Wednesday blood-work taken came back early this morning and I got a call at about 6:45 am that I couldn't have chemo today. WHAT?? (Total disbelief on my part!) Yesterday I had my blood-work taken and the lab results from Monday were calculated incorrectly and just barely OK to do chemo at 1526, but the results of Wednesday's lab work say that my WBC is just over 600 (needs to be greater than 1500). I asked the nurse, "What would cause this to happen?" She said maybe some just died and new ones haven't been synthesized yet. She didn't know and said sometimes it does that. I don't know if this explanation is plausible. (Anyone out there have any better ideas?) My nurse is going to talk with the doctor, but that may take a while. He is always so busy. In my mind it could be a lab error. Maybe it's not. I don't understand it. I'm not sure what is going on with me or the lab results, but the final result is - I can't have chemo today. So I will get the blood-work taken on Monday again and assuming it's ok then, I'll have it on Tuesday (possibly even Wednesday). However, it will not be at my regular infusion center because my doctor will be out of town next week and they have to have a doctor present during infusion. So it will be at the hospital's infusion center assuming it happens next week.

All that has happened this week is peculiar to me. But I am trying to trust God that this postponement is in his plan. But we'll never know for sure. Sorry for changing the story so many times this week, but it has been beyond my control and I'm trying my best to keep all informed.

Trying to have faith that this is for the best,

Chris

Sent: Thursday, October 10, 2002 7:39 PM

Subject: And the saga continues...

Hi all again,

Well, the nurse got to talk to the doctor today and he wants me to get my blood-work taken again on Monday. I asked them if they thought the lab results could be wrong. They didn't think so. [I don't know if anyone remembers back in May when the CA125 was 99 and the CT and Pet scans were inconclusive that we were thinking there a lab mistake.] It may be a lab mess up but we just don't know. We'll know if the numbers are up on Monday. The number for the WBC yesterday was actually 670 not 600. I talked to a nurse (not a chemo nurse though) and she thought that I could be getting an infection when it first comes on and this is when the WBC count goes down in response to "gobbling" up and fighting the infection because they die when they start fighting. Then the body will respond by making more of them soon. And then you get rid of the dead WBC by excreting them in the mucous and phlegm, etc.

I did have the start of just a little bit of mucous from my nose today and just a little when I coughed, but I don't feel too bad. Jake does have a cough so it may be that I may be catching that. I suppose there are few other things it could be. Like the bone marrow is slowing down in producing more WBC after the neulasta shot has worn off. But my nurse friend said, "Don't worry."

On Monday if the lab results show the WBC is still low, they'll start me on some Nupagen shots to increase its production. As I said earlier, my doctor will be out of town (until the 22nd). Unfortunately, my doctor does not want me to have chemo at the other center. He was adamant about this. He believes that with such a low CA125 (3.4) and this being the last chemo it won't make any difference to wait until the 23rd. Tom once postulated this may be good to have the last chemo at a different time to change the schedule so that we attack any cancer that may not respond to the regular 3 week schedule. I'm not sure if this is plausible, but it may be. If that were true and because we're not having 8 chemos (which is what we were leaning toward) only 7, this may give us the best case scenario. If I were to have it on the 23rd then the low would be on the 31st of October (about). We're not happy about waiting, but we're also trying to trust this is happening for a reason. We hope so.

Thanks for all the emails today. I may not get a chance to respond to all of you, but know we are thankful for all the thoughts and prayers.

Chris (and Tom)

Sent: Tuesday, October 15, 2002 1:32 PM

Subject: Still a little low...

Hi all,

Well I had the blood-work taken yesterday and the lab results came in. I'm on the rebound - 1160 - but still not high enough for chemo (needs to be at 1500 for chemo), but they didn't think I needed the Nupagen shot to bump up production. If you remember the WBC last Monday was miscalculated to be 800 when it was 1526, then the results from last Wednesday's draw was 670. So apparently, the lab results from last Wednesday were not in error. They'll have me take it again on Monday before chemo on the 23rd to make sure it is up.

Maybe the mistake the nurse made from the Monday's blood-work was meant to be. If I had had that chemo with the number being so long it probably could have been possible that I may have gone into neutropenic shock (which you can die from). I did notice that on Saturday my lymph nodes were swollen and that I was quite tired that evening into Sunday. Now my lymph nodes aren't swollen. I still feel a bit tired but am improving. Maybe I should be thankful that the nurse made the miscalculation in the first place.

On another matter, our closest neighbor had a break in last night. Apparently an intruder got into his garage at around 3 am (about 20 ft from our house) and stole his garage door opener (he opened and closed the garage door, which he probably didn't mean to do). This alerted our neighbor and he looked out the window and saw him standing outside the garage door. Our neighbor sneaked down and chased after him. The intruder dropped a very sharp knife in our front yard as he was running away from our neighbor. Our neighbor reported it to the police, but it is very scary that such a thing has happened to them. With the sniper shootings and all, it sure doesn't feel like we are that safe anymore.

If you could, say a prayer for those people and their families who have been killed and robbed.

Thanks.

Chris (and Tom)

Sent: Wednesday, October 23, 2002 8:46 AM

Subject:

Hi all,

Got the results of the blood draw on Tuesday and the numbers are good for this last chemo. Since I was on Neupogen shots the earliest I could get chemo is Thursday. So tomorrow (Thursday) it is!

Chris

Sent: Thursday, October 24, 2002 8:18 PM

Subject: thirteenth chemo

Family and Friends,

We will find out if the thirteenth chemo's is the charm. Chris just finished her last chemo forever (we hope) today. She is very upbeat at this moment and is out at a food tasting party. Thanks for the prayers and keep in touch.

Tom (and Chris)

Sent: Friday, November 08, 2002 12:00 PM

Subject: Over the low, slowly going back up...

Hi all,

Just a note to say hi and I'm doing pretty good. This last chemo has been much rougher on me than the others. I was really tired and didn't do much this past week during the low. I'm now starting to get stronger and am able to do my walks and work around the house a bit. But it is still a bit slower going than I'm used to. I guess there's a reason why you don't continue doing chemos past a certain point. The chemicals just build up and your body needs to finally take a rest. It'll probably take a few months for me to feel like I have my energy back. My next doctor's appointment is the 18th. Then after that I'll be getting a CAT scan sometime and getting my CA125 checked each month with doctor's visits every two months until (assuming) we pass the critical points (probably six months to a year).

Yes, it's a bit scary wondering if and when the cancer will come back. I know that I must be positive and trust that it won't. Easier said than done. So I'm setting a goal for myself of just getting through the next week and then the next, and then the next... I'm trying harder to swallow smaller bites of hope and trust (and remission) to get through this next year, and then the next... (If it comes back deal with it then. And not worry about it now.) As my organic professor said, "You can't eat a whole cake at once" nor learn organic the night before the test and expect to remember it for the next test. And I think this also applies to life. Many of us have the long term goal of doing something good and important in life, be it in our careers, as parents, volunteers, etc but we don't get there in one day. It is a continual process that is on going, usually in a steady state (sometimes in flux by the things that happen or we chose to do), but then we return to that steady state. And to help me return to this steady state I will be attending the Cancer Support Group in our area. They also gave me information on Relay for Life and we're looking forward to what that entails.

Tom has been so good to me and the kids during this chemo. And I must say a huge "thank you" to each and every one of you for your prayers, thoughts, positivity, and help. They are truly appreciated. I feel so blessed to have such a caring, wonderful network of family, friends, colleagues, and community.

Thank you again for everything.

Love and prayers to all.

Chris (and Tom)

Sent: Tuesday, November 19, 2002 9:53 PM

Subject: Hi.

Hi all,

Yesterday I had my doctor's visit and the CA125 was 2.4 (down from 3.4) for my last chemo visit. I will be getting a CT scan (CAT scan to some) on Thursday morning to see if there is any residual tumor remaining. I will be having the CA125 checked each month and get my checkup every two months for awhile. (Next appt is January 15th).

As for us, we're all on antibiotics for the ugly Strept throat has reared its head in this household. Jake and I are also getting a cold (I think) because now our noses are a bit runny and my eyes a bit watery. I'm definitely weaker and walking has been slower. Today I slept a bit late. It seems like I have two or three fairly good days (physically) and then I have a day where all I want to do is rest (which I have been doing).

Mentally, I've been getting more and more positive. A couple of weeks ago, I was quite anxious and fearful of the future. I've been reading anything I can get my hands on to help me become mentally stronger (I'm reading "The Power of Positive Thinking" by Norman Vincent Peale. During this chemo, many people have been reminding me to have faith, but I've asked some, "How do you increase your faith?" This book tackles that task for me.). The hard part of the journey will be this upcoming year. I've changed much in my life (diet, hopefully attitude and faith), but will it be enough for extended remission? Anywhich way I've been given more time on this earth as the cancer responded this time so I must be thankful.

I've also signed on with a web site for ovarian cancer survivors and their newsletter gave a whole list of ovarian cancer survivors for those diagnosed in the month of June. It gave me hope because there were people listed on there having lived quite a while since diagnosis. One woman had even lived 21 years after diagnosis (not sure of her Stage, etc,). So just knowing that others have done it, makes me have hope that maybe it is God's will for me to live that long, too. And we must remember that new advances in treatment and detection are continually being discovered.

Thank you for all the prayers, positivity, and thoughts. They are all appreciated. We wish you a very wonderful Thanksgiving. We have much for which to be thankful.

Love and prayers to all.

Chris (and Tom)

Sent: Tuesday, December 10, 2002 4:42 PM

Subject: Hello.

Hi all,

I will be getting my blood-work drawn sometime next week and my next doctor's appt is on Jan 15th. The CT came back normal for no cancer. However, it detected a small gallstone. I had an ultrasound of the gallbladder on Monday and am awaiting the results. I'll keep you abreast of the situation. I also have a small lump in the breast of which the CT did not reveal any cancer (density was not typical of cancer I guess). But I'll be undergoing a follow-up mammogram sometime in the future.

Right now, I feel quite tired. I have a cold sore under my nose and I am feeling quite tired during the day. Last week I felt quite good and was walking my 2 miles almost every day. Yesterday I did not walk and today I just walked one mile. Even after walking I was still tired so I slept most of the day today. I suppose the cold sore is indicative to having a cold or that I am run down. I don't get them very often (usually when I have a cold or am stressed/run down). The last time I had one was right before the first chemo regimen in SD. I've been reading the book, "The Amazing Results of Positive Thinking" by Norman Vincent Peale and it is further info on how to remain positive and to improve your life, health, attitude, etc. I think I'll feel better tomorrow. I must think positive. Any prayers or thoughts to help regain my energy would be gladly accepted.

Others that could use a few prayers right now include, Jake (our son), and one of my best friend's (Char Callahan Raley) daughters. Let me expound. Jake had a rough week last week. As you know he has autism and he has been attending our home Kindergarten without an aide. He's been improving and doing fairly well. However, last Monday he pounded (I mean pounded) his sister on the bus, then hit a girl at school, and hit his friend, Andrew, later that afternoon. He's been having outbursts and screaming fits in school this week and last. I'm not exactly sure what to do to help him. We've been doing some OT which seems to help, but he's still having outbursts. So any prayers leading us (and/or him) on the correct path would be great. Also, Char and Vic's daughter, Alicia, has had so many problems right from the beginning. Right now as I write this email they are/were in Omaha trying to figure out why she is aspirating into her lungs when she drinks fluids. Alicia is three, has had surgery for a cleft palate as a baby, a fundolipcation (not sure of spelling there), a stomach feeding tube, and many other little problems. She was born on the same day as Char and my niece, Hope (June 18th). Because of all these problems she has some trouble speaking. Char and Vic are such good parents, but I think they also need a few prayers to guide them on the right path.

Since I've been feeling a bit slow, I am going to forewarn you that I don't think I'll be sending out greeting cards this year. So if you're on our list, please don't be offended. But we would love to send you email thoughts for a blessed Christmas and a Happy New Year. Please know we haven't forgotten you and your families.

We will be going to SD on Dec 28th - Jan1st. Because time will be short, we are thinking of a general get together (for those in SD/IA) maybe at Ginger and Chad's (my sister and brother-in-law's house) in Rock Rapids, IA maybe on New Year's Eve (~3-6ish). This is tentative and we'd love to hear from you if you'd be willing to visit us that way. There is no way we will be able to drive all over the place visiting everyone (i.e. Brookings, Tabor, Yankton, Sioux Falls, etc). After we know who is interested we may be able to make more definite plans. So let us know if you will be around then and if you might be able to attend.

Sorry so long. We wish you all the very best during these holidays. It is not meant to be so hectic. Take some time out to relax and really enjoy them.

Love and prayers to all.

Chris (and Tom)

Sent: Sunday, December 15, 2002 2:58 PM

Subject: Chris #3

Family and Friends,

We took Chris to the hospital (got home around 5:00ish) and she had some blood work done. Some things were up and down on her report (pretty normal for her) but the doctor might prescribe a nuelasta shot (we will need to get it from the pharmacist if prescribed). But her temp got up to 100.3 at the hospital. So she is sick but the good thing it is not nuprogenic shock. Thanks for the prayers.

Tom

Sent: Monday, December 16, 2002 1:03 PM

Subject: Somewhat better.

Hi all,

Well, I've finally made it from the bed to the computer. Yeah! I still have a slight fever in the day. Seems to go away at night. Been keeping it in check with cold/flu medicine. Today, I feel like I am more mentally awake. Saturday, my whole body was "burning up". Then Sunday morning, the fever was down, then it came up again, higher yet (even with fever reducing medicine), so we went into the hospital lab to get my blood-work drawn. The WBC was normal, the RBC was a bit low, so I guess the immune system isn't shot. Yeah! Pulled Tom out of the graduation ceremony (sorry Hal/Kathy and those graduating!), cause the temp was rising. Felt pretty scared when it kept going up until we got done with the lab draw. Today, still have a slight fever and some intestinal cramping so I suppose it is a viral thing. Unfortunately, Jake had a 101 temp last night. Took him in today and he has Strept throat again! Boy, I told the nurse that we must be living in a "pig sty" cause we just can't knock this awful Strept strain. Now we've all had it twice except for Tom. I must think positive that none of the rest of us will get it again. I've been taking Vitamin C, breakfast drinks, fluids, and getting rest.

All in all this sickness seems to be as bad (if not worse) than those bad days during chemo lows! I guess it is a reminder to let us know how good we have it when we're feeling well.

Thanks for the prayers and emails. We shall keep on fighting!

Chris

Sent: Saturday, December 21, 2002 4:20 PM

Subject: Chris #3

Family and Friends,

Chris seems to be getting better. She seems to move around for a couple hours or two now before she needs to rest. She still has a slight fever from time to time. She is on some antibiotics and is not doing arrends. She is trying to avoid crowds. She is definitely perking up. Hopefully we will see some of you when we are out in the Dakota Territories. Thanks.

Tom

Sent: Monday, December 23, 2002 8:05 PM

Subject: SD/IA Trip Itinerary for Guetzloffs

Hi all,

Regarding our trip to SD, this is what we know so far. We fly out on Saturday and arrive in Sioux Falls airport around 9:30 pm. Dad (or someone there) will pick us up and we'll head out to the farm. I think we'll be staying there on Saturday, Sunday, and Monday nights. Monday is (I believe) when we'll have our get together for the immediate family (i.e. brothers/sisters). Not sure if it is only the afternoon and/or evening. We'll probably head to Ginger and Chad's (sister's) in Rock Rapids, IA Tuesday morning. I think we'll have a New Year's Eve get together for friends who are willing to drive to see us there (maybe 3-6/7ish PM). I think we'll be staying there that evening and they'll take us to the airport on the 1st later in the afternoon. Like I said before, we probably won't be able to really travel so if you can travel to see us we would really appreciate it. Obviously we would like to see everyone, but that is not realistically possible. Please give us a call while we're out there at Dad's or Ginger's to see if there is a time you can visit other than at Ginger's on New Year's Eve.

Hope to see you then.

Love, Chris (and Tom)

P.S. Of course, EVERYTHING is tentative according to the WEATHER! Good old South Dakota, the land of infinite variety (and weather).

From: Chad & Ginger Rasmussen

Sent: Tuesday, December 24, 2002 7:26 AM

Subject: Re: SD/IA Trip Itinerary for Guetzloffs

Hello,

As you can see Chris is setting her plans in place for their stay in South Dakota next week. Our plans for the SUPRISE PARTY are still on, so if Chris contacts you with her plans make sure to play along. Tom and all of us are very excited about the party and hope that everyone can make it. We will be meeting in the multi-purpose room of the St. Michaels Church/School in Sioux Falls. The best way to enter the building is to park by the playground equipment and enter through the door just North of there. If you have any questions I will do my best to answer them.

Thanks,

Ginger (Chris' sister)

Sent: Thursday, December 26, 2002 1:11 PM

Subject: CA125#

Hi all,

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all of you! Just got my CA125 number back. It is up from 1.8 to 11.8. It was taken last Sunday when I went to the hospital for blood-work. This past Friday I have begun feeling a bit tender in the lower abdomen area but it is a bit better now (not sure of relevance yet). Kind of like the tenderness before my relapse was diagnosed and I thought I had a urinary tract infection. I know that 11.8 is still within the normal range (0-20), but it is up and my immune system was fighting off that virus/strept last week (when I basically felt like was going to die!). In addition, I've been tired/run down so now is the time that will be telling on whether or not my immune system can kick in and stop the number from going up further. [When the number goes up it means that the cancer cells are producing more cancerous proteins which measures the cancer growth. However, you always have some cancer cells in your body and usually your immune system recognizes them and "gobbles" them up.] This is where the impetus of remission is crucial. Now is the time for faith, hope, and prayers that my immune system (blessed by God's abundant grace) can and will be "kickstarted" to recognize and destroy those cancerous cells before they get out of control. I guess what I'm really asking is for more prayers (and positivity) to keep me and my immune system on the straight and narrow!

The theme of this chemo regimen has been faith followed by rest. I am resting now and praying that the immune system is being healed. The rest is up to our faith in God. We've been blessed so abundantly with all your prayers, faith, and love. We pray that you, too, will be blessed ever so more abundantly during this coming year.

Love and prayers,

Chris (and Tom)

Hebrews 11:1. Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

Sent: Wednesday, January 08, 2003 4:44 PM

Subject: Fw: Short version

Hi everyone.

Just a "heads up" to let you know this email will be a long one... So if you're pressed for time (or just don't like my emails -- or the "Family Circus" cartoon strip [Inside joke]) here's the short version (as per request):

Short version:

• Had a great Christmas (basically perfect).
• Had a great trip to SD to visit friends and family.
• Had the most outstanding party!!!! It was a total surprise to me. After getting over the initial shock, I felt like I was on cloud nine! [Thanks especially to my husband, Tom, and family/friends for putting on an awesome spread and singing/reading/slide program. Thanks, Marie, for breaking into my house to delete emails that would have ruined the surprise. If you want to know more about that see the long version below...]. Even college friends/roommates and high school classmates attended the festivities. It was great to see everyone!
• Next appointment is Jan 15, getting blood-work taken probably on Friday, the 10th (so a short prayer is requested that the CA125 number stays low or is lower than the previous one - (11.8 taken on December 15)[0-20 is normal]). Keep praying that my immune system is healed and recognizes these remaining cancer cells. I have faith that it is being healed with all your prayers. Thanks for all your prayers, love, positivity, and support. They have truly strengthened me and my family.

Now for the long version:

I’m too tired to send it now. Will send it later.

love,

Chris

Sent: Wednesday, January 15, 2003 4:46 AM

Subject: Judgement Day

Family,

Today is judgement day as in the movie Terminator II. As in that movie, things were in a state of flux and everything needs to work it self out. We expect to meet with the doctor @ 4:45 PM EST. For those who can remember, this doctor is habitually late so we actually might get in at 6:00 EST. So we will try to get the email out as fast as we can and you might want to start checking for it about 7:00 CST. If the diagnosis went well, we are thinking about celebrating and going to dinner. Chris’ preliminary blood results look good but the CA-125 was not available at that time (it is in the process of being run). I feel really good about this visit but as some of you might know or have speculated, I'm definitely anxious about the test results. Thanks for the prayers and continued support.

Tom

Sent: Wednesday, January 15, 2003 4:30 PM

Subject: CA125# is 130!

Hi everyone,

Not so good news! The CA125# is 130 something (normal is 0-20). Last time (last month) it was 11.8. I am falling apart. I need prayers. I have to take the blood-work again tomorrow. He did not feel anything during the rectal exam, but the cancer could be elsewhere OR MAYBE I could be so lucky as to win the lottery tomorrow and that the lab number is a fluke, but in reality I think the tenderness in the abdomen I've been feeling is probably the cancer cells (just smaller and spread out alot). I'm an emotional wreck. Tom has been so good to me. I guess God's answering at least one of my prayers. If I am to go, I hope it is quick so it is not so hard on the family. You have all prayed so much for me. It seems like all your prayers get answered. So if you're praying tonight, just ask for God to hold me so I can finish this journey with a peaceful mind and fight to be here as long as I'm able and not be a burden to the kids and Tom.

So after I repeat the test tomorrow, (probably get the next results on Monday). Then it'll be a CT scan/PET scan to see where it is at and then we'll decide if it is even worth doing chemo. By the time chemo would be rolling around (with that growth rate) the CA125# will be so high (probably about 1000).

I'm crying as I write this. I really need your prayers for me to be able to at least be a "sane" person while dealing with this trial.

Love and prayers to you all.

Chris

Sent: Thursday, January 16, 2003 6:33 AM

Subject: Need sleep.

Ok,

Enough of the "pity pot". Chris is not done fighting yet. I don't know if many of you know about St. Michael the Archangel (in Catholic tradition). He is God's right hand Angel (warrior) for battling Satan in this world. On Monday, something told me to pray to St. Michael to help me win this fight against the cancer. So Betsy, Ginger, and others have started the novena to St. Michael. However, me thinks that St. Michael was diverted from my case yesterday for more pressing matters - like making sure the Bubonic plague was not in terrorist's hands! So maybe today he will assist God in helping me with my faith that I can beat this cancer again forever.

Where there is life, there is always hope!

Love to all. Things will work out one way or another. It is such a beautiful day today. AND I AM 34!!!!!!!! WhoHoo!!!! I love it.

Love,

Chris

P.S. I could use some prayers for a good night's sleep. Haven't had many lately!

Sent: Thursday, January 16, 2003 3:05 PM

Subject: PRAYER REQUEST

Hi all,

SHORT VERSION: PRAY, PRAY, PRAY, PRAY, PRAY, PRAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LONG VERSION: Ok, I know in that last email I was a bit overwhelmed. Scared of this fast growing cancer... But, there are several key people who have a direct line with God and have said that everything is going to be OK. What this means, I'm not sure. But, I do know that when everyone of you has prayed for me, God has listened. It was very unlikely that the CA125# number would come down the second time -- but it did! Because of YOUR prayers. You must realize this. I was so enthralled with the surprise "Celebrating Life" party in SD (for those of you who couldn't attend ours last July). It was awesome. There are really no words to describe it. It was so wonderful. I could feel God's love so abundantly. And I know many of you were not even there but you sent your love and positivity to that party.

Ok, here's the deal. I'm willing to keep on fighting if you're willing to keep on praying. Pray especially for my faith to be increased so that I know that I will be healed. I must truly believe. There can be no doubt. This is no small order. If you want me to live -- for a long time in remission (which I really do believe in my heart can happen). You are all going to have to get to work. For example, if you're Catholic, dust off the Bible and Rosary/other prayers and start small. Just say one decade if you've never said it before. Read the Bible and start committing to memory Bible verses. This is also very important. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us (Phil 4:13). If you're not Catholic but Christian, pray fervently and commit and refresh those Bible verses to memory. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer (Matt 21:22). [But you must believe and have faith.] If you believe in God, or even if you don't believe in God, I challenge you to consider saying even just a small prayer because if you do, the reward will be great. I DO have faith in GOD and that there is a higher purpose in life. I have hope that he wants to heal me with your help. And I want ALL of you to believe in God. Feel free to forward this email to anyone who would pray for me (prayer chains at church, etc) and want to increase their faith. This is so vitally important.

Besides saying a small prayer for me, everyone should pray incessantly for peace, an end to terrorism, and a peaceful solution to the world's problems or there will be no world for any of us to live in - not just me -- you, too! PLEASE EVEN IF YOU DON'T PRAY FOR ME, PRAY FOR THE WORLD!

God will listen to your prayers asking for my healing. He's answered them once. I'm sure he'll answer them again.

We'll keep you informed regarding tests, etc. But, maybe if all of you pray hard enough now, there will be no need for another chemo regimen. And if I do have to do this again, I'll be reenergized from all your positive energy so that I can be a good wife and mother to Tom and the kids while being on chemo. Also, please say a prayer for Tom that he is kept close to God during this hard time. He loves me so much.

Love and prayers to all.

Chris

P.S. They say laughter also heals. Maybe you can send me some jokes or funny situations in your life that I would be able to laugh about. Keep in mind, I do like the Family Circus and the Far Side cartoons. Maybe movie suggestions. (however, no foul language or adult content please -- maybe depending on the movie I can handle a little bit of that stuff!)

From: Julie Richter

Sent: Wednesday, January 29, 2003 5:27 AM

Subject: Encouragement for Chris!

Dear Friends and Family of Christine Guetzloff-

As most of you know, today my sister, Chris, will begin her third round of Chemo treatments. Chris has had such a positive influence on many of us, so we were thinking that we could give some of those positive vibes back to her by creating something to look forward to.

For the first round of chemo we all sent Chris pretty hats and scarves, for the second chemo the focus was Angels. So now for the third round we came up with a very simple idea. All it takes is your love inspired words and some creativity. We are thinking that everyone could make an audio tape (or something along those lines) of themselves/family sending Chris a very positive message of hope. Please feel free to use your imagination. And send them to her:

Some ideas:

• Audio cassettes of yourselves giving her words of encouragement,
• reading psalms, singing, playing piano, etc...
• Video cassettes of the same token
• Jotted down stories of childhood, college, family memories...
• Pictures..
• Inspirational books, short stories, etc..
• Virtually anything that lets her know we're thinking about her!!

Over Christmas break, we were watching a video given to her by some relatives. The video was taped on our grandparent's, Martin and Neva Luze, farm and included many relatives celebrating Chris’ one year "celebrating life" party. They all participated in bringing down the walls of cancer and praising the Lord. It was really touching and we could all do something similar...

Be creative! Let her know that we all love her, she's not in this alone, and that we're all talkin' to the Big Guy upstairs!

Thank you all so much for your prayers, support, and encouragement!

Julie Richter (Chris' sister)

Sent: Wednesday, January 29, 2003 4:12 PM

Subject: Game 3 - Round 1

Hi all,

We'll I've made it though the first chemo. It wasn't too bad. However, I'll be getting a port tomorrow. I'll have to go under general anesthesia. These past three days have been hard on my family, especially Tom. He sees me most when I am having a tough time mentally. Most of my anxiety comes from the unknown.

So this round will be Gemzar (gemcytobine) and Cis-platin given each week for one day (two weeks on, one week off).

I've also been wrestling with a Jonah situation that I don't want to do. Maybe you can read The Chapter of Jonah in the Bible and ask for God's wisdom for me and for the Holy Spirit to give me the words to convey this message, who I feel, is from God (WAS NOT SAID BY GOD, just felt). I just don't want to do it nor know exactly how to do it. I've even told Him, "No".

Blood-work will be done on Tuesday, and next chemo on Thursday (the 6th of Feb).

Love and prayers to all.

Chris

P.S., Thanks for all the prayers in my selfish attempt to receive a medically substantiated miraculous healing before chemo. It was not right thinking on my part. I receive many little miracles everyday, which I know are because of all your prayers. But still... Pray. Pray. Pray. But this time... pray as you wish and see fit.

Sent: Friday, January 31, 2003 6:24 PM

Subject: Jonah's request

Hi all:

Short Version: Chemo went well so far. Next chemo is Thursday. Infuse-Port was put in yesterday. I am a little tired, but doing pretty good. As for the Jonah situation which I didn't want to do: I believe that God wants me to ask everyone to 1) Pray; 2) Fast; and 3) Confess your sins to God. Who am I to ask for more from all of you? God is merciful. For more details see below.

Long Version (unfortunately very long!): Well, on Sunday during the sermon at church, my mind was wandering and I couldn't focus. Thoughts of an email asking everyone to fast for world peace, an end to terrorism kept surfacing. I kept saying to myself, "I can't do this. This is too much to ask from all. So I was wrestling with this and dealing with starting chemo on Sunday, Monday and Tuesday all before Wednesday. In fact, on Monday, I threw something down on the floor and said, "I can't do this. I won't do this, God. It is not my place to ask everyone to fast!" Then it also came to me to ask everyone to confess their sins to God (like an examination of conscience). [For example, if you're Catholic, go to confession. If you are not, then just sit down with God and confess your sins to Him and ask for forgiveness.] Why do I have to do this? I've told God, "No" many times this week. Maybe I'm hoping that if I ask for all of you to do this, then I'll receive a miracle, but I don't believe that is why I feel God is working through me this time. I think it is because we need to really focus on stopping terrorism and facilitate reasonable world peace. And when you read the book of Jonah, you'll see that Jonah ran from what God asked him to do. He was supposed to tell the people of Nineveh that their city (and all the people) would be destroyed if they did not repent of their wicked ways. And Jonah tried to run away from God. However, God can find us wherever we are. And Jonah was swallowed by a large fish (whale) for three days and three nights. But finally Jonah agrees to go to Nineveh and proclaim to the people God's message. Then the people of Nineveh believed and they decided that everyone should fast. This helped to bring about God changing His mind about destroying the people of Nineveh. But Jonah was still angry because he knew that God was merciful and didn't believe that he would have destroyed the city anyway. Which is sort of how I feel about this email. In fact, I felt like I was in the belly of the great fish in anguish for three days and nights (Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday). On Monday night, I kept dreaming that the "devil" was tormenting me and my family so badly that I was so afraid to even sleep. But the next day I realized that God transcends all and that His mercy can take away evil if we ask Him too.

So what does this mean? I'm not really sure. I don't believe that God wants us to all pray, fast, and confess our sins for my miracle. Rather for the world's miracle... For those of you who may not know, apparitions of Mary have been occurring to 6-7 teenage/now adult seers in Medjugorie, Yugoslavia since the early 1980s. This is still happening. It must be noted that these apparitions (to my knowledge) have not been approved by the Catholic Church. But her message is to Pray, Fast, and Confess your sins. She has stated this to the seers about fasting: "The best fast is on bread and water. Through fasting and prayer, one can stop wars, one can suspend the laws of nature. Charity cannot replace fasting. Those who are not able to fast can sometimes replace it with prayer, works of love, and confession; but everyone, except the sick, must fast (said during the second year of the apparitions)."

So what constitutes a fast you may ask? Other than the best fast on bread and water, one could do a regular one day fast once a week, or a three day fast once a month. Or skipping a meal and offering it up as a fast. When one does do a fast though, one should always offer up the fast to God in reparation for something like an end to terrorism, or world peace. In addition to biblical promotion of fasting, science has proven that insulin growth factors leading to cancers can be inhibited by fasting. Many doctors believe that fasting can be used regularly to help regain health and detoxify the body of stress and toxins from our environment. For those with cancer, it is sometimes suggested to do a 3-7 day juice fast (consisting of veggie and fruit juice) to help the body destroy cancer cells and rejuvenate the immune system. All major religions promote some sort of fasting. It is in the Bible. Besides fasting in Jonah, in Leviticus 16:29, while observing the day of atonement, they were required to fast. In Acts (14:23) "In each church they appointed elder, and with prayers and fasting they commended them to the Lord, in whom they had put their trust. Jesus spent forty days and nights in the desert without food, fasting. God knows the importance of fasting for our bodily and spiritual health and science is helping to prove this. [Obviously, the sick should not fast (the diabetic, the hypoglycemic, the young, the elderly, etc).]

What about confessing your sins? Well, if you're Catholic, I would guess this means going to confession at least once a year and probably in reality more often than that. Probably once a month would be ideal. What if you don't believe in "official" confession like Catholics? Well, I think that God wants all of us, Catholic or whatever, to confess our sins to God on a regular basis. Maybe once a month we should sit down with God and just think about our wrongs we have done and ask to be forgiven and then forget about them. What if we are in situational sin (i.e. doing drugs, drinking too much, adultery, living together, depression, despair, hopelessness, anger, peer pressure, a hard situation etc)? I believe God knows our hearts and knows our situations and judges accordingly to our lifestyles and our hearts. One cannot judge another. God knows when we are doing our best given our situations. But I think a regular examination of conscience by confessing our sins to God will allow all of us to prioritize what is important in our life and help us to overcome situational sins. In fact, in Matt 3:4-6, it states that, "then the people of Jerusalem and all Judea were going out to him, and all the region along the Jordan, an they were baptized by him (John the Baptist) in the river Jordan, confessing their sins." So it was a practice of the early church. Confession creates in us a grateful heart, for we know in faith that God holds nothing against us. We begin a new life each time we confess our sins. It uplifts and strengthens us.

I haven't really wanted to write this email (just like Jonah). I don't think it is my place to ask you all to do this. As I have said God did not come out and SAY this to me, rather I felt it. So do not feel like you have to do this. I feel I am just being asked to pass this message along. If what Mary says is true about fasting that it can stop wars and suspend the laws of nature, then I think it would be a wise thing to start so that terrorism, an end to war, and reasonable world peace could be ascertained. I am but a mere insignificant thought in the vast picture of the world. My miracle and your miracles mean nothing if the world is obliterated. But the world needs all of us to pray, fast, and confess our sins to renew in our hearts, a "heaven on earth", so that we don't destroy God's good earth He entrusted us to protect.

Lots of love and prayers to all of you.

Chris

P.S. Feel free to pass this email along to anyone you may think may wish to read it OR simply just DELETE it! And no, I'm not sending any bad luck with it for not forwarding it along. Ha Ha.

Sent: Wednesday, February 12, 2003 8:35 AM

Subject: Update and Prayer request

Hi all.

Short Version: Had doctor's appt on Monday. No CA125 number yet. [Number usually comes down more slowly with this regimen.] Chemo is going fairly well so far. Had two treatments (29th and 6th). Now for a week off. Getting Gemzar and cis-platin. Count was low, may need neupogen shots to boost WBC. Find out pretty soon on that. Feels like low is now. Lymph nodes are swollen and legs are very tired. I'm resting today. Sister, Ginger and daughter, Hope, flew out (Ginger is 8 months pregnant) and helped clean, organize, and cook meals for us. No baby born here (would have been fun!). Feel the intense urge to ask all to pray for a peaceful resolution in Iraq. My feeling is that we can avoid war if we all pray and fast for the conversion of Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein (and the unnamed terrorists, which would be a total miracle in and of itself).

Long Version: Here I go again. I've been burning with the Spirit since Sunday (or it's the chemo!) on how to deliver this message. I think I now know why I had to write the Jonah email. But this time I'm willingly trying to do God's bidding. I believe the Jonah email was written because we (you and I) have the prayer power to stop and resolve this war/conflict with Iraq, end terrorism, and remove Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein (possibly even cause their conversion to believe in God and do good globally). Even if it was God's plan for there to be war, we can all pray and fast and change God's will to stop this war so that all can live in a reasonably peaceful world.

On Sunday, during the homily, our priest delivered a very, very stirring message. The spirit moved within me and I had tears of joy surface, because I totally felt that WE can/will stop this war and possibly even convert these two men by our prayer and fasting. (Whether or not this is true remains to be seen, but I feel it ache in my bones that we can all do this by praying and fasting together.) In fact, (see email below), a priest in Layfette, IN, experienced a vision of suffering and the horrors of the war with Iraq, but that it could be averted if we could get one million people to pray for Saddam Hussein (I would pray for Osama bin Laden, too, especially concerning the new developments). If it is true that only one million people are needed to pray to avert war, we can totally do this. One million is not that many people. Maybe if two or three million people were praying for this then they would be totally converted and we could maybe even end terrorism forever. All I know is that we can do this. We have the power to help change them by our prayers and fasting. Also, March 3 has been designated as a world day of prayer and fasting to end this Iraq conflict. Therefore, I suggest we get started before March 3 and all do our part by organizing prayer groups and days for fasting to stop this conflict.

Perhaps those who can fast (and have names from A-K) should pray and fast each Friday and end on March 3. Those who have names from L-R could pray and fast on Wednesdays and end on March 3. And those with names S-Z could fast and pray on Mondays ending on March 3. And everyone end the fast on March 3. If a day doesn't work for you, pick another day. You decide what type of fast you can do. Maybe it is skipping one meal. Maybe it is skipping snacks. Maybe it is bread and water. Maybe it is going without soda pop. Maybe is it refraining from swearing. Also if you have pain and suffering, offer it up as a sacrifice in place of fasting. Maybe a headache can be graciously offered up without complaining. Maybe doing a task you find mundane or difficult can be offered up. Just pick something and remember to offer it up for an end to this conflict with Iraq and to convert Saddam and Osama. We can do this. I just know it. [Obviously, we don't have to do this. We have free choice and free will. God gave us that gift. I totally believe that this could be one of the most imperceivable miracles given to us from God - the conversion of these two men and an end to terrorism.] I know many of you think that they should be destroyed. I don't know that info. We must trust that God's plan will take all they've done into account for retribution. But God's forgiveness and mercy is infinite. We cannot worry about punishment. But most of all, remember that Jonah's request changed the course for Nineveh. We can also change the course for Iraq and this world.

Love and prayers to all.

Chris (Richter) Guetzloff

P.S. As always feel free to forward or delete. But I know this message is more important than all the others I've ever written. So please prayerfully consider this message. Thanks.

************************************* (an email sent from our priest)**************************************

Intercessory Prayer Request

This request came from Father Andy Pavlak, OP, in Lafayette, Indiana

Last week the spirit of the Lord woke me in the middle of the night and powerfully spoke to me. He told me that if we could mobilize 1,000,000 intercessors to pray for Saddam Hussein, that he would leave Iraq, thus avoiding the need for a war. After He spoke to me, I saw a series of visions of people suffering because of the horrors of war. Then I realized that God had a plan that He was going to fulfill one way or another, but that His greatest desire would be to remove Saddam without the suffering of so many.

My heart is burning within me about this, because we have the ability to simply have Saddam leave Iraq like so many other dictators have left their countries thus opening the door for freedom without a war.

Please join us in praying, and alert as many intercessors as you can, so that we can play our part in raising these 1,000,000 intercessors to cry out to God for war to be averted.

*************************************************************************************************************

Sent: Monday, February 17, 2003 5:26 PM

Subject: Chris

Family and Friends,

Chris is CA-125 number is 1397. This is not a typo. This number is even higher than her first surgery. For those who can make plans to come out here. I would suggest that you don't wait too long (I'm not sure what is going on). This could be just me freaking out but I'm at a loss of rational thought at this time. The doctor is going to give her chemo (same regiment) on this Thursday but if the numbers are down, then they will keep that regiment. I'm not sure if we should go to Disney or not. We will have to pray on it. She feels good but on Thursday she felt it growing. She has not felt it since. I'm so sorry about this news.

Tom

Sent: Monday, February 17, 2003 7:36 PM

Subject: CA-125 is now 1397

Hi all,

The doctor called tonight with the CA125 number. It was 1397. Yes, that's no typo! [It is now higher than it was before the first surgery when we caught it.] So, I'm not sure what is happening here. I was told it would go down much slower than the past regimens. Hopefully not up! Well, it went up. Way up... So we shall go one more round of this chemo and then we may have to shift gears. We are planning to go to Disney on Saturday and be back on Wednesday. It should be fun. Next chemo is on Wednesday. Thank you for your prayers, but I see you've been working on more pressing matters - like praying for the world. That's good. Keep praying and fasting. Remember, all of us praying and fasting together do make a difference.

May the light of Christ shine in each one of you.

Chris

P.S. I've had no more feelings (from God) as of late so maybe that means I'm done with my messages. One can hope!

Sent: Tuesday, February 18, 2003 4:43 PM

Subject: A New Hope

Hi all,

There is hope that the number could be erroneously high. Today when I spoke with the chemo nurse, she said that the CA125 numbers for the other three women that day were also quite high along with mine. She even had the technician rerun all the samples and got the same results. So, it is possible that maybe, just maybe, something may have been contaminated, incorrectly calibrated, etc for those samples. We can hope at least. I actually walked 1.3 miles today on the treadmill at quite a slow pace though. And yesterday I walked almost a mile. And I'm feeling pretty good. I definitely don't feel like there is that much ascitis buildup. In fact, I feel like the chemo has been working. To what extent, I'm not sure. If the number is still that high next time, we know for sure the regimen will have to be changed.

Tom and I both dyed our hair with auburn highlights--something fun before Disney. I'm not sure I really like it. It's not too noticeable unless we're in the light.

As for feelings from God, I spoke too soon. This morning I woke up with this Bible passage in my head. (Read Mark 9:14-29) "Why could we not drive the spirit out?" and Jesus said, "This kind can only be driven out by prayer." I'm not fully sure why these phrases kept surfacing this morning. In fact, this passage is about the power of a timid prayer (of a father who is desperate). [See Max Lucado's He Still Moves Stones book for a much more detailed explanation. Thanks, Felicia.] The man has an epileptic boy who cannot speak and appears to be deaf (it just now came to me that the boy was probably autistic - like our son, Jake) and his prayer to Jesus is "...IF you can..." and Jesus said, "everything is possible for the person who has faith." But the father has not enough faith and he wants help to get more faith. Jesus answered the father's timid prayer (IF you can) by driving the evil spirit out. Why this passage? I'm not sure. Maybe my cancer is the kind that only prayer can kill. I don't know. But I've given it to you now. Do with it what you will.

As for praying for world peace, I must warn you all, that when we pray we should ask for reasonable world peace. A peace in which we can still have principles and not just give our freedoms away. We must be wise and cautious about trusting ones who can deceive us by telling us what we want to hear. It should not be peace at ANY cost. Principles do matter.

May the peace of Christ be with you.

Chris

Sent: Monday, March 03, 2003 1:32 PM

Subject: 297 not 1397

Hi all,

First of all, DISNEY was a blast! It was fun. We spent two days at Magic Kingdom and one day at Animal Kingdom. The kids loved it. Jake especially loved all the roller coasters. Megan loved getting the autographs from the characters (Jake was afraid of them!) Tom pushed me around in the wheelchair we rented so I didn't get too worn out. I even went on the rides (three times on Space Mountain in one day). We also had alot of fun with Tom's sister's family (Brenda, Tracy, Brian and Sarah [cousins]). We did videotape some of the trip and took pictures. We'll send a few out when they're developed via computer. Tom and I are totally blessed to have such a wonderful family (and friends).

My sister Julie, brother Chuck and sister-in-law-Chris (baby Charlie) visited this weekend and worked on various projects sprucing up the house and whatnot. We painted my Mom's old dresser, Chuck built two neat benches to show off our Blenko glass rectangles we got for free. And we decorated the house a bit more. Charlie is so cute and gave us a show many times. Chris helped cook meals and the kids played. My brother, Zeke, is coming out to visit this weekend. Then at the end of the month, Dad and Jackie will be visiting.

Today, I had the doctor's visit and the CA125 number taken last Wednesday was 297. The doctor believes that this chemo regimen is working (I do, too). It is highly unlikely that the 1397 number was correct. (We think it a lab prep error during collection because three other women also had really high numbers, too.) Unfortunately, we do not have a good beginning number to guage how well the chemo is working. But the number before the 297 was 211 and that was two-three weeks before chemo started, so likely the number was a bit higher than 211 before starting chemo (I'm thinking maybe 400-700). So we're continuing with this regimen. I've also been told that the number comes down a bit more slowly with Gemzar and Cis-platin. As for hair, I actually still have it with this regimen (may thin a bit, but shouldn't fall out). It is so nice having hair. I know, it shouldn't matter, but these little blessings like having hair and eyebrows make it much nicer.

So, thank you for the prayers for me and if you could please pray for my best friend's daughter (Char [Callahan] and Vic Raley's daughter, Alicia who is 3 years old) who is having surgery tomorrow (Tuesday) in Omaha, NE to correct problems relating to her cleft palate and other problems she had when she was born, I'd really appreciate it. The surgery tomorrow is a Fundoplication--(an anti reflux procedure; she has already had one but it failed so it has to be redone and they are going to put her G-tube back in to give her liquids). Her second surgery is tentatively scheduled for April 18th. The second surgery is a Cricophayngeal Muscle Reduction surgery (the muscle on the top of her esophagus is too large--which is causing her to aspirate food into her lungs). It has just been so much for this cute little girl to have to endure.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

Chris (and Tom)

P.S. Attached is a picture of my short hairdo. I still have the chipmunk (steroid) cheeks, but that's ok.

Sent: Thursday, March 13, 2003 4:11 PM

Subject: Brief update

Hi all,

Had the first week of the third round of chemo this Wednesday. Will get the CA125 next week sometime. Chemo on Wednesday again.

Must say thank you to Brenda and Tracy (Tom's sister and brother-in-law) for inviting us to Disneyworld during their kids' winter break and letting us stay with them in the condo. It was a good trip. I still don't have the pictures developed yet (yes, I know I'm slow), but teaching comes first right now. Maybe during our spring break I'll have some time to send out a few pictures. Too bad our kids don't have spring break until April because we can't really do much in the way of trips when the breaks don't coincide.

For those of you who prayed for Alicia Raley (my best friend's daughter), thank you. The first surgery has been completed and went well. Now for the next surgery in April. We hope it goes well, too and that these surgeries fix the problems. Please know they appreciated your prayers.

Hope you all are well and wish you a happy St. Patrick's Day coming up (especially those of you who are Irish!).

Love and prayers to all.

Chris

Sent: Wednesday, March 19, 2003 3:05 PM

Subject: Down to 169. Thanks.

Hi all,

Had chemo today. And the CA125 number came back. It was 169. That is down from last time (297). Still a ways to go from 0-20 (normal range), but it is coming down! That is good. It is supposed to come down more slowly with this regimen. So we're happy it is coming down. Next week I see the doctor and it is my off chemo week. Then then next chemo is the 2nd of April. I've noticed this chemo is a bit easier on some things and a bit harder on others. So far, I've not had to have any immune booster shots like Procrit (RBC) or Neulasta/Neupogen (WBC) which is good. However, it seems like I am more tired from the chemos because I'm getting them each week. My lows are probably Sun/Mon/Tue of each week after a Wednesday treatment. The second week is a bit harder than the first week of each round. But I am thankful that there is chemo to help eradicate the cancer. Do I still have hope for remission? With God, all things are possible. It is not probable, but I know that there are so many people praying for us, that if it is in God's hands, then it may happen. I definitely don't deserve all these prayers and kind thoughts. You all do. I just keep chugging along. I'm much more at peace with this chemo. I'm just letting it be in God's hands. Thank you all for that peace. I did walk a slow half mile today so I'm slowly trying to get back into exercising.

As for the war with Iraq, I still believe that our prayers, fasting, and sacrifices do make a difference. Maybe the severity of the war will be lessoned. I've not had any spiritual feelings again, but I believe the Jonah email was probably reminding us that God's will can be changed and that we can lessen the number of days things will happen as predicted by scripture. All is not completely written in stone (there is room for God to lessen the number of days and the severity on some things that must happen; Jesus even said that number of days has been lessened). Some think that this war will begin the end days as foretold in Revelations/Daniel/Ezekiel. It may be. It might not be. That is irrelevant in my mind. We all should try to be as prepared as we can no matter what happens. And we do have the power to help bring others back to God by our prayers. We can pray for protection of our families and loved ones and to minimize the actions of terrorists. We can pray for our leaders to make the right choices. War will not be fun, but we can pray that casualties are minimized and justice be swift. I really thought with our prayers we could avert the war, but it seems I was wrong. So I am rethinking my "feelings" from God. Maybe there is another purpose and maybe it was just me thinking. So as always do with it what you will.

Love and prayers to all.

Chris

Sent: Tuesday, April 08, 2003 4:46 PM

Subject: No chemo this week

Hi all,

Well, my WBC count was too low so I'm not having chemo tomorrow (Wednesday). I am now on the nupegen shots. Hopefully that will bring it back up. I'm feeling a bit tired, my throat a bit sore, and my back is aching a bit. Jake had strept throat last week, so I'll watch it to make sure it is not strept. It is good to be able to get the lab results before chemo so that I don't have chemo if I'm not able. The CA125 should come sometime this week. I should have chemo next week Wednesday assuming all goes well.

A friend of mine said God would like us to do a fast (him and me) - a three day fast. I'll be doing a fruit and veggie fast the three days before Easter (starting Thursday evening, ending Sunday morning). He is doing a water only fast. He anticipates huge blessings for being obedient to God's call. If you'd like you could join us during this fast. But be sincere about what you fast for. If you can't fast and would like to be united with us, offer up prayers for your intentions instead. For Christians, this would be a great time to prepare your heart for the resurrection.

Thanks for your prayers. May God bless you abundantly.

Chris

Sent: Monday, April 14, 2003 6:28 PM

Subject: Down to 135

Hi all,

The CA125 number is 135 (down from 169, down from 297). It is not as low as I had hoped, but it is lower. It is likely that it will go down more slowly each time and eventually the cancer will build up resistance again. That is the way it goes. However, during the last regimen we had some large drops in the number probably due to the many prayers of you all. Since God is in control, he can lower it again if it is His will. I do know prayers work so I'm going to let it be in God's hands. I thank God each day for all the things I can do and how much I've been blessed. And now I've been blessed even more. I still hope for remission, but we all know that is unlikely, but yet, all things are possible with God.

You see, ever since my mother died from breast cancer, I always had this vision/desire that someday I'd be doing breast cancer research. Well, the time has come. In February I applied for a summer research mentorship program called WV-BRIN to enhance faculty biomedical research at colleges in WV. Junior faculty (in my case an adjunct) are mentored in a research project by an established faculty member from Marshall or WVU. With the help of recommendations from Dr. Kathy Harper (the Dean) and the Chair (Dr. Hal Pinnick) I have been accepted into the program. The mentor I have chosen is Dr. Michael Moore at Marshall University. He is working on the mechanism of breast cancer cell death inhibition by progestin. Basically studying the effects that progestin has on keeping cancer cells alive and kicking (this means progesterone helps to grow the cancer cells). So this is great! I will be learning techniques that I can apply to my own (future) research and to the Master's program in biotechnology program at WVSC. So God has truly blessed me even more. And the compensation for the summer program is pretty good, too. It will be for nine weeks this summer. [They know all about my having ovarian cancer and that I'm on chemo. They are willing to work with me on that. The program officially runs from June 6-August 9, but I'll probably start sometime in May to compensate for the days I'll be at chemo.]

As for me, I'm trying to see that God knows that having this cancer is in my best interest. Kind of like Paul when he asks God three times to take away his ailment, and God basically says to him (paraphrased), "It is to your benefit to have this illness - for when you are weak I am strong." (see 2 Cor 12) I guess it has been to my benefit to have this cancer. (At least I am trying to convince myself of that!) Had I not had cancer, I probably wouldn't have been able to do the cancer research with Dr. Moore. [He wasn't on the original WV-BRIN faculty mentor list. But Dr. Primerano worked up a way for him to be involved with the program.] God is giving me the opportunity to fulfill one of my dreams before I may not be able to do so - assuming the cancer keeps coming back.

Thank you for your prayers for my best friend's daughter, Alicia. She had surgery today and has a swallow study on Thursday. Surgery was a little over 3 hours, a little longer than expected. The doctor accidentally nicked her esophagus, but thinks she patched it up sufficiently. Alicia also has some vocal cord damage on one side. The doctor said that kids compensate really well and that the other side may make-up for what is lacking on the damaged side. Time will tell. Alicia is sleeping a lot right now, getting IV's, etc. Thank you for any prayers you say for their family right now. We appreciate it.

Have a blessed Holy Week. Love and prayers.

Chris

Sent: Tuesday, April 22, 2003 1:42 PM

Subject: No chemo tomorrow.

Hi all,

Got the blood-work results. The WBC is too low to have chemo again. It is 2.6 and it is supposed to be 3.0 to have chemo (last time I missed it was 2.5). So no chemo tomorrow and I need to take the neupogen shots again for three days. Then I'll get blood-work on Friday to see if it is up again. Then assuming it is up, chemo will be next Wednesday. There was no CA125 taken with this result. [I get blood-work each week and the CA125 is usually only taken every three weeks.] Actually, I'm not sure where I am on the CA125 cycle.

What does this mean? I'm not sure. It is what it is. It could be that my body is trying to fight off residual strept bacteria (from Jake and Megan) in which the neutrophils are gobbling up the bacteria. It could also mean that my bone marrow is just petering out. Or it could be neither. I'd like to trust God that my bone marrow will hold out because I still have hope for remission. Many people say I look good, even better than all the other chemos. I feel pretty good, too. The nurse is going to talk to the doctor. It may be that I have to go on an every other week schedule instead of two weeks on and one week off. Time will tell on that. We'll let you know when and if that happens.

Chris

Sent: Wednesday, April 30, 2003 1:42 PM

Subject: CA125 up to 189

Hi all,

I had chemo today. And I'm scheduled for one more chemo next week. Unfortunately, the CA125 number has gone up. It is up from 135 to 189. And it is likely a true reading. I've had a bit of bloating and I can feel some areas (that appear to be growing) in my mid abdomen, sides, and back. I talked to Schiano today and told him about it [His usual response: don't get all excited about the number] and I'll be getting a CT scan on the 14th and then if it is still up we'll try something else. If it is down then we'll continue with this regimen. I will be taking the neupogen shots this weekend to try to keep on schedule because my WBC have been low causing me to miss two treatments - another reason the number could be a bit elevated.

Needless to say after getting these results I believe I've been wrong about all my "feelings (or personal revelations) " from God. Let me explain...

When Ginger, my sister, was out here, I "felt from God" that 1) she was going to have her baby out here in WV [SHE DID NOT, but they had a healthy baby boy], 2) I felt like God was granting me a miracle of beating the cancer again [MY NUMBER IS HIGHER AND IT FEELS LIKE THE CANCER IS GROWING], and 3) we would avert war with Iraq with our prayers [YOU KNOW THE RESULTS THERE]. As of today, I have struck out! So I would like to warn all of you about personal revelations (or in my case, feelings) from God. Not that they don't exist, but to be on the lookout for someone telling you stuff like that. Make sure "the feeling" is truly from God. It should follow the Bible and God's Word for it to really be true. Now I'm not saying that God's Will isn't happening. I'm just saying that those of you who think I am "close" to the Lord better readjust your thinking! I'd like to be close to Him. But there's definitely no proof of that.

As for blessings for me... We were able to go to Disney World (and I had hair!). [I praise and thank God for that one.] At the beginning of the semester, I wondered how I would be able to teach Biochemistry going through chemo [He again pulled me through that along with a lot of help from my dear husband, Tom. Thank you, Tom, you'll probably never know how much I appreciate you!]. The cancer has been kept at bay (so to speak) for another few months. Family has visited. That has been wonderful. More family will be visiting for Megan's first communion. God has given me the opportunity to work on breast cancer research this summer. [I'll have to trust that God will get me through that, too.]

I know many of you have prayed for me to beat this cancer. I will continue to plug along and do my best. But, one would think with all the people who have been praying for me that God would have answered that prayer by now. It just may not be in His will. I don't know. But I do know that if you still pray for me, include a small prayer for Tom and the kids that they'll be able to handle whatever lies ahead. It will be hardest for them if things don't work out. Now it IS possible that the CA125 number could come down again (again, all things are possible with God "and chemo"). The nurse said it has for some people. Maybe I'll be one of those people. I don't want anyone thinking this is truly the end of the fight. Thinking about the end is worse than living it. So when and if it does happen things will work out. [Please don't think your prayers haven't helped. It just may be that I am here and able to do most everything I need to do because of your prayers. And it maybe be that this cancer is just so nasty that no chemo will exterminate it. Maybe only the wrath of God can expel it!]

Three times Paul asked for his affliction to be taken away. And three times God said, "My grace is all you need, for my power is greatest when you are weak." God didn't take away Paul's affliction (2 Cor 12). Three times we all asked. Maybe God's answer is, "No". But maybe He'll still help us through it so that we are all strong for Him. That's what really matters. To be strong for God and Jesus and to trust in Him and to trust Him. [I'm really struggling hard on trust, faith, and peace on this journey.]

Peace, trust, and blessings to you all.

Chris

Sent: Thursday, May 01, 2003 4:40 AM

Subject: Don't lose hope.

Hi all,

After last night's reflection of yesterday's email, I would like to say that let's be rational about the situation. First, the elevated results could be from missing those two chemos that would have kept me on schedule. And even if it is not working, we'll be trying something new fairly soon so all is not lost. I really should refrain from writing an email to you until one day after hearing "bad" news so that I can get a better perspective on it before emailing all of you. I think I need one day to wallow in my misery and then I can go on from there. I will keep on fighting for as long as God wants, which hopefully is a long time. Thank you for your prayers. Today is a brighter day for me.

I walked 1 1/2 mile today and started to do some "light" weightlifting which I've not been able to really do until now. Hopefully I can keep this up. I be taking the shots today, tomorrow and Saturday and getting blood-work Monday and hopefully chemo again on Wednesday and then we'll go from there.

Chris

Sent: Wednesday, May 07, 2003 3:11 PM

Subject: chemo on schedule this time

Hi all,

Had chemo today. Took the shots last Thursday, Friday and Saturday. That brought the WBC up to 12.5 (4.8-10 is normal). Has to be over 10 to get chemo when you are on the nuepogen shots. Will be getting Jake's tonsil's out at the end of May. Hopefully that'll help with this Strept superstrain saga (BTW, my throat is a bit sore). Will be taking the shots this Friday, Saturday and Sunday and get blood-work on Monday. Then CT scan on Wednesday and get more blood-work on Friday (this one we'll get the CA125 number for the doctor's visit on Wednesday 21st). If the number is up, we'll try a different regimen. If it is the down then we'll continue on this one. If it is the same, I'm not sure what'll happen. Maybe you can pray that the cancer responds to this current regimen and all the following regimens so that we can extend my life as long as possible. And for me to take the appropriate vitamins, excercise, and diet to help combat and overcome side effects from the chemo. [People rarely die from the cancer nowadays, it's the chemo they die from, because it eventually overwhelms the organs and they can take no more.]

As for last week's email, I am a person who doesn't like change. God usually has to "hit" me over the head to make me consider undertaking a big change in my life. I guess he's trying to get me out of the "remission" thinking and into the "extending my life" thinking. Sure, I'd love a miracle, but that's not likely. It is always hard for me to adjust my thinking that way. Several of you told me I'm human and I can complain. Yes, I can, but it's not very becoming on me. And it really does no good. Megan keeps praying for "the miracle" and wants to hear all the Bible stories about Jesus performing miracles. We have to remind her that God often gives us miracles that we're not expecting or praying for. He knows best. My miracle could have been that I didn't die when first diagnosed. Maybe the miracle is that my life has basically been extended two years since diagnosis. [But I'm greedy, I want more... years... Another 2, then another 2, then another, and so on...]

Thank you for your prayers. May God bless you all.

Chris

Sent: Wednesday, May 14, 2003 5:12 AM

Subject: Fw: Alicia

Hi all,

I will be getting a CT scan today. It is likely that the cancer has built up resistance to this chemo regimen, but we shall see... With God all things are possible (Mark 10:27 thanks, Ann, I used it alot on Tuesday.) We'll let you know about the results when we get them.

Thanks.

Chris

************************************(from Char and Vic about Alicia)***********************************

Hello--We made it to Omaha and back again and again it stormed! So far all winter and spring it has stormed everytime we have gone so if anyone needs rain---just call us for a visit!!

We went to see both doctors today. First we went to the GI (gastrointestinal) and then went to the ENT (ear, nose and throat). After visiting with both of them--unfortunately we do not know a whole lot more. They both tell us to be patient and this May or May Not get better with time alone. That is reassuring for them and us, but also hard!

Right now the plan is to go back in 2 months and redo the swallow and see both of them again. They want us to continue doing the g-tube feeds ALL the time and letting her snack in between. We (meaning Vic and myself) have decided that we will wait until she gets her weight up to the 50% and then we will start weaning down the g-tube feeds on our own! Why not--we have done this once, with help from some of you, and we will do it again! We are also looking into some other options that would mean travel across the country and doing a procedure that would not hurt her, but is time consuming and costly--but may help her and it does NOT involve anything invasive!! We are only looking into this at this time and do not know if Alicia is even a good candidate for it--but the doctors in Omaha even think it is worth a try! The other advantage to this it that we would have the opinion of the speech clinician that is outstanding and known all over the country for getting people to swallow normally when it was considered impossible! We think it is worth, at the very least, an evaluation by her that can be done by phone and fax. We have been told that she will be honest and tell us if she doesn't think it will help.

The good new is that Alicia is gaining weight on the program that Vic and I set up for her!!! She is up a pound (a different scale) from last week!! We continue to have problem with the first feeding of the day and we are wondering if the reflux is to blame. The GI thinks it could be that or that her tummy is not emptying while she sleeps so we are going to try a few things and maybe do some tests here in Sioux Falls in the mean time. We are also working closely with the speech therapist at the school and another occupational therapist (Carrie Rowe) that has worked on Alicia in the past, to try to strengthen her swallow with exercises and games!

Thanks for all your support and prayers!! We will get through this, it will just take us a little longer than we would like. I told Vic today that I can handle about any part of this better than the waiting--I want results right away and we are just going to have to remember how to be patient!!

God Bless You and Yours

Char, Vic and the girls

Sent: Monday, May 19, 2003 4:26 AM

Subject: New info on Chris

Family,

The cancer seems to be either gone or not detectable on the CAT scan. This is obviously very good. Chris is having water weight fluctuations, too me it appears to be accities build up (like in Seattle). The doctor believes it is not ascities but her gall bladder is acting up. So she might need this to be removed. We need the CA-125 numbers to be sure it is not cancer causing these water fluctuations. But we are not certain about the details when and if we have surgery to remove the gall bladder. Also, her CA-125 numbers are not in the 0-20 range yet, so if she does get surgery, I would assume she will need to heal quickly so that the cancer treatments could start again. Again, this is good news that the cancer is down but not sure in what is causing this water fluctuation. She will meet with the doctor on Wed. so we will no more on Wed. Hang in there.

Tom

Sent: Wednesday, May 21, 2003 2:53 PM

Subject: Here we go again.

Hi all,

Game on! Game off! I am in a vertical whirl spin! After talking with the doctor today I am totally in limbo. Because the CT scan shows no ascitis or growths, he wants to try this regimen one more time and have the number taken again on Monday along with lipase and a-amylase enzyme levels (to rule out pancreatic problems possibly associated with gallstones). He says it is also possible that if the gallbladder is inflamed it could elevate the CA125 number. So I am having this same chemo regimen tomorrow. He really doesn't want to throw this regimen down the drain just yet [Once we quit we can't go back to this one].

The other thing is if we take out the gallbladder, it is likely it will put a big break in the chemo treatment. He thinks I will have to be off chemo for two weeks and then two weeks recovery (approximate). During this surgery we could also take a look at the extent of the cancer in that region when I'm operated on.

I know exactly how Char and Vic feel when the doctors say, "wait and see" regarding Alicia's problems. This is also really hard on Tom. He was so happy the CT scan didn't show anything. But I don't feel right so I was skeptical of the results. I'm fighting to extend my life as long as possible, but I just don't know God's will for me and these treatments. Praying for me seems hopeless, but I'm sure that all your prayers are still helping. God wants what is best for all of us. Sometimes we can't see what "best" is.

Love and prayers to all.

Chris

Sent: Wednesday, May 21, 2003 4:59 PM

Subject:

Hi all,

I know I have been writing some emails that have not been uplifting lately. I'd like to be an inspiring person to you all, but as you know sometimes one must deal with the blows. Well, another blow dealt today. The CA125 number was elevated to 427 (up from 189). It basically doubled. [This basically explains my tenderness/bloating in the upper abdomen, sides and back. Apparently it is not visible on the CT scan yet, so that is good.] So after the ultrasound of the gallbladder today, I went to chemo and asked for the number. Because it was elevated I chose not to have chemo today. I do have a doctor's appointment today at 2:00 PM. I will talk to the doctor about the next step. And I'm scheduled for chemo tomorrow (either the same regimen or a new one according to our discussion today. I didn't want to waste a week for starting another chemo if this one is not working.)

There are a number of chemotherapy drugs still available to me. From talking with the nurse, it is likely that Doxil will be the next choice. However, using this chemo will force us to take a GIANT leap of FAITH because we won't know if it is working until about 3-4 months from now (that's how long it takes for the CA125 numbers to come down). It is given on an every 4 week regimen (looks like orange kool-aid) unlike the weekly Gemzar/Cisplatin. So it is very scary.

For those of you who pray, please pray for us to do God's will regarding chemo. Please pray for my doctor to make the right decision and that all these stubborn cancer cells respond to the treatment - whatever chemo it may be. If you don't pray just ask for God's mercy to be bestowed upon you so that you will hear His call. He truly loves you as He does me. The greater glory of God will be done when we are obedient to His call.

Doing my best to keep the faith.

Chris

Sent: Tuesday, May 27, 2003 2:41 PM

Subject: Rummage sale June 13th, 14th.

Family and friends,

I just got done talking with Char (Callahan) Raley about a benefit for us. She's really been wanting to have a benefit for us for miscellaneous expenses (like vitamins, expenses, etc). However, with this summer position I have, we feel it would not be wise to take advantage of God's blessings and have therefore delayed this benefit for later (possibly Christmas time). However, in Char's neighborhood in Sioux Falls, SD they are having a rummage sale on June 13th and 14th and she wanted to know if she (and others) could put up stuff for sale for us. My stipulation: "Only if half of all the proceeds go to Alicia's cause." [I've tried to inform you about all their problems with Alicia. It also seems that there is a lot of hidden cost involved with Alicia's feedings, which are not covered by insurance, etc.] So reluctantly, Char has agreed to split the proceeds from the rummage sale. From all that they are going through, I think they probably need a benefit more than we do. [We just need "super prayers" to keep asking God to remove the cancer or help us live "with it" more trustfully and faithfully.]

So this is where you could help if you want. If you have rummage sale (yard sale) items that you would like to get rid of, then you could email or call Char and bring the stuff to her house for sale on those two days. Char plans to donate the remaining stuff that does not sell to a charity like Goodwill/Salvation Army/etc. (If you would like it back if it doesn't sell, then you would have to pick it up.) As for the proceeds, Char would get half and we would get half, but if we have the benefit in December, then these funds would probably be used to help get the benefit organized (basically a little seed/starter money to rent a room/get donations from companies, etc - please know this is not definite yet either).

As you know it is not our intention to have money handed to Char's family or us. I think she needs it more than we do and she thinks we need it more than they do. So we are both stubborn. But more than any benefit or money, we appreciate all the prayers the most because we know that God transforms all of our lives when we pray. We've seen so many little miracles and bigger miracles that come about when we pray for others. God's mercy is for everyone.

BTW congratulations to all the graduates who graduated from high school. Those I know: Alex Richter, Lindsay Richter, and Matt Luze (and all those we don't know). May God bless them and help guide them on a path to glorify your name. Unfortunately, we were not able to attend Alex's graduation. Megan's first communion was this weekend and the relatives from the Guetzloff side (from Chicago area) visited. It was very nice. We were thinking of Alex, too.

Love and prayers to all.

Chris

Char's email: xxxxxx@xxxxxxx.xxx

Char's phone number: XXX-XXX-XXXX

Sent: Wednesday, May 28, 2003 2:47 PM

Tom called the nurses and the CA125 is now 397 (down from 427 after a week and a half). Haven't talked to the doctor yet as to what this means with the gallbladder and the cancer, but I'm scheduled for chemo tomorrow as well as Jake's tonsillectomy. It IS good news that the number is not higher. So we're at least on the right track this time. I'm a bit worried (as a mother would be) about Jake's surgery but we should not worry, rather pray about everything.

Will let everyone know what happens with Jake and the doctor. Thanks for the prayers. With God all things are possible.

Love,

Chris

Sent: Thursday, May 29, 2003 1:44 PM

Hi all,

Jake made it through the tonsillectomy (now he has to be still for 10 days!) and I had chemo. The doctor thinks I should stay on the chemo schedule and deal with the gallbladder issue later (e.g. the cancer is more pressing at this time; Not sure about all the ifs with the CA124 number and the gallbladder being inflamed). I meet with him on June 9th. Keep praying the number comes down. Thanks for all the prayers.

Love and prayers to all.

Chris

With God all things are possible (Mark 10:27)

Sent: Wednesday, June 11, 2003 11:08 AM

Subject: No chemo today

Hi all,

Just a note to let you know I'm alive. We haven't emailed for a while. For one, our computer is dying. Sometimes it lets us email out and most of the time it doesn't (so we'll see if this gets sent). Right now it is not letting us receive emails. If you've written to us this week or last and we haven't replied it may be that we haven't seen it. It's probably time to break down and purchase a new one.

Jake's tonsillectomy and his recovery have gone really well. Thanks for the prayers. He wants to run and jump, but he has to wait until his doctor's appointment on Friday.

Unfortunately, my WBC count was too low today. They reran it again today and it was even a bit lower than on Monday. I had a fever of 100.2 and the doctor put me on antibiotic and the neupogen shots. The next chemo is scheduled next Thursday if all goes well. I must be getting some kind of infection (probably residual strept). I did have a cold last week and I'm still hacking up yucky stuff in the morning and night. Maybe that is it. Whatever it is, it is God's will.

Trusting in God and His mercy that the cancer will "hold its own this week" while being off chemo,

Chris

Sent: Thursday, June 19, 2003 4:28 PM

Subject: Down 30

Hi all,

Had chemo today (finally). The CA125 went down to 361 (30 points down). Last time it went down by 36 points. So we can see it is definitely declining in its effectiveness, unfortunately. However, I am still alive today and many are the blessings I have been given. I meet with the doctor on July 2 (I hope). He usually evaluates the effectiveness of the treatment after eight cycles. I just started seven today. Then hopefully we'll discuss options about further treatment or what is still available to me. All the other chemo regimens left to me are harder on the bone marrow than this one so the road ahead will probably be pretty bumpy. As you know, my blood counts haven't been good so who knows how long it can last. The shots won't work forever.

I've been under the weather the past two weeks with a virus or something. Last week when they cancelled chemo, I still had the temp on antibiotic. In fact, I still get a temp in the day (99.8 or so) and it comes down at night. I've been hacking up yucky stuff am slowly getting better but it has definitely zapped my energy. So it must be some type of virus. And I know, protect myself, but when the kids go to daycare for this summer, I try, but there is always someone sick to pass those germs back to me.

Started the research job at Marshall with WV-BRIN. Learning a lot - a few new techniques for biochemistry research. I do get tired during the day but I sit much of the time at a lab bench doing the work and sit and rest when I need to. I'm not sure why God wants me to do this, but I'm trusting He has a purpose with it all. If this program works out, WV-BRIN wants me to apply next year and write grants for my own research. [It sure seems like they all assume I will be around to apply. I just wish I could have that faith and trust at times like these when faced with such odds.]

I've been reading a lot about God's mercy for us from the diary of Saint Faustina, The Apostle of Mercy (thank you, Carol). She lived in a convent in Krakow, Poland in the 20s and 30s. After reading it I have become determined to trust in God's mercy (no small feat), I asked God to grant me a number that would show me that I should address His mercy to you in this email. I did not receive that type of number. However, whether or not I get a number that is "good", God's mercy is always there for you. He loves you and all you have to do is ask for it. One of the things I have asked from God is that all of us (all those I care for, have met, and who have prayed for me and our family) be in heaven one day together. And I do know that Jesus suffered for us so that we can be together in heaven. And I also believe that some people suffer more because it is God's will. Suffering when in union with God helps God to hear our prayers and we can become closer to God through our suffering. Therefore, the suffering I am going through now is often being offered for you all and for people, in general, to believe in God. I know that Jesus gave the ultimate sacrifice to God, the perfect sacrifice. But being obedient to God by offering up our suffering for Him and others is what God may want us to do - especially when there is no way to alleviate the suffering. He may not give me remission. But, praise the Lord, he's given me grace to suffer and be in union with God. He's given me grace to work on this research. He's given me grace to love. He's given me grace to raise my kids and be a wife to Tom. He's given the grace of email to alert all of you about my health (WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!). He's given me friends and family to bounce an email back to say, "Hey you can do it - I'm praying for you!!" He's given us the grace of science, chemo, and shots. He's given me the grace to keep going - especially when I feel down and there's no hope (usually that only lasts for one day which is truly a grace from God). He's given me the grace to live another day. He's given me the grace of faith (the little I do have - which is not even as big as a mustard seed). He's given me the grace of God's word and the sacraments. He's given me so many other graces that I must truly thank Him.

I know I said I would only talk about God's mercy unless I had a "substantial" drop. But God obviously knows me too well and knew I would inundate you with another email with "God" in it without the miracle I asked for. Remember, with God all things are possible.

Love, prayers, peace, and God's Mercy to all of you.

Chris

Sent: Saturday, June 28, 2003 1:52 PM

Subject: Had chemo on Wednesday

Hi all,

Just a note to let you know I did have chemo on Wednesday. I talk to the doctor next Wednesday. Feeling pretty good. Think I'm over that virus. Much better week this week for me. My neighbor brought me an article on a promising new drug in Stage II clinical trials that helps sensitize resistant ovarian cancer cells to low doses of chemotherapy called phenoxodiol, an isoflavonoid (thanks, Marie). It may not be ready for me now (we'll talk to the doctor about it), but it is definitely a God send for future reoccurrence and for others diagnosed with ovarian cancer who may become resistant to treatment. There is even a dimer of the structure that is proposed to work on breast cancer and may be started in clinical trials. That is really in the early stages, I think. Also while having chemo on Wednesday, I talked to one lady whose numbers were very similar to mine and hers went finally down to near normal this last time so it has given me hope again! Then another person (an elderly gentleman whose wife is undergoing chemo) told me on Wednesday that I have brightened the day for those people at chemo when I'm there. God knew I needed to hear that that day. It really made me feel better this week. With God all things are possible. Nothing like living on a wing and a prayer!

Research was great this week. I feel like I'm actually contributing to science and society with this breast cancer research. Ah, fulfilling a dream... Isn't that what makes life so great. It may not last, but I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts. It's given me so many ideas...

I feel so loved by God this week. He's shown me how much I've been blessed. Of course, my high spirits probably won't last long (hopefully for a while though), but I'm basking in God's glory this week. The kids had swimming lessons and did well. Megan passed level V. Jake, well, he passed Level I, but he's coming along. He is going to be in another session in July. The kids love their daycare experience this summer. They have gone to the Jackson Zoo, the Gym Factory, they're going swimming once a week, worked on community projects, learned Bible songs/verses, the States and their capitals, Jacob's 12 sons in the Bible, and much, much more (They never want to come home when I pick them up; that part makes me feel like I'm a bad mother!). So far God knows best. Just have to trust Him. One friend told me she has a charm bracelet that says, first you must BELIEVE, then you must TRUST, and then you must OBEY. All of these actions comprise our faith in God. I feel like my faith is increasing on this journey. I may not get remission, but I must believe that God's plan is better than MY plan. He works through all of us and His Mercy is for ALL!

Hope you have a great week. You know we can't do this without your prayers. Your prayers have truly lifted our family up so that we can cope with the hard stuff. So I've been praying especially for all of you to be abundantly blessed by God during your lifetime. Please don't let these graces go to waste. Please accept them and use them for God's greater plan to bless and bring others to Him.

Love and prayers to all of you.

Chris

P.S. We just got our new computer and we're still setting up the address book and stuff so let us know if you are receiving duplicates, whatnot, etc. We have to load certain software and stuff so bear with us as we try to get information out to everyone. Everyone probably enjoyed the break from so many emails from me during this time!

Sent: Friday, July 04, 2003 5:11 AM

Subject: Don't worry. Happy fourth.

Hi all,

I'm using my advice this time before I sending out this email. I've waited a day to logically and more rationally assess the situation. On Wednesday, the CA125 number was 797 or somesuch number. Before you get all upset, the doctor is having it rechecked. I definitely do not feel (in my body) like the number is that high. So I am keeping my cool about the number and waiting for confirmation. Therefore, any change in treatment or continuation with the current regimen will be dependent on the results which should be in next week. My feeling is that the number is wrong and will be bit lower than the previous 361. But we shall see. I'm not going to worry about it until we get confirmation of that number. That's why I haven't emailed yet.

There sure have been a lot of "monkey wrenches" thrown into this course of treatment, but I'm trusting that God is having it work out the way He wants. All I know is that it doesn't help to worry about it. So we'll let you know next week when we get the results.

Love and prayers to all. Happy fourth of July to all. Thank God for our freedom and this wonderful country.

Chris

Sent: Monday, July 07, 2003 3:14 PM

Subject: It is higher, unfortunately.

Hi all,

Unfortunately the CA125 number is 20 points higher (about 777). So it appears to be real. I haven't talked to the doctor about what this means. Let you know when I know.

Chris

Sent: Thursday, July 10, 2003 8:31 PM

Subject: Doxil, Doxil, who's got the Doxil?

Hi all,

The doctor and I talked and he wants to switch to Doxil, which uses a liposomal delivery system of a compound similar to adriamycin (a common breast cancer chemo drug). [Doxil looks like orange kool-aid when they infuse it.] The typical positive response rate is 20-30% (2-3 out of ten people will have their number come down or have 50% reduction in tumor size). This is a typical response rate for all chemo regimens here on out used for salvage treatment of ovarian cancer. This means anything after first line chemotherapy. I have read that those who have cancer that is platinum sensitive (mine was until recently) usually have better response rates. Hopefully this means I have a chance at the cancer responding to treatment. However, before treatment with Doxil can begin, I will need a mugascan. Huh?? What's that? I don't really know, except that I'm having one tomorrow morning and it is supposed to look at whether or not my heart can take this chemo. I guess Doxil is a bit hard on the heart (similar to adriamycin). So we should have the results of that scan on Monday. Assuming everything is OK with the mugascan, chemo will probably be on Wednesday. Since Doxil uses a liposomal delivery system it will circulate in the body for a longer time and each chemo will be every four weeks. I should be getting the shot (Neulasta) to help keep the WBC count up during the low times.

One negative with this treatment is that the CA125 number will likely take up to 4 or more treatments to come down (if it is going to come down). So it will be about 4 months from now to know if it is working. This is the scary part of this treatment. And we're not sure what happens if the number stays up and the treatment does not work. In one case, a woman's number climbed to 14,000 and they decided it wasn't working after the third treatment, then after another month (and switching treatments), the number came down 10,000 points. [14,000 is, in my mind, near death.] Doxil is harder on the bone marrow than Gemzar/Cisplatin (which I was just on) so I have no idea how that is going to work.

On the positive side, it is likely I'll keep my hair. But I'd give up my hair again any day during treatment to have remission again! On the positive side treatment is once every four weeks which will be easier on the van mileage driving to once a week treatments.

As for how I'm feeling, I can now tell the cancer is growing like a weed in my abdomen. There is quite a bit of intestinal tenderness and intestinal cramping. The cancer is likely lining the surface of the intestines now.

I certainly feel the odds are against us and I'll admit that I'm scared to death that it won't work. [But the odds for Doxil working ARE better than winning the Powerball Lottery!!! And I purchased one dollar's worth. Stupid me.] But maybe, just maybe, it'll keep me alive long enough for something better that might be coming out. [I asked the doctor about clinical trials and there aren't any in Charleston. So we'll have to keep that on the back burner for now.]

I don't even think I can ask you to pray for me this time even though I know your prayers have kept me going so far. They've given me the grace to do so much, by helping me to live a fulfilling life as wife, mother, researcher, and teacher. I don't know how long it will last, but I'll keep doing what I can as long as I can. I don't want you to stop praying for me and our family, but God's will for remission just doesn't seem to be there. Pray for yourselves, the world, and others. Keep the faith. Despite all the odds and circumstances, I do think my faith in God is increasing. Hopefully I'll have enough faith when God actually does call me home.

Love, prayers, and blessings to all of you.

Chris

From: Victor Raley

Sent: Friday, July 11, 2003 8:13 AM

Subject: Re: Doxil, Doxil, who's got the Doxil?

Tom and Julie are going to run a 15 mile marathon on August 30th and have asked if anyone would like to donate a dollar a mile to both of them for Chris' fund? Anyone interested please send money to Chris and Tom.

Thanks

Char Raley

Address:

Tom Guetzloff

9 Hillsdale Circle

Scott Depot, WV 25560

Great idea Tom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sent: Tuesday, July 15, 2003 5:32 AM

Subject: Mugascan, chemo, and 15 mile run.

Hi all,

Chemo is scheduled for tomorrow. The mugascan came back OK. It measures how well the heart pumps out the blood with each beat. If the chemo stays in the heart too long then it can damage the heart and cause heart failure or heart attacks (I think). So it looks like my heart is OK. [They took my blood out and tagged it with a radioactive tracer, injected it back in, and watched it on the instrument.]

I was sick this weekend. Not really sure what it is, but I'm not fully over it. Over the weekend I had a fever (up to 100.4) and had to lie in bed all day. Yesterday I did go to work. The fever made it to 99.9. And I was really tired last night. The fever does go down at night and in the morning. It seems like it goes up when I do something. I don't have a sore throat or any other symptoms except for diarrhea (which I've had for a month - doctor says that is probably related to the cancer in my abdomen or having been on antibiotics).

Needless to say I'm a bit nervous about starting another chemo (this is normal and happens each time I do).

Tom is serious about running the 15 mile run at the Regatta. As for the pledging a dollar a mile, that is totally his doing. Tom has wanted to run the New York marathon since he was young watching it on TV. Last year when the cancer came back he wanted to run the marathon this year. But he missed the signups for this year. So he is starting small. He ran a 10 K this past weekend at the Putnum County Fair. He did well. He finished and was happy with his time. [I'll let him tell you times if he so desires.] Now his next goal is the 15 mile at the Regatta in Charleston, WV. I know he thinks this is something he can do for me. He told me, "If you can handle the pain, I can handle the pain and maybe take some from you". How sweet. But this idea is his. My sister, Julie, has been running for awhile and is willing to train for the 15 mile run, too. I've even heard inklings that one brother may be coerced into running with them. All I care about is that they train properly so that no one gets hurt or dehydrated.

Well, you know me, more than money pledged for the runners from your pocketbook, you can pledge to challenge yourself spiritually. It would mean a lot to me if you pledged to do something more than give money as in:

• pray 15 Our Fathers, or
• pray 15 rosaries, or
• pray 15 Chaplets of Divine Mercy, or
• pray 15 prayers from the heart, or
• read 15 chapters from the Bible, or
• memorize 15 Bible verses, or
• give $15 or 15% to your Church or worthy cause, or
• forgive 15 people who have wronged you, or
• forgive your coworkers and bosses 15 times, or
• bite your tongue 15 times when complaining, or
• think of 15 positive things to say, or
• sing 15 songs giving glory to God, or
• smile 15 times, or at 15 people, or
• thank God for 15 blessings, or
• give praise to God 15 times, or
• and the list could go on and on...(it's up to you)

Think of what your situation is in life and how 15 small little things could help make life brighter for yourself and others. Then do it. By no means, do you have to write and tell me what you pledged. That is between you and the Maker.

Hoping chemo goes well tomorrow and that it works.

Love and prayers to all.

Chris

Sent: Saturday, July 19, 2003 5:11 PM

Subject: Prayer request

Hi all,

Had chemo on Wednesday. Not feeling too well (don't think it's from the Doxil). Feeling very weak with a low grade fever. Am in bed almost all day. Ascitis is building up in my abdomen. Had to come home early from work on Friday.

Could you say some prayers for my cousin, Brad Luze and his wife, Mindy from South Dakota? They were pregnant and due late October. But the placenta was functioning only 30% and she had high blood pressure so they had to deliver the baby boy today by C-section. He weighed 1 lb 11 oz. Very small, but Barb (my aunt and his grandmother) said he's a fighter. He was born on the anniversary of my cancer diagnosis (July 19), which was two years ago today. Thank you for your prayers. Take care and keep the faith.

Love,

Chris

Sent: Monday, July 21, 2003 12:01 PM

Subject: Update

An update from my aunt is listed below regarding my cousin's baby, which they named Bretton Alan. Thanks for your prayers thus far. As for me, the doctor/nurse is looking into whether or not I have C-diff (a nasty bacterial intestinal infection you get when you've been on too many antibiotics). I still have the fever, but we're hoping the antibiotic for C-diff takes care of that. My ascitis is still getting worse and I can't keep much down. I've been vomiting and I may have to have some of the fluid tapped off if it gets worse. I feel like I am 6 months pregnant. Ascitis is the fluid that builds up around tumors and collects in the abdomen. When I was diagnosed with the cancer (two years ago with a tumor the size of a fist) I felt about 9 months pregnant.

Still feeling crummy,

Chris

******************************************************************************************************************

Bretton Alan Luze was born on Saturday July 19th at 12:05 P.M. He is doing well. They waited until 2:A.M. Sunday morning to put him on a ventilator. The nurses say he is doing very good, they expected him to goon the ventilator right away. The ventilator is not a bad thing, it will make it easier on Bretton. Mindy will probably get out Tuesday or Wednesday. Then they will work out the details of where she will stay in Sioux Falls, She has an Aunt and Uncle there. Will try to keep everyone updated.

Phil & Barb

Sent: Tuesday, July 22, 2003 2:40 PM

Hi all,

The test came back and it was not C-diff. So that puts us back to square one. My fever is getting a bit higher (100.9). I'll probably have to go to the ER tonight or tomorrow to get the ascitis drained off. Maybe they'll admit me. Who knows. I can't eat anything. I feel 9 months pregnant. Somehow this cancer is growing like the seed was planted in fertile soil.

I just hope this isn't the beginning of the end. But God's plan is divine.

Love and prayers to all.

Chris

Sent: Wednesday, July 23, 2003 10:14 AM

Hi all,

We went to the ER to have the ascitis drained. Unfortunately, it is not ascitis in the classical sense that it can be drained off (did not show up on the X-ray). Doctor thinks all my problems are related to the cancer. Have to wait for the Doxil to kick in.

Thanks for the prayers.

Chris

Sent: Tuesday, July 29, 2003 7:07 AM

Subject: Dr. Called

Family and Friends,

Just got off the phone with the doctor about the Cat-Scan. I'm upset while I'm writing this so please forgive me on the typos, etc.

The pressure is caused by the cancer. She does have ascities but it is localized in the high portion of her belly. This ascities is not free flowing, so it might be difficult to tap. We are going to take her to the hospital and see if we can have it drained (keep in mind it might not). So this relief will only be a short-term solution.

The long-term solution is to kill the cancer. She is on chemo and all we can do is basically wait. If the chemo works the ascities will slowly go away. The good news is there are no major growths on the cat scan. So nothing showed up on the scan but the resolution of the instrument does not see growths smaller than a quarter (give or take). Hopefully things will turn around for her on that front.

It looks like we will be taking her to the hospital today. So if you call and we are not around, we are at the hospital. If more major info comes up, we will try to let you guys know ASAP. Thanks for the support.

Tom

Sent: Tuesday, July 29, 2003 6:15 PM

Subject: Re: Dr. Called

Chris did get some fluid removed today. She had 4.5 Liters of ascities removed and she feels better. She is tired but she is eating a lot more than in the past. There were no contaminants in the ascities fluid such as blood, etc. This is good because it is reassuring the CAT scan results that the cancer has not advanced into the organs. The short-term task has been taken care of and now we need the long-term task to be completed.

Tom

Sent: Thursday, August 07, 2003 1:00 PM

Subject: Miracle at Hillsdale Cir

Family and Friends,

The praying has finally paid off. What I'm going to tell you is basically unheard of with Doxil. Chris’ number is 454, which is down from 783ish last time. The doctor has said he has never heard of the first regiment of Doxil to be this effective. An independent verification of this is that Chris has not needed to be tapped so far (although there is still more ascitis buildup). He mentioned from his experience that when a person has cancer "running a muck", the person usually needs to be tapped every two or three days. However, Chris is malnourished because of not being able to eat much.

So, thank you everyone for the prayers and constant thoughts. Keep in mind this one small step and the marathon is not over. So keep praying and keep us in your thoughts. It does work and through God everything is possible.

Tom

P.S. Chris is very happy.

Sent: Tuesday, August 12, 2003 5:17 PM

Subject: Chemo #2

Hi all,

Boy, have I been tired! All this malnourishment from not being able to eat has really worn me out. From last weeks' lab results you have heard that the CA125 number has come down (which it usually does not until the 3-4 chemo with Doxil). That is great. I'm hoping it is a correct number. However, the lab results also showed I am malnourished. My hemoglobin is low (8.4) and the serum transferrin is quite low, too. I am already on the procrit shots. I'm hoping this is because I'm malnourished and not because my bone marrow is shot. I've been feeling quite "yucky" since I started this treatment. I get fevers every night (usually up to 101.3ish). Then the fever breaks in the night so my temp is normal for a few hours in the morning. I feel very weak and am very tired. I still have ascitis but I'm hopeful that it may come down with the next chemo. Or I'll have to get it "tapped" again.

Chemo #2 is scheduled for tomorrow. Thank you for all your prayers.

We've had quite a few visitors and helpers lately. Chuck, Chris, and Charlie Richter, Bev Guetzloff, Betsy Lehmkuhl and Julie Richter, Char Raley and Deb Hartmann and the Petersen's from Tabor (Steve, Kristi, Nathan, Matthew, and Kaitlyn). Thank you everyone for your help and positive outlook for me.

Trying to get some energy,

Chris

Sent: Monday, August 18, 2003 3:14 PM

Subject: Chris is at the hospital

Chris is at the hospital (Women and Children's in Charleston). She is getting a blood transfusion at about 8:00 PM tonight. The X-Ray demonstrated no blockage in the bowels. So it appears that dreaded ascities is the culprit. Hopefully, the transfusion and tapping will work.

Tom

Sent: Tuesday, August 19, 2003 4:06 AM

Subject: Chris #4

Chris did finally get her blood transfusion last night. I just talked to her and she says the procedure went off with out any incidents. I should be able to see her today around 11:00 AM. This procedure looks to me as a stabilizing technique. Now they need to stop her stomach discomfort and vomiting. What I do know is that she does not have blockage in the bowels and she does not have pneumonia. I have the impression that if they can remove the ascities in the short term, she should be able to eat again and keep her food down. I don't know how long she will be in the hospital either. I will let you go and thanks for the support.

Tom

Sent: Tuesday, August 19, 2003 6:07 PM

Subject: Chris the roller coaster ride

I visited Chris for over 5 hours today. I thought she was fine! I'm not sure what is going on now! Chris vomited in front of the doctor and this contains a green substance. Chris guesses it was bile and the doctor is going to put a tube down into her stomach area so it can be evacuated. My mother thinks it could be the gall bladder again. Not sure, but Chris is asking for your prayers tonight. She is feeling alone and scared. I'm home with the kids but I will see her tomorrow.

Tom

Sent: Wednesday, August 20, 2003 7:34 PM

Subject: Bad News about Chris

Just got back from the hospital. Chris got tapped today. They got 2 cups out of her. It had blood in it though. Not sure what the total significance of that is but I know that is something we don't want. She still has about a 101-102 temperature during the day. She is on three antibiotics trying to combat her fever etc. She has some pain still but she can take medicine if she wants too. I still feel the doctors are just probing and are not sure what is going on exactly. She probably has several things going on that are all contributing to her illness. I don't want to speculate what is going on with her. If you want to call her please leave it short her number is XXX-XXX-XXXX. She definitely needs her strength and sleep.

Tom

Sent: Friday, August 22, 2003 3:46 AM

Subject: Update

Nothing really new has occurred. She still has a fever at night. I think she was at 101.8 last night. She got sick also yesterday at least two times. The surgeon (different than Schiano) talked to Chris about a gall bladder surgery. The immediate problem with surgery is that since she has ascities, this will complicate things because of the infection possibilities. So the only way the surgery will occur is if the cancer goes down or she gets drained again. They are doing more cultures on her stool and blood samples. The results typically take two to six days. She will see your ob/gyn/oncologist today. So maybe we will have more news.

As for me I guess I'm ok. I'm still trying to run for next Saturday. I will try to run twelve miles on this Saturday. My classes start on this Monday. So I'm getting very busy, which helps my mind think clearly.

Tom

Sent: Saturday, August 23, 2003 3:46 PM

Subject: Chris update

We met with the doctor today. Chris does not have much ascities in her. This means that the chemo seems to be working fairly well. In fact, it appears the ascities is a small volume. Her blood and urine culture have come back negative so far. The doctor is ordering more tests on that to be sure that her fever is not caused by bacterium. Chris still has a fever and it appears to be caused by the cancer. I guess the cancer can put chemicals in the blood stream that can affect the body’s temperature. Chris is getting sick about two times a day still. But the doctor feels if she can get over this hump she will be able to eat. She does have a small pancake size tumor (there are others but smaller insider her) on her stomach/bowel. The doctor believes it is not blocking her track at all. The doctor is going to talk to the surgeon to see if they can remove the gall bladder. He believes this is a cause of her discomfort. I'm for it,so that we will never have that variable to worry about. The doctor feels/thinks she is strong enough for the surgery and her blood work is normal enough for the surgery.

Also, whomever calls Chris do not rehash any of this information or past or future information with her about her present day condition. She has expressed this to her father and me. You can ask her how she is doing etc. but going over all of the doctors discussions is a drain on her. If you have any of these questions, you can always call me (304)-757-0362 and I will try my best to answer what I know. The doctor feels if all goes well she should be able to go home next week sometime. He has also mentioned that he will not release her until she can eat. Any some of you know, she has been unable to eat for over a week now.

I was able to run twelve miles today. I want to thank everyone who has given us money for the run. You will be receiving a thank you card soon and hopefully some exciting pictures.

Tom

Sent: Sunday, August 24, 2003 7:52 AM

Subject: Chris update

The address for the "run for Chris" is:

Thanks for the donations.

Chris is doing ok I guess. She got sick last night. She is now on some form of marijuana that will help her stomach. It does not contain the THC for those who wanted some supply. Ha Ha.

Tom

Sent: Monday, August 25, 2003 5:41 AM

Subject: Chris

Chuck and Jackie are going to stay until this Sunday. They will leave early Sunday morning about 8:30 and arrive in South Dakota around noon. I guess they are going to move their party back until 3:00 ish/4:00ish. Nancy, Zeke, and Ginger they might need your help so maybe you can come around 1:00ish.

Chris had a fever last night that reached at 102.5. They gave her some hydro-codone last night and her fever went back to normal. The doctor has a family member dying also, so he will be gone a couple of days. Not sure if the gall bladder surgery will occur early in this week, if at all (needs to find a surgeon for the surgery). Chris only got sick once yesterday and that was after she took some medicine. She was able to keep most of her breakfast and lunch down. So that is very encouraging. When I talked to her this morning she has not thrown up since. So hopefully the marijuana will help her keep her food down. I start school today and the kids tomorrow. Chuck and Jackie will learn about getting kids ready for a 6:45 AM bus ride. So hopefully all this will soon pass and Chris will be home probably within 10 to 14 days from now. Assuming everything goes her way.

Tom

From: Chad & Ginger Rasmussen

Sent: Monday, August 25, 2003 7:11 PM

Subject: Re: Chris update

Dear Family,

For those of you who are calling Chris, be forewarned that she is on some pretty heavy medication... ( The nurses said they are going to be downing the dosage soon.) She is acting impaired. Tom said she is almost acting drunk. Don't take everything she is saying as absolute truth and/or don't be offended by anything she may say... Keeping in mind some of this could be caused by sleep deprivation. In fact this morning, after talking with someone, she came to the conclusion that I was mad at her. Elevated temperature could cause some of the dilutions but it is probably due to the drugs.

With love,

Ginger

Sent: Tuesday, August 26, 2003 3:06 AM

Subject: Chris

Chris will be in the hospital for minimum for two weeks (my best guess). Dr. Schiano's sister is ill and he is taking this whole week off. Chris is definitely not feeling her pain when she is on the marijuana. They are going to cut her pain killer in half. She gets impaired like this when she is on codeine sometimes also. But she is still getting sick. But her appetite is coming back. Next time I will get the address for the hospital to everyone just in case you want to send a card, etc.

Thanks.

Tom

Sent: Tuesday, August 26, 2003 4:59 PM

Subject: Chris

I don't have all the information for the hospital yet. But Chris’ swallowing test seemed to pass with flying colors. The test did show some ascities around the stomach. Chris just informed me that they might try a swallowing specialist to figure out why she can not eat. I guess, Chris should be able to eat but they still don't know why.

Tom

PS Megan lost her 10th tooth today. The kids had fun on their first day of school.

Sent: Thursday, August 28, 2003 4:58 PM

Subject: Chris

800 Pennsylvania Ave.

Charleston, WV 25302

Chris is finally going to get some relief with her diet. They will give her an IV with some ensure in it. I have been trying for a while to convince the doctors about this for about a week now. Chris is going to have a small blood transfusion tonight. She is going to get at least one pint tonight. She still has a slight fever. Less than 48 hours to the run. I ran five miles today at a casual pace and I felt great. Laura arrived today and Julie will fly in tomorrow.

Tom

P.S. If you are going to send flowers/ cards, you will need to get them out soon. I don't know what will happen when the doctor comes back from his family emergency. I assume she will stay in at least to then.

Sent: Friday, August 29, 2003 12:06 PM

Subject: 15 mile run

Photos/Graphics: · Tom Guetzloff

Man Running To Support His Wife Through Cancer

Chris Stirewalt, Daily Mail Staff

Friday August 29, 2003; 10:00 AM

Tom Guetzloff can't cure his wife's ovarian cancer, and he can't take away the pain of her chemotherapy.

But he needed to do something to stay sane -- to feel less helpless. So Guetzloff, who had never been very fleet of foot, started running.

He told his wife, Chris, that since she had to stick with her treatments, he'd stick with his training.

"If my wife can go through the pain, then I can, too. I can turn it off anytime I want. I can just quit running. She can't." Guetzloff said. "When I get to the bottom of that big hill and want to just walk up, I think about that and my pain seems like no big deal.

"I feel selfish to even be thinking about it."

Five months and 40 pounds later, Guetzloff, a chemistry professor at West Virginia State College, is ready to lace up for the Charleston Distance Run. He isn't expecting to be the first across the line, but he does see running in Saturday's 15-mile race as a major victory.

The only thing that would make it sweeter is if his wife could be there to see his accomplishment.

She has been at Women and Children's Hospital for the past 11 days after the chemotherapy made her unable to eat or bear exposure to the sun. Chris Guetzloff has asked to be released Saturday, even if it's just long enough to watch her husband run by, but doctors haven't given her the green light so far.

The battle with the disease has been made all the more frustrating for the couple because they are both scientists. They met and married 12 years ago while attending South Dakota State University, and have both gone on into research and academia.

"It's ironic that Chris was doing cancer research herself when she was diagnosed. She was doing breast cancer research because that's what killed her mom," Guetzloff said. "She always thought breast cancer was what she had to worry about herself. She never even thought about ovarian cancer."

When Chris Guetzloff was diagnosed just over two years ago, the couple was stunned. It had been only seven months since her last visit to the gynecologist. By their estimation, it took only two months for the tumor to grow from something too small to detect into a lump the size of a fist.

"They call ovarian cancer the silent killer, and with good reason," Tom Guetzloff said. "Women have to get checked every six months. It's imperative, because early detection is really still the only hope."

That has been his wife's call to action since she was diagnosed. On a Web-based forum for friends and family, Chris Guetzloff asks for and sends prayers and support, but she also urges everyone to spread the word about early detection.

"She's been an inspiration to a lot of people," Tom Guetzloff said. "There she is so sick she can't eat, and she's worried about other people and their problems. It's just proof of her strength."

Tom Guetzloff didn't need any proof of that, though.

The couple's 6-year-old son, Jacob, was diagnosed as autistic when he was a toddler, and has provided plenty of tests for his parents' will since then. Each pursuing their own careers and raising a daughter who is now 8, the Guetzloffs decided they would do everything they could to help Jacob live a normal life.

Jacob started at Scott Teays Elementary this week, without a helper and in regular classes. His father said that the family struggled with the challenge, but came through even stronger.

"It hasn't always been easy, but I can't think of anything more rewarding," Tom Guetzloff said.

Chris Guetzloff's sister is coming into Charleston from Texas to run the race with her brother-in-law and provide moral support on the big hills. Several family members also will be on the course to cheer on Tom Guetzloff, who will be wearing No. 118.

Offers of financial support have been there all along, but the Guetzloffs always refused them, wanting to fight the battle on their own. But Tom Guetzloff says they might not be able to hold out much longer.

"We are doing the best we can, but sometimes you feel like you're wearing thin," he said. "But we're going to keep going. What else can we do?"

Anyone interested in offering words of support can reach Tom Guetzloff by e-mail at guetzloff@citynet.net.

Writer Chris Stirewalt can be reached at 348-4824.

Photo: Chip Ellis

Tom Guetzloff

Tom Guetzloff won't be among the fastest at the Charleston Distance Run, but the former football player went from being able to run a quarter mile to a six-mile morning regimen since he started training the week before Easter.

Sent: Saturday, August 30, 2003 11:53 AM

Subject: The Race

Julie and I made it through the race today. Julie says she's already blocked out the race so that she will be able to run another long race. I'm more of the military type, I'm starting to get flash backs of portions of the race. Julie ran her 15 miles in 2:35 ish and I ran mine in 2:44 ish (Julie 10.33 minutes per mile/ Tom 10.93 minutes per mile) . As most of you know, we planned on running together but, I had a problem. We ran with T-Shirts about Chris and we got a lot of compliments. Way to go Julie and Chuck Jr on the designs. When I train on these long runs, I use a polyester type shirt that is able to use my natural sweat to cool me down. About the 7th mile (little under a 10 minute pace for both of us), my left arm started to tingle and my whole body started to have the "chills" So, Julie took off and went on her way with my blessing but she did try a couple of times to inspire me to run. I was having heat exhaustion type symptoms, which I seem to be prone too. For about a half a mile to a mile I walked, started to cry, and pray. How can I finish this when I could not run? Then it came to me, I took in plenty of water throughout the race but maybe I'm just to hot, so I took off my shirt. This made me feel so much better, and I was able to run almost immediately. In fact, if I have not trained for this race, I don't think I could have started to run again. But the real news was that Chris was able to show up at the finishing line for Julie and myself. I asked for an extra medal for Chris and they gave me one. She had tears in her eye and seemed to like it. A group of Kenyans won the race, with the winning time of 1:16:08. A little over a five minute mile but it did rain a couple times during the race. Julie and I went to the reception and had a good time. Laura was very nice used her small/nice camcorder to document the occasion. Chuck, Jackie, and Jake picked up mom after they went to the police station. I called Felicia Ramsey last night and she was able to have a neighbor on the police force (Chuck the neighbor) to allow Chris and the family to be on the track. Thanks Felicia and Chuck the neighbor. So it was a big group effort and with everything that happened, it went off pretty much without a hitch. Thanks for the prayers and support for Julie and mine run.

Tom

Sent: Monday, September 01, 2003 8:12 AM

Subject: Chris

Chris is probably depressed. She is getting sick of the being in the hospital and who will blame her. The doctor wants to give her Zoloft but she is hesitant. She knows it is supposed to be non-habit forming but she does not want anything messing with her head. The doctor thinks she might have yeast infection because of the antibiotics. If this is not the case then they will put a camera in her stomach tomorrow to determine her digestion problem. Chuck and Jackie left on Sunday. Julie will leave today. Laura will leave early Tuesday. My mother is thinking about coming out on the 11ish. My neighbors are going to help me out on Monday, Tuesday and Wed.'s until my mother is coming out. I believe Marie Burton is going to help on this Wed. 3rd, Mon. 8th and Wed. 10th. I think Felicia Ramsey is going to watch the kids on Tuesday the 2nd and Tuesday the 9th. If any of these are wrong please let me know. Other than that, I have pretty much all the help I need right now. Basically, Julie and I with your wonderful help has reached the $1000.00 mark on the charity run for Chris. We would like to thank everyone that has contributed. When Chris gets back from the hospital I'm sure she will try to thank everyone again. Thanks for Chuck and Jackie's week of support, I know the grandchildren just miss them so much. Thanks Julie and Laura for coming out and helping. Thanks for the prayers and support.

Tom

Sent: Tuesday, September 02, 2003 6:21 PM

Subject: The latest

Chris will be having a procedure tomorrow that will involve a camera going into the digestive track. Not sure at the time and she will be knocked out. I'm hoping some of the locals on the chemo list could possibly go see her tomorrow/today. She would like some visitors because she is getting lonely. Also, her family left her and she always gets very lonely. Chris pretty much cried the entire morning after taking her Zoloft. If you are going to visit, just plan to stay up to an hour or so. I assume her procedure will be done from 8:00 AM to Noon (she is not getting breakfast served to her either). Best shot to see her after the procedure would be from 3:00 PM to 9:00PM. I have to be at work from 1:00 PM to 8:00 PM and I will need to get home back ASAP for the kids. Just took a web-cast doctor seminar on Ovarian cancer today. Very interesting!! I had a lot of my theories confirmed into this dreaded disease. The prognosis does not look good as most of you that have researched it know. They have claimed that there is some good treatments down the pipe. Chris’ doctor is back and actually saw Chris today. I know, it is almost a small miracle in itself. Laura left today. So the house is empty. Everyone was so helpful. Laura is going to make a CD of the portions of the race. I received a little over ten people (not on this email list) emailing me for encouragement from the article. Chris enjoyed them when I showed her them and some pictures of the race yesterday. I want to thank you guys for the continued support.

Tom

Sent: Wednesday, September 03, 2003 6:53 AM

Subject: Chris’ procedure

I know some of you like myself like to pray when medical procedure is occurring to help give strength to the patient. I thought some of you would like to know Chris is going to be taken to the other hospital about 10:30 EST. So I'm assuming the procedure will start around 11:30 AM to Noon. So if you can say a few words in her behalf around that time it will be appreciated. Thanks.

Tom

Sent: Wednesday, September 03, 2003 12:59 PM

Subject: Re: Chris’ procedure

Just got back from the hospital. Chris does not have anything wrong with her stomach. They might make her drink some BaSO4 and take some X-rays to see where the obstruction is in her lower digestive track. I have been talking to a person that knows something about ovarian cancer in the late term and that person has told me another reason but it would not be appropriate to tell Chris. I have told my mother and Ginger about that theory but I don't want this to be made public and especially to Chris.. If you really need to know you can ask them but that information was a very disturbing to me and remember it is just a theory. She is still very tired, so I unplugged the phone with her blessing, so that she can get some sleep. I will see her late tonight and hopefully, I will remember to plug it in the jack. Also, it appears that she will be tapped tonight because all of the equipment was in the room. I need to run to class.

Tom

Sent: Thursday, September 04, 2003 5:19 AM

Subject: Recap on Chris and announcements

Chris has been throwing up for approximately 21 days now (days before going in and 17 days in the hospital). She has thrown up at least once a day even when she took the Marinol. Chris has also had fevers almost every day for the last month or so. Some of her fevers were in the low 100s and others much higher than that. Every day I go in the hospital it reminds me of the movie "Ground Hog Day" except without the snow.

Chris will have the tapping and BaSO4 procedure today. Hopefully, they can get over 4 quarts like they did the first time. She definitely is getting distended and even greater than the last visitors. This will make her feel much better. The "Texan" ( I like him) is going to do the tapping and he is the only doctor that has successfully tapped Chris. Hopefully, the BaSO4 test will be definitive and we actually have an option to help Chris from not getting sick all of the time when she eats.

Chris had her blood work taken for the CA-125 yesterday. She is scheduled for chemo on Wed assuming her blood work is normal. We both assume the results will come at the earliest on Friday and the latest on Monday.

Sunday the kids, James Mayhugh (fill in for Chris) and I are going to the Bengal's game (a nice father day gift from Chris and the kids). That would probably be a good day to go visit Chris in the hospital. We won't get home until after visiting hours.

My mother is planning on flying out on Sept. 11 (she is brave women) and is scheduled to depart on October 2. Sounded like that she will extend or shorten her departure depending on how Chris is doing.

The kids stayed at the Burtons and Ramsey's this week. The same will occur next week. I think the kids are doing alright, especially that they have things to do in school. I'm just busy as heck, with a grant do on this Tuesday and getting prepped for classes.

I want to thank Chuck and Jackie for staying extra to help out and see Chris. That really helped her emotionally, as did Laura and Julie for coming out and helping out with Chris.

Thanks for the support,

Tom

Sent: Thursday, September 04, 2003 8:44 AM

Subject: Re: Recap on Chris and announcements

Chris called and she is taking the phone off the hook. There is no obstruction in her bowels and they are hoping that she can eat if they can drain the fluid out. Not sure when the tapping will occur today. Lets keep our fingers crossed.

Tom

Sent: Friday, September 05, 2003 4:23 AM

Subject: Day 18

Chris was successfully tapped last night and they collected a little bit over a gallon. The fluid was really dark compared to the last successful tap. Not sure about the significance. Her hemoglobin is at a 6.4 ish and this means she will have to go through her third transfusion sometime today. Chris thinks this is why she was not able to get out of bed last night because she was feeling dizzy. She did get sick again last night taking her medicines and all of her dinner did not digest. Hopefully, this is just a lingering effect from the pressure of the fluid on her stomach. Not sure about when or if the brain CAT scan will occur or not. Chris’ abdomen was very tender after the tapping and this sensation was pretty much the same as the last time she got successfully tapped. The kids have soccer practice tonight and then their first game on Saturday. I will take them tonight after practice. Today is surgery day (not for her) and she should probably see Dr. Schiano today. So hopefully, we might get some insights on when she can come home.

Tom

Sent: Friday, September 05, 2003 9:27 AM

Subject: Re: Day 18

She is getting her blood transfusion right now. Also, she is not getting the nutrition through the IV anymore (took her off this morning), I guess they are trying to see if she can eat without getting sick.

Sent: Saturday, September 06, 2003 5:21 AM

Subject: Day 19

Chris is off the nutrition bag that flows through her IV and that was done in the afternoon yesterday. So, she is trying to get her nutrition from just eating. Unfortunately, she did get sick last night. She had a slight fever, also. She did look well last night and I think that was because she was going to get sick. But she sounded much better this morning. Off to the soccer games this morning. We will see her this afternoon.

Sent: Saturday, September 06, 2003 5:54 PM

Subject: Re: Day 19

Chris might be let go on Monday. Chris said that Dr. Schiano might let her go on Monday. So lets keep our fingers crossed.

Sent: Monday, September 08, 2003 4:02 AM

Subject: Day 21

It looks like I will be picking up Chris today and taking her home. Unfortunately I have bad news, Chris’ CA-125 number is 1150 (up big time) now. She is bummed out about this. Her number seems correct because she gained four pounds of water weight (ascities) since she has been tapped.

The kids had a blast at the Bengal’s game. They got to buy a Bengal's stuff animal (twenty dollars) and twenty dollars of food (we packed lunch and a bunch of snacks. James was able to get a bag of apples through security, go figure. We all had a great time. On the way home Jake baptized the van by getting carsick. Luckily, we just stopped for gas, and we could use all of the free blue towels we needed to clean him up and the van. Yes, he took a bath when he got home, for those who are nervous to know that there is another Mr. Mom out there. Chris has taught me well. Hopefully, the next time I write, Chris will be home for a while.

Tom

Sent: Monday, September 08, 2003 7:20 AM

Subject: Chris is home

Chris is actually home as I type. No need to call the hospital. Thank goodness! She will be on a new chemo this Wed. It is called Taxitere (not sure on the spelling) a Taxol derivative. This will be weekly and she is supposed to be on this for twelve treatments.

Tom

Sent: Tuesday, September 09, 2003 7:22 AM

Subject: Chris

It is great having Chris at home. She did get sick this morning but we did not have her anti nausea medicine. So we got her medicine this morning (tired last night) after our insurance company wanted our doctor's office to make sure she needs it because there is no generic drug available. So, hopefully she will be feeling better and keeping her food down Just took her on a walk. I will be off from school soon. Just sent out another batch of thank you notes for Chris’ medical fund. Thanks again for those that have contributed to the fund ( little above $1350).

Tom

Sent: Tuesday, September 09, 2003 9:32 AM

Subject: Jailbreak

Hi all,

Yes, it's true. I am out of jail. We made a jailbreak yesterday. However, my parole may last for a while. I am weak and am still having a tough time eating. My stomach has shrunk quite a bit. And I don't have an appetite. I am forcing myself to drink Boost/Ensure, etc. It is no easy task. I still have a fever, which I'm trying to control by alternating Motrin and Tylenol. So even though I'm out of the hospital I am not out of the woods. Today I didn't get my prevacid in time and I vomited. (There was an insurance snafu). I now have it and am hopeful the vomiting will end again, too.

I will be getting a new treatment tomorrow (taxotere). Hopefully it will curb the ascitis that is fast building up again. I really don't like being tapped and having to have a blood transfusion all the time. But I am truly grateful for those out there who give blood because I used 6 units.

As for my mental state, I am truly depressed. I am on Zoloft now and hopefully it will start working soon. I've had a tough time praying while in the hospital. Not that I don't believe or have lost my faith, just that I was too depressed to pray like I usually do. But I believe many of your prayers were helping me to be sustained while I could not. Many times in the hospital I just wished I could die. But I did not. So I must continue.

Thank you for all the prayers and money given to Tom when he ran the 15 M run. I was so proud of him (and my sister). He has been a rock for the kids and me. I don't know how he has done it. I do know God is helping him. He deserves a better life than this. Hopefully we'll be blessed with a better go of chemo this time.

I have such a wonderful family and set of friends. Thank you to those who called, visited, sent cards/gifts, and prayers while I was in the hospital. I don't think I'll have enough energy to send thank you notes so please don't be offended if you don't get one from me.

Love and prayers to all.

Chris

Sent: Friday, September 12, 2003 4:09 AM

Subject: Chris

Chris is still depressed but she seems to be getting a little bit better. She might have some ascities occurring but no where near the point in being tapped. She still is having some pain in the abdomen. My mother made it out without a hitch. Work is going reasonably well under the circumstances. Have a nice weekend.

Tom

Sent: Monday, September 15, 2003 12:53 PM

Subject: A week

Chris just got sick today and yesterday but other than that she seems much better than last week in the hospital. She got her blood work done today for her chemo this Wed. She does have some pain in her abdomen and we are not sure what that means. She might have some ascities building up but it is not even close to be tapped yet. She had a slight fever last night also.

Jake and Megan scored one goal each at their soccer games. My mother got to see Jake score his goal and she thought it was neat. Have a nice week.

Tom

Sent: Tuesday, September 16, 2003 3:46 PM

Subject: Chris

As of 6:45 EST, Chris was able to keep her food down today but we just ate dinner (keep our fingers crossed). Chris is on for chemo tomorrow at 9:00 AM EST. So I will be probably not email you guys for a couple of days. She seemed better today.

Tom

Sent: Wednesday, September 17, 2003 9:27 AM

Subject: Chemo

Chemo went off without a hitch!

Sent: Sunday, September 21, 2003 8:30 AM

Subject: Update

Chris is feeling better and sounding better the last three days or so. She still has ascities however, but the key thing is that she is eating and moving around. Chris, went to Jake's B-day (Jake is Seven Now) party at Putt-Putt yesterday. We were there for about for three hours and she sat at a table and talked to our neighbors. She went to a ACS picnic for a hour on Friday as well. Chris has not been sick since the last time I emailed you. She does feel pain in her abdomen and is starting to feel uncomfortable from the ascities. She is about 3/4 full in her abdomen so she needs to get bigger before she gets tapped. She will get her CA-125 taken this Wed. I'm confident that this chemo is working because of her recent improvements. I also believe that this chemo will take at least four treatments before her ascities will decrease. So this Wed will be her third treatment of twelve. So hopefully, the next time I email you, all the information will be positive.

Thanks for the prayers.

Tom

P.S. Megan won her soccer game but Jake lost.

Sent: Tuesday, September 23, 2003 5:58 PM

Subject: New Update

Chris had three liters tapped tonight. She is scheduled for her third chemo tomorrow. The tapped material was very dark like Guinness Beer. This color was apparently from denatured blood that was from previous bleeding from past tappings. So, she is feeling much relieved from the tapping. She is able to breath again.

Thanks for the support.

Tom

Sent: Monday, September 29, 2003 5:24 AM

Subject: Chris

Chris had a pretty good weekend. We finally went out on the town (on Saturday) from a gift from my research group (Thanks again). They bought a weekend package at the Hampton Inn that included dinner, hotel, and a movie. Chris ordered the filet minion and I had a Texas sirloin, that was pretty good. That was so thoughtful. Grandma and the kids had their own entertainment, primarily the card game called UNO and two Disney movies rented from Blockbuster. Chris did had her low this Sunday (this seems to be the norm for this chemo regiment). She will get to see the doctor today and get her CA-125 results (she had two taken this time). Chris' ascities seems to be coming back and she does still have some stomach discomfort/pain. Not sure in what today will bring but one can just hope that the chemo is working. If I have a chance, I will try to email you tonight, but it is the opening home game for the Chicago Bears. They will probably get clobbered by the cheese-heads, by which I mean the Green Bay packers. But we shall see. I hope everyone had a nice weekend.

Tom

Sent: Monday, September 29, 2003 1:18 PM

Subject: Re: Chris

Chris’ CA-125 number was in the mid 700's I guess. So this is down from last time. Not sure exactly what the number was last time but I think it was 1100 to 1300. So it is down, so need to worry. Hopefully this chemo won't stop working during the treatments like the doxil.

Tom

Sent: Tuesday, September 30, 2003 9:53 AM

Subject: Re: Chris

Chris’ first CA-125 prior to tapping is 790ish. So the experiment on the CA-125 worked because the CA-125 after tapping was 720. The premise was that the CA-125 would be higher before tapping than after tapping. But as you can see, it did not change that much either. So, it does not really matter that much when the tapping occurs. I thought you would like to know.

Tom

Sent: Thursday, October 02, 2003 6:44 PM

Subject: Chris

Chris had her fourth chemo on Taxitere on Wed ( eight more to go ). She also got tapped today and they removed about three liters worth. Hopefully, the Taxitere will keep working and she will not be needed to be tapped anymore. She still is eating and only gets sick once a week or so. Have a nice weekend.

Tom

Sent: Tuesday, October 07, 2003 2:49 PM

Subject: Chris and Me

Chris will be having her fifth chemo tomorrow. She is still having some ascities issues. If she was going to be tapped she might get it Thursday at the earliest. She is definitely doing more than she has this week than pasts. So, I'm still very positive on her prognosis. I'm sure that the next CA-125 will be down. I think that test will be in two weeks or so. Jake and Megan are doing well in soccer. This will probably be Jake's last year in soccer because he is so far behind everyone else. He generally plays for a half or so. Megan is doing really well.

I will be attempting to get back in shape for a Marathon at Disney World in Florida this coming January (Not a fund-raiser). Hopefully, Chris will be able to see me finish, if not, my mom is planning on coming down. My goal is just to finish the race and run the Chicago marathon in November for time . For those that our curious, I have attached the website for the race. The course of the marathon is very flat and that is one of the reasons why I want to run this particular course. http://dwws.disney.go.com/wideworldofsports/sportingevents/sportingevent/sportingeventindex?id=SPORMarathon04SporEvn

Hopefully, Chris’ ascities will stop and she will be able to gain more and more strength. Thanks for the continued support and prayers.

Tom

Sent: Friday, October 10, 2003 8:52 AM

Subject: Another tapping

Hi all,

Long time, no write! Well, I had 4 liters of fluid drained last night again (one week from the last drainage). I feel better but wonder when the fluid buildup will stop. Assuming the taxotere works then maybe someday it will. Tom is very positive it is working, I hope it is, but it's been hard to be positive during this time. In fact, that's one of the reasons I haven't been emailing, because while in the hospital being depressed losing my faith and hope I really didn't want to bring anyone else down. And it has been very hard for me to deal with not being able to pray. I think my only prayer was, "God, help me!" I guess that is a prayer, but a very weak one at that.

While I was saying, "God help me!", I can look back and see that He was. The prevacid stopped the vomiting. Family and friends came to help. Dad and Jackie stayed longer to help while I was in the hospital. Tom's mother has been here and helped us more than she'll ever know. So God does provide an answer to our prayers, even if it is "God, help me!". And there is the tapping which brings relief to the pain of feeling nine and a half months pregnant. So, even if I never get remission, God is helping me, just in His way, not mine.

It is true as Tom says, I am getting stronger a bit day by day. But not as fast as I would like. Chemo is taxing and it is definitely an uphill battle trying to regain strength while on chemo, but slowly and surely I hope to be able to continue improving.

I am feeling a bit better mentally and hopefully that will also continue. Am trying to face each day as it comes instead of thinking of the future.

Love and prayers to all,

Chris

Sent: Monday, October 13, 2003 4:42 AM

Subject: Weekend update

Chris has been sick this weekend a few times. Her ascities is building up also. So she wants to get tapped before chemo, so we will be shooting for Tuesday for this procedure. Amazingly, her strength seems very good. It always seems Chris has mixed results but the good thing that she has some positive results to focus on. Her CA-125 is scheduled to be drawn on the 22nd I believe. That's all from the home front. I would like to thank my mother publicly for helping us out for the entire last month. What she did for Chris can only be described as amazing. Thanks again and we love you.

Megan's soccer game was cancelled but they did scrimmage. Jake got an assist this week but his team lost. Was able to squeak out 18 miles during the weekend (3 hrs and 10 minutes). My goal this weekend will be 20 miles, so wish me luck. Thanks for the prayers and the continued support.

Tom

Sent: Wednesday, October 15, 2003 3:36 AM

Subject: Tapping

Chris got tapped last night. Basically, 4 liters were taken from her. We got home around 11:30PM. I'm taking Chris in for her 6th taxitere treatment. Thanks for the prayers and support.

Tom

P.S. Go Cubs

Sent: Wednesday, October 15, 2003 3:14 PM

Subject: Novena

Hi all,

Even though I got tapped yesterday (4L), I am still vomiting. Why, O God, can't this stop!? The fluid is building up again. It seems to never end.

Another feeble attempt at a miracle! A friend of mine, Ann Monroe Tuemler, sent a blessed Saint Peregrine Pocket Medal from her mother with a prayer to Saint Peregrine. I guess Saint Peregrine is recognized as the Patron Saint of Cancer victims because a malignant cancerous growth on his leg was cured (I've never heard of any cures through his intercession, but maybe you have.) Then some friends of the family (Pete/Julie Intriguer) sent a book with a coin with a meditation to Saint Peregrine. I think Shirley Richter even mentioned Saint Peregrine last year. So I got thinking... maybe God wants me to give you all this prayer so you can pray for your friends and family with cancer. It is pretty short. I plan on saying it as a novena (9 days) starting on October 23 ending October 31 just before All Saint's Day on November 1. That would be a nice honor to end on All Saint's Day.

And as I did the last two years, I will attempt to say the Rosary Novena starting Oct 31 (my mother's anniversary of her death). It originally consisted of 3 nine day novenas in petition and 3 nine day novenas in thanksgiving, but I'm not sure how it would work with the luminous mysteries. My thinking would be 4 nine day novenas in petition and 4 nine day novenas in thanksgiving, which is an arduous task. I did it the last two years without skipping a day, but this may be my year to try and fail. If you'd like to undertake such an arduous task then it would be nice being united in prayer during this time.

Here is the prayer to Saint Peregrine: God, who gave Saint Peregrine an angel as his companion, the Mother of God as his teacher, and Jesus as the physician for his illness; grant, we ask You, that we on earth may intensely love the Blessed Virgin Mary and our Savior, and in Heaven bless them forever. Grant that we receive the favor for which we now ask through Jesus Christ Our Lord. Amen. Petition followed by: One Our Father, Hail Mary and Glory Be accompanied by: Saint Peregrine pray for us.

Love and prayers to all.

Chris

Sent: Wednesday, October 15, 2003 3:42 PM

Subject: Novena mistake

Hi all,

Please forgive me for sending that email to all of you on the chemo list. I only meant to send it to those who have a Catholic upbringing. I DO NOT want to offend those who have other faiths. I believe our faiths have positives and that when we live out our faith according to our beliefs/Bible then we please God. So I'm sorry to have sent that email to you if you're not Catholic. Our faiths are personal and something like what I sent should never be forced on others.

Sorry.

Chris

Sent: Saturday, October 18, 2003 6:21 PM

Subject: Back in the hospital

Chris is back in the hospital tonight. She has been getting sick since October 9th once a day. The last couple days it was getting worse. She got sick at least 10 times today. She also has a fever and they are going to start an antibiotic. That's all I know at this moment. Her room number is (XXX) XXX-XXXX.

Tom

Sent: Sunday, October 19, 2003 7:26 AM

Subject: Update #2

Chris was given some antibiotic last night to fight the fever. The admitting doctor (intern) wanted her tapped (she was only about half way filled) and only collected 2.5 L. This is actually good news because it appears the ascities is filling up at a significantly slower rate than last week. She was able to eat some ice chips this morning and as of 10:00 EST, she was able to keep this down. Yesterday, anything that went into her digestive system would come up in five minutes.

Tom

Sent: Sunday, October 19, 2003 6:44 PM

Subject: New update

Chris looks pretty good at this moment of time. She just got sick about 8:30 EST for the first time today. I think that is pretty good. I guess if things look just as good as today, they might even let her go in less than 48 hours. So we need to keep our fingers crossed, that they got this diagnosed correctly. Her WBC did drop today and they think it might be due to the antibiotic. Thanks for the prayers and continued support.

Tom

Sent: Monday, October 20, 2003 1:09 PM

Subject: New update "Bad News"

Chris had an x-ray today. She has water in her longs, now. Not sure what exactly the prognosis is but I'm sure it is not the best news either. I'm so sorry about be the bearer of this news.

Tom

Sent: Monday, October 20, 2003 5:54 PM

Subject: Re: New update "Bad News"

Chris has pleural effusion around her lungs and not in her lungs (lost in the translation) as I stated earlier. Not sure about the significance of it other than it is probably not a good thing. So, Dr. Schiano will visit Chris tomorrow. So hopefully things will be better for her. I honestly think she looks really good under the circumstances. She was having a blood transfusion when I was there tonight. She still is vomiting and the Dr. Harrison ("The Texan") mentioned that they might be able to control it via medication. Thanks for the prayers and support.

Tom

Sent: Tuesday, October 21, 2003 1:19 PM

Subject: Re: New update "Bad News"

CA-125 number is 790ish, not getting better but not getting worse!!!!

Tom

Sent: Tuesday, October 21, 2003 2:25 PM

Subject: General info of Pleural effusion

Background: Pleural effusion is defined as an abnormal accumulation of fluid in the pleural space. Excess fluid results from the disruption of the equilibrium that exists across pleural membranes.

In terms of anatomy, the pleural space is bordered by parietal and visceral pleura. Parietal pleurae cover the inner surface of the thoracic cavity, including the mediastinum, diaphragm, and ribs. Visceral pleurae envelop all surfaces of the lungs, including the interlobar fissures. This lining is absent at the hilus, where pulmonary vessels, bronchi, and nerves enter the lung tissue. The mediastinum completely separates the right and left pleural spaces.

Both parietal and visceral membranes are smooth, glistening, and semitransparent. Despite these similarities, the two membranes have unique differences in anatomic architecture, innervation, pain fibers, blood supply, lymphatic drainage, and function. For example, the visceral pleurae contain no pain fibers and have a dual blood supply (bronchial and pulmonary).

Mortality/Morbidity: Morbidity and mortality of pleural effusions are directly related to cause, stage of disease at the time of presentation, and biochemical findings in the pleural fluid.

• Morbidity and mortality rates of patients with pneumonia and pleural effusions are higher than those of patients with pneumonia alone.
• Development of a malignant pleural effusion is associated with a poor prognosis. The average life expectancy of a patient after a diagnosis of malignant pleural effusion is 3-6 months. Patients with pleural effusions associated with carcinoma of the lung and GI tract tend to have the shortest mean survival time. Other indicators of poor prognosis in malignant pleural effusions can be determined from the cellular and biochemical findings in the fluid. For example, malignant pleural fluid with a glucose level less than 60 mg/dL and/or a pH less than 7.2 has a poor prognosis. Similarly, persistently negative cytologic findings in patients with known cancer and exudative effusions are associated with a decreased survival time.
• With malignant mesothelioma, the prognosis depends on the pathologic stage of the disease at time of presentation, microscopic characterization of tumor (eg, epithelial mesothelioma has a longer median survival rate compared with mesenchymal or sarcomatous type), sex (ie, better prognosis in women than men), and age (inverse relationship). In general, malignant mesothelioma has a poor prognosis, and median survival is approximately 7-10 months.

Tom

Sent: Tuesday, October 21, 2003 5:08 PM

Subject: Jailbreak

Chris is home.

Tom

Sent: Sunday, October 26, 2003 8:07 AM

Subject: Chris

Chris got tapped yesterday (4 liters) and received some fluids for her dehydration. She still is getting sick and is having a tough time taking some of her drugs. Megan and Jake are done with soccer. Chris’ sisters made it here this morning from Iowa. They are planning to drive home late Thursday or early Friday. I personally had a hard time when I heard the recent poor news about Chris and had some numerous good cries. I'm feeling better now but I'm starting feel a big void in my heart. My running is still giving me extra strength and I feel the love of the Lord's strength flow through me while doing this. Chris emotionally is dealing with the recent news. She definitely is putting a nice face on but she is struggling with this. She seems to be at more at peace now with some of the uncertainty taken out of the equation. She still seems strong but you can tell that it is taking a toll on her. Thanks for the prayers and the support.

Tom

Sent: Tuesday, October 28, 2003 5:23 PM

Subject: Important do not reply back to this message, I don't want Chris to see this.

I think Chris is sliding at a linear rate. Not sure what is going on exactly but I think things are getting progressively worse. I think the end could be earlier than the next two months as per the doctor's earlier statement. For those who are thinking about coming to visit, Ginger (Chris’ sister) and I believe that trying to find a time to visit by yourself might not be feasible because of her present deteriorating state (might not have enough time). I personally would like to invite everyone who wants to say good bye and visit with her to have a chance to do so. I know people don't want to over run us but I want everyone at least to have the opportunity to say good bye if they want too. She is having a hard time just getting out of bed and she still can not keep down any of her food. I think she starting to lose focus because she is getting so dehydrated and tired. She just feels awful.

Tom

Sent: Wednesday, October 29, 2003 7:13 PM

Subject: Quick update

Chris’ CA-125 number is 991 (up from last week) and she will not have chemo this Thursday. It appears that she might be done with chemo, but that has not been confirmed by the doctor yet.

Tom

Friday, October 31, 2003 7:09 AM

Subject: Last Night

Chris was sick last night for at least ten times.  The most ever since this illness really took off.  She also complained of pain in the morning and moaned in the night (we just got her a patch for pain medication to be administered).  The chemo nurse did set up a visit from the home health nurse for today, so that she can get some nutrition in her finally (took us several days to get this through).   I'm still concerned about the hydration issue but they cannot do both at the same time threw her infusive port.  She lost 40 pounds in fourteen days and we have not weighed her in the last three days or so.  She needs help getting out of bed and going to the bathroom now.  I'm in no mental state or have a clue to know roughly the time frame that it will take Chris to pass away.  She looks better in the morning than the afternoon.  I asked one of the chemo nurses today, if I should take her to the ER and she said whatever they do now will barely effect the outcome when she passes.  It will be so hard on the children and me.

Funeral Plans: We will have a visitation/wake in WV.  Chris will be taken to SD for another visitation and the actual funeral service.  She will be buried in Colman, SD and the funeral services will be in Colman.  Just something to think about.

Tom  

Sent: Friday, October 31, 2003 11:03 AM

Subject: New stuff

Chris had a visit from father Neil today. That was great for Chris. Chris got her TPN for her nutrition delivered just now and it is about six bags worth. She will probably get one a day or so. Laura and Ginger (Angel and Hope) are staying to Sunday. Chris' father and step-mother are coming today (not sure on how long they are staying) with her sister Betsy. Julie and Chuck (staying for a week) are coming on Sunday. So our house will be full but it will be nice to have some support.

Tom

Sent: Sunday, November 2, 2003 2:52 AM

Subject: Limbo

It seems that Chris is stable at the moment but she is still extremely tired. The TPN seems to give her enough strength for the majority of the day but she has so much pain especially in her lower back and abdomen. The good thing is that she is not dehydrated and she can think. Ginger, Angel, Hope, Luke and Laura left today. Expecting Chuck and Julie today. Chris got tapped today and she lost 3 liters and this will help her pain until she fills up again. Her blood work was low but not bad for a chemo patient. That's all I know at the moment.

Thanks for the prayers and support.

Tom

Sent: Tuesday, November 04, 2003 1:44 PM

Subject: Chris

Chris is so tired that she probably won't be physically able to attempt chemo tomorrow. Also, the doctor has not changed her chemo regiment either. Since the number is going up it is probably safe to presume that it would not be affective for her ovarian cancer. My assumption is that the doctor probably does not have a regiment available that she could survive because it is to toxic for her present condition. I'm so sorry. Hopefully, she will gain some strength tonight and try to attempt chemo tomorrow (It was too late to cancel our 10:00 appointment). If not, we will try to make her as comfortable as possible.

Thanks for the prayers and support.

Tom

Sent: Wednesday, November 05, 2003 6:34 AM

Subject: No chemo and some tough news!

Chris is not going to get anymore chemo treatments. We are bringing in hospice care for her (we just called it in at 8:30 AM). They can assess her situation better than our present doctor who is 30 miles away. This will make her comfortable much sooner than what we are presently doing (our doctor can only prescribe treatment if he actually sees her). Her color of her vomit is becoming very dark with a pungent smell (This is very telling sign). This just happened recently, so it is just a matter of time. Her mind is having a hard time focusing on a conversation also. After today, I will stay at home for the duration of her illness. The chemo nurse told me that she has about a week to live. Keep in mind that she could be wrong but she is definitely losing the battle. I can tell you this, she tried like the dickens to see her kids grow up and move out of the house. I want to thank everyone for all the help and support. I know, that it would have been almost close to impossible to get through this without everyone on this list.

Thanks for the support and continued prayers.

Tom

Sent: Thursday, November 06, 2003 10:11 PM

Subject: Hospice

Chris is now on hospice and they are very nice. They will keep Chris comfortable. We were able to get oxygen and several medications to elevate the vomiting. Keep in mind that the primary job of hospice is not to heal Chris but to have her in most comfortable state before her time has ended. They are more optimistic on the time frame than my last email but it appears that this will end in a month. She was pretty good this afternoon and she started get really tired around 7:00 EST. Thanks for the support.

Tom

Sent: Friday, November 07, 2003 6:42 AM

Subject: Up coming weekend

Chris will be either tapped today or tomorrow. Chris is still vomiting but it is becoming less frequent compared to a couple weeks ago. My mother, two sisters and four nieces/nephews on my side are coming today from the Chicago land area. On Chris's side, Chuck's wife and child are coming today along with Chris's two brothers and a sister. So the house will be packed during the day. My side will probably rent a couple of hotel rooms to attempt to alleviate the cramped quarters. On Tuesday everyone will be leaving (or left earlier) except my mother and she will stay the duration of the illness situation. Everyone has been a big help. Also, the neighbors have been chipping in big time and that his helping out big time (cooking meals, etc.). For those who are wondering about myself, I'm still running and that seems to be helping out in this situation. I know this has been tough on all of you (as well as myself) during the past two years and a couple months. This chemo list serve has been a good vent for me and I have appreciated the words of encouragement throughout the course of the horrific illness. Thank you for your prayers and continued support.

Tom

Sent: Friday, November 07, 2003 6:29 AM

Subject: Re: Hospice

I meant to say alleviate not elevate her vomiting. Whoops, changes the whole meaning of the sentence.

Tom

Sent: Saturday, November 08, 2003 6:01 PM

Subject: This will be tough to read

Chris had three liters taken out of her Friday night. That was pretty good. Also, Chris has decided not to take anymore TPN and die the natural way (this will start on Sunday or Monday). She can go back to the TPN if she wants but she feels this is time to go home and finish her marathon. Chris's brother Chuck and sister Julie were in the room when she told the hospice nurse her goals and wishes. With a heavy heart, I'm supportive of this action because I know that this whole ordeal is tough on her. Even if she stays on the TPN she might not have that great of quality of life. So this situation is very tough but for me I'm comfortable with it. My sister Brenda and Chris's brother Bill were also able to make it out to WV. The neighbors have been great in making everyone feel comfortable by making or purchasing meals. We are very appreciative of the neighbor support and also all of the prayers that everyone has done through the course of two years.

Tom

Sent: Monday, November 10, 2003 4:34 PM

Subject: Chris

Chris had a interesting day. She thought that it was the end of her life and over a two hour episode, she came out of it and asked if she was alive or not. It was very interesting and you had to be there to fully understand it. In general, Chris is losing about two liters of fluids a day without replacing any of them. Her pulse is weak, heart rate is up and her breathing is shallow (I think that is right). My mother said this is typical of someone dying. We are keeping her comfortable and if she is in pain, we give her some pain killer immediately. Julie (her sister who lives in Texas) bought a baby monitor and that helps us know if Chris wakes from her naps or not. Things here are emotionally tough but we are going to make it. Tomorrow, all the relatives will have left us and it will be my family and my mother taking care of Chris. My mother is a retired nurse so that will help us tremendously. Thank you for your prayers and support.

Tom

Sent: Wednesday, November 12, 2003 3:56 AM

Subject: Chris

We will have the nurse and social worker over today to evaluate Chris. Chris did not really talk at all yesterday or really get up either. She just slept the entire day and night. She is vomiting about the same number of times but her output has decreased tremendously (she is dehydrated). We are keeping her pain free and as most of you know that is the key to the situation now. It’s tough to deal with emotionally but in the long run she will be in a better place. Thanks for the prayers and support.

Sent: Thursday, November 13, 2003 6:41 AM

Subject: Chris is getting progressively worse

Chris did not really talk yesterday/today either. She still just slept the entire day and night for the most part (a bit restless at times). She is vomiting about the same number of times but we are talking about 10 mL each time compared to 250 mL a week ago (she is definitely dehydrated). We are still keeping her pain free and as most of you know that is the key to the situation now. According to the hospice book to help us with the situation death in general, Chris has 9 out of the 10 symptoms of death at the moment. She will be finishing her marathon soon. She is very weak and disoriented. She looks very peaceful and is praying a lot with my mother and me. Thanks for the prayers and support.

Sent: Friday, November 14, 2003 5:18 AM

Subject: We are still hanging in there

Chris still is not talking that much but at times she is alert. She still just slept the entire day and night for the most part (a bit restless at times). She listened to some phone calls yesterday but she generally understands what is going on but she can not respond. She basically can not get up on her own now. Very, very weak!! Danielle a research student of mine came over and was able to get Chris to smile and laugh. She was also able to get a sub platter from subway for us (Thanks Danielle). Chris looks very peaceful and is praying a lot with my mother and me. She enjoyed doing the rosary with my mother in the morning and last night with me. Thanks for the prayers and support.

Tom

Sent: Saturday, November 15, 2003 2:47 AM

Subject: Chris's marathon is over

Chris passed away last night in her sleep (pronounced at 4:45 AM EST by the hospice nurse). I'm so sorry. I'm glad that her pain and suffering is over for her. Yesterday, the kids and I watched movies and visited with her last night. You can tell she liked having the kids around her. She was having a good time under the circumstances. I don't know the plans yet but when I figure them out, I will send an email out to everyone. I'm glad that last weekend occurred so everyone could say their good-byes.

Sent: Saturday, November 15, 2003 6:41 AM

Subject: WV Plans are final and Tentative SD Plans

Chris will have a visitation from 6:00PM to 8:00PM on Monday at Ascension Church in Hurricane (It is off of Rt. 34, take the turn at Domino's Pizza Restaurant). At 7:30 PM on Monday will be the saying of the rosary (Chris loved saying the rosary) and a service to follow. We will have a funeral mass at 10:00AM on Tuesday at Ascension also.

Friday the visitation will be 6:00 to 9:00 PM at St. Peter's Church in Colman

Saturday, the funeral/grave site will start at 10:00 AM at St. Peter's Church in Colman.

Thank you for all of your kind words over the years, they meant a lot to both of us. Her life's marathon is truly over. God Bless.

Sent: Saturday, November 15, 2003 8:52 AM

Subject: Re: WV Plans are final and SD Plans

Chris will have a visitation from 6:00PM to 8:00PM on Monday at Ascension Church in Hurricane (It is off of Rt. 34, take the turn at Domino's Pizza Restaurant). At 7:30 PM on Monday will be the saying of the rosary (Chris loved saying the rosary) and a service to follow. We will have a funeral mass at 10:00AM on Tuesday at Ascension also. Ascension Church, 905 Hickory Mill Rd, Hurricane, WV, 25526 (304) 562-5816

Friday the visitation will be 5:00 to 8:00 PM at St. Peter's Church in Colman, SD, 57017

Saturday, the funeral/grave site will start at 10:30 AM at St. Peter's Church in Colman.

Sent: Saturday, November 15, 2003 9:54 AM

Subject: What will be in the Sunday Gazzette

Christine Justel Guetzloff

Scott Depot, WV— Christine Justel Guetzloff, PhD., 34 of Scott Depot, WV died November 15, 2003 at her residence after a courageous battle with ovarian cancer.

Christine was born January 16, 1969 in Hendricks, MN, a daughter of Charles Richter of Colman, SD and the late Bernadette Luze-Richter. She was a member of the Catholic Church of the Ascension, Hurricane, WV, participated as a marriage sponsor of the Couple-to-Couple League and was an adjutant faculty member of West Virginia State College, Chemistry Department, Institute, WV. Her hobbies included fishing, camping, various styles of music, painting, drawing, piano, and Catholicism. She was salutatorian of Colman (SD) High School, Class of 1987 and received her doctorate in Bio-Chemistry from South Dakota State University where she was voted Outstanding Graduate Student two consecutive years. She was published in several professional journals in various subjects, especially breast cancer.

She is survived by husband: Thomas Guetzloff, PhD.; children, Megan Guetzloff and Jacob Guetzloff both at home; father and step-mother, Charles and Jacqueline Richter of Colman, SD; sisters, Laura Richter of Sioux Falls, SD, Virginia Rasmussen of Rock Rapids, IA, Elizabeth Lemkuhl of Clarinda, IA, Julie Richter of Dallas, TX, Nancy Richter of Brookings, SD, brothers: Charles Richter, Jr. of Seattle, WA, William Richter, Ezekiel Richter and Alexander Richter all of Brookings, SD.

Mass of the Resurrection will be 10:00 AM Tuesday November 18, 2003 at The Catholic Church of the Ascension, Hurricane with Rev. Father Neil Buchlein as celebrant. Burial will be in St. Peter Catholic Cemetery, Colman, SD. Friends may call from 6 to 7:30 Monday at the church with Recitation of the Rosary at 7:30 PM followed by a Christian Prayer Service.

Mass of Christian Burial will be 10:30 AM Saturday November 22, 2003 at St. Peter Catholic Church, Colman, SD with Rev. Father Richard Fox as celebrant. Burial will be in St. Peter Catholic Cemetery, Colman. Visitation from 5 to 8 PM Friday at the church with a 7:00 PM Scripture Service.

In lieu of flowers the family suggests memorial contributions to: The Catholic Church of the Ascension, 905 Hickory Mill Rd. Hurricane, WV 25526. or St. Peters Church, Colman, SD 57017

Chapman Funeral Home, 3941 Teays Valley Rd. is in charge of arrangements.

Sent: Sunday, November 16, 2003 7:27 AM

Subject: Typo

I have had a lot of questions about this statement in the obituary written below. So we are taking it out entirely of the Sioux Falls paper. It should run on Wed. I did not even read it, whoops. I guess I had too many things on my mind.

Tom

In lieu of flowers the family suggests memorial contributions to: The Catholic Church of the Ascension, 905 Hickory Mill Rd. Hurricane, WV 25526. or St. Peters Church, Colman, SD 57017

PS I'm doing fine. The kids were sad at first but they seem to be better now. We are going to send them to school on Monday and Tuesday. We are planning to head for Chicago on Wed. Then get to Sioux Falls late Thursday and get the funeral home arrangements finalized Friday morning.

Sent: Tuesday, November 18, 2003 4:43 PM

Subject: Quick update

Chris's visitation and funeral went off without a hitch. Some tidbits: Mr. and Mrs. Ghaffari and Rick McCarthy came from far distances to the wake service and they definitely surprised me (that was gratefully appreciated). Ann Roe a mutual friend of ours also came from Georgia and was a great help (she was a reader/helper). Rick and the chemistry department (and Dr. Harper) were pall bearers during the funeral and I appreciated that and so did Chris.

So I'm holding up well under the circumstances and we are ready to attempt to travel to SD. It has not hit Megan that her mom is gone. Jake on the other hand is very sad and is writing a lot of books (explain later).

Our school and parents in Megan and Jake's class were awesome. They just showered Megan and Jake with presents to help them in their time of need.

Our neighbors also were helping out big time. My mother was just amazed with all of the help. Lots of people helped us in our grief and there are so many that I probably forgot about (a lot going on). I'm truly grateful for all of the hospitality that everyone has shown us out here.

Thanks for the continued prayers and support.

Sent: Sunday, November 30, 2003 8:01 AM

Subject: Back in WV

We arrived last night around 9:00PM in WV. We had a nice stay in Chicago after the funeral. Thanksgiving was not the same without Chris. It was also tough shopping without Chris on Friday morning. Megan got a game boy advance for her B-Day. She was very excited. I have not touched the thank you cards yet. I have been keeping busy by working on my classes, reports, etc for work.

The funeral in SD went well I thought. The funeral director did an excellent job and made the whole experience easier on me under the circumstances.

I know a lot of you like the updates but they are going to become less frequent in the pass. Megan and Jake are coping quite well under the circumstances. It is time to get them back into a daily routine.

Thanks for the prayers and support.

Tom

Chris was always interested in what I was doing as a young child. She was never afraid to tell me that she questioned my actions, and often forced me to look at myself in a different, more honest light. She offered me lots of guidance through my life, and I will always value her opinion on various issues. Also, Chris and Tom took me on camping trips along with Alex and Zeke several times. We caught tons of rainbow trout and saw a lot of wonderful sights. The most time I spent with Chris was when I was 12 years old, Chris asked me if I would help out with taking care of Megan ("Nutmeg," as we called her then), who was just a baby. We had so much fun dressing Megan up and taking many of pictures of her. She also bought me several books (for those of you who don't know me, just know that I LOVE to read) and introduced me to the Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings books, which became favorites of mine. She did a lot for me, including helping me clean myself up after I fell in the creek in her backyard (I did manage to keep the lawnmower from falling in though!). Also, she helped break it to her 6-year old neighbor boy that I did not want a boyfriend. I really appreciated all the time we were able to spend together that summer.

-Nancy Richter (Chris’ sister)

Chris and I talked on the phone pretty much everyday for the past two years so we got into some pretty in-depth conversations. Chris in all ways was an amazing person. One day we were talking about the book The Power of Positive Thinking and how could Chris deal with some of her negative thoughts. We discussed that it is a conscious decision to do away with the negativity that you hold inside you, perhaps like an alcoholic does when they enter treatment. In our discussion I threw out some suggestions to help her with the process. I suggested saying one positive comment for every negative thought or comment. She didn't like that. Then I asked, "Why don't you get down on your knees and say an Our Father if the demon comes over you because it really is the devil that is making you say these things?" She agreed. I didn't think much more of the conversation that day and assumed Chris probably wouldn't have either. The next morning when we spoke, one of the first things that Chris said was that her knees hurt. I didn't understand and continued on. Then she said that she had pretty much spent the whole day on her knees saying the Our Father. She could have easily forgotten about the whole thing, but instead embraced the suggestion with a passion.

-Ginger Rasmussen (Chris’ sister)

Never give up and fully live every moment we are given. There were times after Chris was diagnosed with Cancer, that I would call to chat, and instead of lifting her spirits, I found myself being consoled by her. She did not give up when she learned she had cancer. Because she didn’t give up, she spent an additional two years of quality time with her kids, including a trip to Disney World. She outlived thousands of people who died in the September 11^th bombing, the Afghanistan war, and the Iraqi war. Chris welcomed new relatives into this world, including nephews Charlie and Luke, and cousin Bretton Luze, a premature baby for whom she prayed. She and Tom even picked up a hobby or two, including home-brewing beer. She even lived to see the day that Arnold Schwarzenegger was elected governor!

- Chuck Richter, Jr. (Chris’ brother)

Chris took care of me when we were in college. She would cut my hair for free. She would introduce me to her friends and invite me to her parties. Sometimes she would set me up on blind dates. After they were graduate students, Tom and Chris mentioned how cute the nursing students were. "Come to the chemistry lab. We’ll introduce you as the Chemistry Lab Assistant. It’ll be perfect for meeting single girls."

-Chuck Richter, Jr. (Chris’ brother)

Chris had a definite fun side. On the evening of her brother Chuck and sister-in-law Chris’ wedding, after an evening of celebrating, Chris brought the kids over to our room, asked us to watch them and turned to Tom with her eyes all aglow, "Let’s go make a baby!"

Once during a snowstorm, Chris and Tom invited us over to their place in Brookings. Their hospitality included beverages and entertainment in keeping with college party traditions. An important part of their family, the dog Bandit got the same treatment as the rest of the guests. Their door was always open. Literally. The door would shut. It wasn’t what you call a luxury apartment.

-Ginger and Chad Rasmussen (Chris’ sister and brother-in-law)

When the older children were old enough to drive they drove the kids into and home from school. The parents agreed to this because it meant that they wouldn't have to drive in if someone missed catching the bus on the way home, and because the kids would arrive home earlier than they would had they taken the bus, meaning more time for chores. Every morning before school all the while competing for bathroom time, Chris would cut the departure for school down to the last minute. It would be 8:26am and the rest of the kids would be in the car which was rolling out the driveway. She'd be in the bathroom with the curling iron, primping and preening. It took time to get into those Levis, tight enough to be fashionable. Finally, she would come running out of the house and we’d get to school in the nick of time.

When she was sixteen, Chris got her first car. It was a Volkswagen bug. The engine from a wrecked van had been placed into a fairly decent body. The Goon from Dimmock put the engine in, charging a few cases of beer for his services. Chris spray painted the car white using aerosol paint cans. With a little help from her siblings she first put in boards to cover up the large rust holes in the floor, and then put a layer of carpet down. It was a small car, but many people could squeeze in. Once (with Zeke and Nancy in the back window area, 10 people were able to climb in.

She was quite fond of that little beetle, but didn’t always remember to fill up the oil and check the gas. The engine seized up. A couple more cases of beer, and The Goon had put in the second engine. One time on returning from a date with Randy from Beresford, SD, Chris ran out of gas at the Trent Exit on I-29. She left the bug on the interstate and walked 10 miles to the Colman Exit and then another mile to Grandma and Grandpa Richter’s farm.

-Julie Richter (Chris’ sister)

Chris knew how to motivate people. She motivated the kids with time-outs. She encouraged Tom to finish his dissertation with beer. She was also very religious and strong in her faith. On one visit to West Virginia, I had spent 10 hours building a bench with scrap lumber and Blenko glass bricks. I was tired and glad to be finished. She combined her motivational talents with religious fervor, stating, " I’m so blessed to have this bench, but I’d be so much more blessed if I had two of them." I built another one.

- Chuck Richter, Jr. (Chris’ brother)

The impression that Chris made on me is one that will always last. She knew how to connect with people. The multitude of people who were her friends is a testament to that. It always seemed like one or two degrees of separation at most if you mentioned someone's name to Chris while we were at SDSU.

Chris knew what she was going to do with her life. At the same time she did not allow herself to get overwhelmed with goals like getting her Ph.D. and get distracted from enjoying life.

-Dave Bentler (SDSU Friend)

Chris and I have been friends since we were very young. When we were teenagers, we would often go out for the night. My parents always knew that if I was going out with Chris that we would be careful and safe (or were we?). One night we drove to Sioux Falls and met our boyfriends from Beresford and went cruising on the loop (a big thing to do in Sioux Falls). We were driving around for awhile when the guy's car stopped, and would not restart on 10th Street and Minnesota Avenue (a very busy intersection). We did not know what to do, but Chris came up with the perfect solution. You see, this intersection was at the top of a hill so we all opened our doors and peddled with our feet to the bottom of the hill and jumped a curb into Loser's Lot (another favorite teenage hangout)!! It was quite fun trying to stop and start the car with our feet to make it through all the lights just perfectly, but we did it and had a great time!

Then there was the time when a guy in high school unhooked Chris' bra while we were in class. Chris stood up and slugged the guy in the middle of class. The teacher stood up and did not ask the guy if he was alright, but instead (since Chris was such a good person) asked if Chris was alright. Chris didn't even get into trouble because teachers knew that she would not have done something like that unless it was really necessary.

We spent a lot of time partying and having a good time in college (garbage pail parties and whatever). Chris could get me into the bars even though I wasn't 19 by getting a stamp at the door and then coming back out and copying the stamp onto my hand.

On one occasion after she was diagnosed with cancer, Chris and I were having a conversation about my daughter, who has had a few medical problems, and Chris said that she could hardly stand to see us go through so much and watching our daughter suffer. I could not believe that with all the suffering Chris endured that our mental anguish would be her top concern. It was hard for her to handle kids suffering because they do not understand what is going on. She said her suffering "wasn't that bad" because she knew what the doctors were doing and why they were doing it.

Another time I phoned Chris on the phone shortly after she was diagnosed and we were talking about praying to God for a miracle. I told her that it was okay for her to pray for herself and this stunned Chris. I explained that I had read that if you pray to God for yourself that you are admitting to God that you are small enough that you need help. It had never occurred to Chris to ask for help from God for her own illness!! Chris was a very selfless person. She was busy praying for everyone else.

She once told me that one of her biggest fears in life was that the people who prayed for her—asking for a miracle—would turn away from God if she died! She is surely an angel whom we’re privileged to have known. The miracle we prayed for received was to spend 34 years on earth with such an amazing person.

- Charlene Raley (Chris’ lifelong friend)

I first met Chris after Ginger and I had been dating for a few weeks. She and Tom invited us over for supper one evening to their upper-class apartment/house they lived in during grad school. After passing (I think) a series of tests from Tom (including the one where he showed me his gun and told me how Ginger knows how to use it), we spent quite a few evenings over at the Guetzloff residence, and I got to know both Chris and Tom. At that stage in our life, partying was one of the common pastimes. Chris could party with the best of them, I never did figure out how she could down a beer in one and a half gulps, a talent she probably hopes Megan and Jake never find out about. One other memory about that place was getting literally snowed in with Tom, Chris, Ginger, Betsy, and Lisa Lindholm (Betsy's nanny friend from Sweden) over Christmas break for a couple days without being able to move because all our cars were either completely drifted in or wouldn't start.

After Chris & Tom moved to Tabor, a favorite memory that comes to mind is the annual Czech Days celebration. Chris put out the Czech food with the best of them, and always put on a grand event for family and friends. Dozens of people would be sleeping on floors, in tents, or even under the stars to stay at the Guetzloffs for Czech Days, and it was always a blast. Chris and Tom would plan for weeks to pull off the event, and it was always a highlight of the year for us.

Chris has been a true inspiration to me, and I think to many, since her diagnosis. No matter what she was going through, Chris always put other people first. She has always led by example. It is apparent to me that she has touched so many lives through her relationship with God and her ability to bring other people closer to God. I think people could see and hear God through her, at least that is how I felt. Although we will always miss Chris, miss her smile, miss being able to pick up the phone and glean some advice on what to do with the kids, it is comforting to know that she is in a better place looking down on all of us, of that I can be sure.

-Chad Rasmussen (brother-in-law)

Without the benefit of knowing her during her more raucous days (though I've heard some of the stories), the most enduring impression of Chris was that of a devoted and tenacious mother, wife and sister. On many occasions her patience and energy seemed endless. And, on those rare moments when she'd felt she'd had enough, she was always able to keep her perspective and still smile with an appreciation of the road of life she was on. She attacked our sorely neglected garden in Seattle, tirelessly leading the rest of us by example to dig in and accomplish what none of us could have done on our own. Our neighbors marveled at what team Richter could accomplish when they got their minds to it. Her numerous road-trips with active, often queasy kids (in vehicles that weren’t prepared to go the distance) were a testament to the lengths she would go to (and messes she would put up with) to have a family adventure. When she was able to travel less due to her chemotherapy regimens she turned her energy toward projects closer to home such as working with her sister Julie to refinish a dresser set for Megan that had belonged to Chris' mother Bernadette when she was a girl. As she approached what she knew was the end of her life, Chris demonstrated with characteristic strength a beautiful example of faith and grace—an example that enriches the lives of all who knew and loved her.

- Christine Richter (sister-in-law)

When we were younger we spent some time practicing our pitching. Having several hog buildings, we practiced more often than most children. These buildings were often home to other animals, especially small rodents, which is probably why the cats would hang around to help out.

One day Chris, Laura, Ginger and I were pitching manure—or as we often called it "shnur"—out of the Farrowing House. As we pitched we would talk and try to make this chore as exciting as possible. While we were talking and pitching, Chris suddenly started screaming that she needed help. We raced over to discover her holding a lump of some sort at the very top of her pant leg. She asked us to help get her pants down and after we had pulled them down we discovered she had caught a mouse right before it had reached the absolute top. From that point on we tucked our pant legs into our socks.

-Betsy Lehmkuhl (Chris’ sister)

South Dakota State University puts out a student yearbook every year oftentimes students take this opportunity to alter their appearance. After looking through one such yearbook, Julie and I decided to help Chris broaden her dating prospects by making a list of boys Chris should date based on their yearbook picture. We went through and listed the names, the page on which their picture appeared, and any information that seemed important. We picked out every boy who wore interesting clothes, who blacked out his teeth, and we even found one gentleman who was pictured with a brown paper sack over his head. We presented the list along with the yearbook to Chris, she still has the list, and she has said that she may have kissed one or two of the boys from our list, although she claims she never used our list to obtain dates.

-Betsy Lehmkuhl (Chris’ sister)

Chris was always very active socially, her junior year of college she came down with a disease often named the kissing disease, one could probably get this disease some other way, but we were all quite sure Chris caught it the common way. It was Christmas time and Chris was weak and unable to eat, we took her to the Flandreau hospital and she was admitted. It turns out she had mononucleosis; she was so run down that she was put on an IV and was unable to partake of our family's favorite Christmas time food, Charlie's Fudge. Charlie's Fudge, our fathers recipe for the best fudge in the world or at least on the Richter Farm. This fudge required hours to make and the majority of the process included stirring the hard fudge, being very labor intensive we only made this treat once a year, at Christmas time. That day, Chris told us all she really wanted was a piece of Dad's fudge, so being the obedient sisters we are, we sneaked the chocolate into the hospital and fed it to Chris in small little bits. As she was enjoying this treat, we were watching "The Sound of Music" on television and keeping her company. As we sat watching, talking and singing, Dr. Jacobs raced into the room, grabbed the curtains and yelled, "Lets make play clothes" before breaking into his own version of "These are a few of my favorite things." Despite all of this, "The Sound of Music" remained one of Chris' favorite movies.

-Betsy Lehmkuhl (Chris’ sister)

There was a boy in Chris’ class who wanted to invite her to the prom during her freshman year. Laura, Chris and Christy Miles were at Grandma Richter’s place after school having their piano lessons. The phone rang and a boy asked for "Christy," so Christy Miles got on the phone and the boy preceded to ask her to the prom. She said something like, "I'll have to ask my mom" and "I'm only in sixth grade." At that point, he realized he had the wrong Christy and so Chris got on the phone and he repeated the question. She may have answered, "I'll have to ask my mom, " but I'm pretty sure she didn't say, "I'm only in sixth grade."

-Betsy Lehmkuhl (Chris’ sister)

I remember a time when Chris was giving me a spiritual facts-of-life talk while I was riding on the side of the John Deere 3010. Chris had come home from college on summer break to assist with the farming. We were cultivating the corn on Grandpa's farm, and the corn wasn't even knee high (Planting had been pushed back for the Richter family as it had been most years). As I rode on the fender of the 3010, I learned about Chris' views on college, spirituality, life, and the opposite sex. She predicted that when I got to college, I would question my beliefs-just as all my sisters had done. At the time, I remember thinking wow! Chris, whom I'd looked up to and thought so highly of, had struggles with faith? And had times when she had not been going to church!? At that particular age, I couldn't fathom any struggle with faith at all. But now I realize what she was experiencing was normal.

An education should make you question things that have been spoon-fed to you when you were young. During my first semester of college, I questioned things, and those questions have helped me in many ways--one can learn a lot by making mistakes. Like everyone, Chris had a set of values to which she independently arrived after going through a questioning period. Because her values were adopted in this manner, she could back them up to no end. Her values included both a religious and spiritual perspective (I've seen some religious people who are less than spiritual, and in my opinion she was both).

Chris' most defining quality was her goodness. It was part of how she would talk to me about faith, values and other things. Throughout the discussions, she was never judgmental (well, for the most part); she was very understanding. The conversations revealed that she was a very good person, rooted in truth. She had a reason for everything that she did. I remember walking around the Hillsdale circle near her house in West Virginia with her when I visited in March of 2003. We talked about life and struggles with faith. Whenever we would talk about faith we always had a great conversation! You knew that Chris was happy to listen and to share.

Someone recently asked me if I felt that Chris loved me. My answer: Heck yeah! I know she did--I'm not saying that she was never disappointed with me, but I knew she loved me. I'm going to miss her. Our talks about faith are one of the things I will miss the most now that she's gone. Heck, we had talks about faith on the tractor, on the trip to the Black Hills, during Christmas time, and in West Virginia. I think I've always looked up to Chris. That's not to say we always agreed. There were times when we argued, sometimes we would even argue about good and evil. But we always shared our views with respect for each other's opinion.

I am glad I visited with Chris in West Virginia shortly before she died. Recently, I have found myself thinking about her, and missing her a lot. Facing my thoughts and fears about Chris' cancer and death has opened up a whole new realm of questions-uncomfortable questions about my life. These questions emphasize the importance of getting our priorities straight, enjoying life now, repenting now, loving now, studying a major we love now (or at least a minor), and mending fences with those with whom we've fought now. I love you, Chris. You were, and continue to be, a great source of inspiration, knowledge and wisdom.

Zeke Richter (Chris’ brother)

When she was about six, Chris was tending the calves as they grazed in Rachel and Fred's tree grove. Chuck, Laura and Bill were helping her make sure the calves didn’t run away. Chris, telling a story about how the pioneers could keep themselves warm in the winter, directed younger siblings Laura and Bill put their hands and feet into a warm green cow-pie (Or would it be a calf-pie?). Spankings were in order, or so thought the parents, even using a willow stick. Chris claimed that she couldn't sit down for a week.

Chuck Richter, Jr. (Chris’ brother)

Chris excelled at many of the things that she attempted. In High School, she leveraged her farming background in the Future Farmers of America (FFA). In Colman, if you were in FFA, you were also in a class called Vocational Agriculture. As the only girl in the class, she earned the respect of the farm boys (and her favorite High School Teacher, Craig Debydahl) by welding, repairing engines, and building things. She even became the Colman FFA Chapter President. Years on the farm had toughened her, and some of the boys felt threatened. One boy picked on her and even threatened her. The rest of the guys rallied around Chris, posting odds and placing bets on she would be the winner—should they ever get into a knock down drag out fight. (She never fought him.)

The FFA created an opportunity for Chris to see and experience new places. She traveled to competitions (both local and national) scoring high marks in the land, crop, meats and livestock judging competitions. On one such occasion after performing well, she was called to the stage to accept an award. On the way to collect her trophy, she climbed the paper-covered steps (no red carpet for the FFA!) to the stage. Chris’ demeanor quickly turned from pride to one of embarrassment as her foot (followed by her entire leg) slipped through the gap in the stairs. A quick look over her shoulder to make sure that nobody saw revealed that she commanded more than the audience’s attention—a roar of laughter from all the boys from South Dakota AND Minnesota who were participating in the event.

-Laura Richter (Chris’ sister)

I knew Chris a long time. She was here even before I was born. It’s hard to remember my favorite thing about Chris. I remember going to her place in West Virginia last year. We had a fun time. Everyone went on the waterslide. I was not scared. I do remember Chris’ bald head (from the cancer). I do miss her.

-Billy Richter (Chris’ brother)

My impression of Chris was that she a frugal person, who lived efficiently and she didn’t get angry frivolously. She was intelligent and wasn’t afraid to state her opinions. She talked to me on the night before she was admitted to the hospital (with what we then thought was gallbladder problems), and we discussed many topics. The conversation went from religion and philosophy to consciousness and life itself. I was happy to hear that she thought I had my head on straight. Although she did attempt to guide me in some areas where she felt that was necessary. She felt that her destiny was to work for years on finding cures for autism and for cancer.

-Alex Richter (Chris’ brother)